Outside of a Dog| INACTIVE

[benvolio]

((I'm good too- ought we to godmod her exit, or just continue on and forget about her?))

[belladonna]

(Methinks we could carry on, assuming she has already left?)

Belladonna took account of a certain something Ben said. She doted on the melodrama, on strained and nerve-thrilling situations; she liked a sweeping gesture, an exalted tone of voice, and glaring novelties. Her pathos was often of the exaggerated variety, but she played with fervor. A certain play, or some accent or word would move her so deeply that even after leaving the stage she would still shed real tears behind the scenes. She knew her parts better than anyone else, for she would memorize them with mechanical precision.

Yet Ben spoke of rejection, a word belonging to Belladonna's parts. It occured frequently, no matter how wrathful by temperament her audition might have been. They cared so little for her, and her old dresses and sombre cosmetics, that she might well of asked a wax statue for a part. Ending his account, the girl leant forward with a degree of secrecy.

'I respect you, Ben.' She said in a slow, calm voice. 'Don't think there's anything corny, sappy .. whatever, about wanting to go your own way. Improving people's lives, thats huge. Sure, having a business and having money is nice, but it's nothing without your health.'

Belladonna, who had preserved a discretion, fell back into the seat and touched the head of her fountain pen to the corner of her mouth, which beamed a concluding smile. 'Your dad should understand.'

The girl's lips parted for their peculiar laugh of embarrassment, yet the question was a polite one that she forced her sweetest gravity. 'Yeah, it just kinda hasn't taken off yet. I'm in a little part now, but it's nothing. Just something to study up on at the University.' She shrugged her shoulders and smiled for a split-second. The only reason she had the part was because she was studying the novel, not because the tutor thought she had any particular talent. Any idiot could have gotten it. The best therapy was just to laugh it off. 'Not exactly a big break, but I guess it's better than nothing.'

[benvolio]

Ben smiled wryly. Belladonna's sentiment seemed genuine, even if it was what everybody said when he explained his situation. Come to think of it, by now that was quite a large group; it was almost surprising that his father hadn't heard anything yet.

"Thank you." he said, lips still quirked in a half-smile. "That's a perfectly logical and reasonable way to look at it. The problem remains," he ran a hand through his hair, "that despite a shrewd mind and excellent business sense, my father's logic tends to be rather convoluted." Ben sighed. His father's "selective memory" was rather a roadblock to looking at things objectively. The more emotionally tied to a subject he was, the less logical his decisions were. This was precisely why he could manage a multibillion dollar company with ease, but still be utterly unable to accept his son's plans for the future.

He stopped himself from wincing. Here he was, trying to avert his own embarrassment, and in the process obviously embarrassing Belladonna. Those famous Montague social skills couldn't stay hidden for long!

"Hey, it's certainly a start. You know what my sister's first break was?" If Carlotta ever found out he was telling this to a near-stranger, she would throttle him. "She was in an ad for nail polish remover. The script was terrible; the product still worse." That put it mildly: the stuff had a terrible smell that lingered for weeks, and though he hadn't personally tried it out, it gave his mother a persistent rash on her hands that took longer to dissipate than the smell.

He smiled softly, "And even after all of that, she still went forward and set herself up for a successful career. I'm sure you will too."

[belladonna]

Belladonna looked up with a smile, half play, half pain. 'A nail polish remover ad?'

She sat back and mused, unconsciously lulled by the posed idea, and with her mind poised midway between emotion and thought. To yield to emotion would have been to chafe against the bands, acts and such that had knitted so much rejection and letdown into her feelings of self-assurance. To yield to thought would have been to think of them as no more to be drawn from these surrounding ties than some animate rainbow-fringed flower of the sea could be torn from its bed without laceration and death. To give thought word would have been to cry with frustration. Yet the suspense between avoided feeling and avoided thought.

Belladonna became silent, feeling a sudden chill distrust in herself. That former fear of the unknown, experienced in the past, now took possession of her. The conversation with Ben forced her to think through things; she continued to speak to him, but felt vexed at herself for having said so much. She did not like to think herself one to ramble on about her career woes. Gazing at Ben, she saw so much strength and inner health, so many desires, dreams, and hopes, that she half-accidentally muttered aloud;

'Hmm, your starting to sound like my Maya. She's always trying to boost my confidence.' She was lifted by the mention of Agatha, her adoptive mother, but withdrew quietly when she realised an explaination was due, 'Sorry, Maya. It's a .. name, thing, for my mother. Well .. figurative mother.'

[benvolio]

Ben laughed, nodding: "Yep, a nail polish ad. An ad with a script so horrendous that it took Carlotta days to figure out how to say it without cracking up."

Carlotta, bless her, really would throttle him now if she ever heard he had mentioned this. He sighed mentally; he almost missed those early days. His sister had been a lot less haughty then- her success made her almost arrogant.

...Okay, more than almost. He didn't want to think of her that way, though: she was his sister, and he loved her. No matter how much of a prima donna she became. She was only understudying the lead now; he shuddered to think of what she would be like when she inevitably landed the role for herself.

His little inward digression made him almost miss the pensive Belladonna's next words. She said them so softly that Ben thought she probably hadn't even meant to say them aloud. He felt slightly embarrassed, as he always did when he accidentally was brought in on something private. It happened a lot; Ben was just the sort of person who inspired people to share their thoughts, however private. He was never quite sure why- maybe it was something in the way he listened?- but it was always somewhat awkward; he never knew quite how to respond. At least Belladonna's remark was relevant... He was honestly rather flattered; while he couldn't know for sure, being compared to her mother seemed like high praise.

He smiled reassuringly. "Your confidence just seems to need boosting. Trust me: I know everything will turn out swimmingly."

His eyes lit up, smile broadening a bit: "And don't trip all over yourself; we all have odd names for family members. I used to call my grandmother..." he trailed off and shook his head, "but never mind, that's irrelevant. I'm curious though: why Maya?"

((sorry this is so bad; I'm really jetlagged!))