Post by LADY CATHERINE DE BOURGH on May 17, 2010 21:31:29 GMT -5
For once , it seemed as though Lady Catherine de Bourgh didn't have something to complain about. She'd had her nails painted pearly pink, gotten a perm, had a little tiny bit of retail therapy (and bought herself a new pair of Jimmy Choo's, a Louis Vuitton handbag and yet another Chanel suit) and was now seated in Starbucks, with her usual vanilla latte in front of her.
She came to this particular coffee shop so often that the baristas didn't even need to ask what she wanted; they just made it quickly and quietly, with little fuss, and got it to her as soon as they could. The record at present was two minutes; pretty good considering Lady Catherine's infamous lack of patience.
However Lady Catherine's good moods were never destined to last for long. Having drunk about a quarter of the coffee and pronouncing it satisfactory, she procured a copy of The New York Times from the news-stand and had a flick through. After commenting to herself and rolling her eyes over some of the articles she set the paper down and extracted a small, leather bound notebook, a bright pink binder and a pen from her recently purchased capacious Gucci bag.
She flipped open the binder and scanned the first page.
Dear Agony Auntie Augusta,
I forgot my best friend's birthday and promised to buy her something very special to make up for it. There was a sale on in the Gucci store at the mall so naturally I went there to get my friend her present. However when I got there almost everything had been sold, if it wasn't being bought by this really bossy lady with bad hair. My friend found out I was at the store and is now demanding I give her a Gucci purse I don't have! What do I do?
Lady Catherine glanced over at her bag, then back at the folder. Who was this bossy lady with the bad hair? She hadn't seen any bossy lady with bad hair when she'd been at the Gucci store recently... Maybe the person who sent the query had been hallucinating?
Yes, that must be it. Now to think of a suitable answer...
She came to this particular coffee shop so often that the baristas didn't even need to ask what she wanted; they just made it quickly and quietly, with little fuss, and got it to her as soon as they could. The record at present was two minutes; pretty good considering Lady Catherine's infamous lack of patience.
However Lady Catherine's good moods were never destined to last for long. Having drunk about a quarter of the coffee and pronouncing it satisfactory, she procured a copy of The New York Times from the news-stand and had a flick through. After commenting to herself and rolling her eyes over some of the articles she set the paper down and extracted a small, leather bound notebook, a bright pink binder and a pen from her recently purchased capacious Gucci bag.
She flipped open the binder and scanned the first page.
Dear Agony Auntie Augusta,
I forgot my best friend's birthday and promised to buy her something very special to make up for it. There was a sale on in the Gucci store at the mall so naturally I went there to get my friend her present. However when I got there almost everything had been sold, if it wasn't being bought by this really bossy lady with bad hair. My friend found out I was at the store and is now demanding I give her a Gucci purse I don't have! What do I do?
A Handbag?!, Queens
Lady Catherine glanced over at her bag, then back at the folder. Who was this bossy lady with the bad hair? She hadn't seen any bossy lady with bad hair when she'd been at the Gucci store recently... Maybe the person who sent the query had been hallucinating?
Yes, that must be it. Now to think of a suitable answer...
