Rob In The Hood - INACTIVE

[sped22]

Hi, my name is Eddie and this is my First character. I found this site through Google. Something you should know about me is I'm a rapper .

Robert Hook
Low Class



Canon:Robin Hood and his merry men
Custom Title:Rob in the Hood

PHYSICAL
Age:17
Gender:Male
Appearance:Rob doesn't really pay much attention to the clothing he wears besides his hoody, he wears plain clothes because loud colored brand name clothes just catch attention.

[/b]
Height:Average
Body:Athletic
Other distinguishing features:The green Hoody he wears on a daily basis and the Tattoo of his towns postcode on his back
Wardrobe:Plain Clothes
Play By:Esotericizm Bliss n Eso


PERSONALITY
General personality:Rob has been a mischievous little trouble maker since he could walk he loved the adrenaline rush of it all the the attention from police,the fighting and the love of his homies for it .

That doesn't mean he's ever been a bad or cruel person in fact he is quite the opposite he's always down to help a person in need
because of the way he was brought up with his mother and never getting any help from anyone it made him want to be different he wanted to help those in need in any way he could which went from as big as "settling" debts to as little as taking them out for a feed

Rob is a Lil bit scattered from all the weed he smokes but it does keep him nice and paranoid which isn't always a bad thing as long it's in the right sitch at the right time

Although Rob is mature and considers himself a Business man he's still an average teenage boy who falls for all the average teenage traits the girls, the parties and the drugs.
Quotes, frequently used expressions:Take from the pimpin give to the needy

Likes:
[li]His Hood
[/li][li]The people in his hood
[/li][li]money
[/li][li]Marijuana
[/li][li]Hip Hop
[/li][/ul]
Dislikes:

• Rich people who flaunder money around like it's nothing
  
• Police
  
• People who look down on the poor
  

Strengths:Has done Martial Arts all his life,very ambitious
and is a smooth talker
Weaknesses:Ladies,Rushes into situations and his friends


BACKGROUND
Family:Samantha Hook(Mother-Deceased)
(Farther-Unknown) no one he considers family besides his close friends
Education:Is quite intellectual but is a high school drop out
Occupation:Steals off the rich
Worst past experience:Mother dying in his arms
Best past experience:The first time he earned his first "loot"
Image:The people in his hood look to him as a god send as he helps them all out where he can but to most of the higher class community would probably see him as a lowlife criminal
History:Robert was born in the slums of New York to a single teenage mother who could barely support herself besides Robert, but she always did the best she could to get both of them by.

At age 10 him and his mother walked into a grocery store to get something for dinner and this man walked past them and muttered something about low lives but they didn't take notice and just kept shopping.As Robert and his mother walked out the door and down the alleyway back to their house, the man in the store who muttered the comment popped out from behind a wall. He took three shots at Rob and his mother. One nicked Rob in the shoulder and the other....landed straight in the middle of his mothers head.
That night Rob was patched up in hospital and moved to an orphanage where he was picked on by most of the bigger kids.
The getting picked on led him to get a job at a grocery store down the road so he could started doing Lessons in Karate and Muay Thai and let's just say no one at the orphanage bothered him again. After about two years of being in the orphanage he left and took to the streets.


The streets where rob found a place he fit in and people he could relate to.He started to deal drugs for a crime boss named Slade whom rob looked up to.He Started making money for him and his boys but it wasn't enough so they started stepping there game up to robberies and such.Rob remembered to always give a cut to the general people around town to make sure no one talked and simply to help out a bit. This is the way rob grew up the way he was taught Support the fam and they'll support you.Slade died last year and Rob has since stepped in as the new boss

THE SAMPLE
In Character Sample:"Yo rob brother i got a problem you reckon you can help me out?" said the kid who was only barely a teenager.

Rob looked at him and with a slight smile said "What you need bro?"

The kids eyes looked to the ground and back to Rob awkwardly. "10 grand"

Robs eyes almost blew out of his head . "10 GRAND! Boy what'd you get yourself into?" he asked.

"I got credit with Big Nick." Big Nick was a big loan shark round here. You owed money to him...you paid.

Rob shook his head from side to side. "Man ima have to sort this out, but don't worry about the cash. I got your back" Rob said, slapping the kid down and pulling his phone out. "Yeah Jarred get the boys together down at Big nicks...we got work to do...."

[hamlet]

Duuuuuude, this Robin Hood is gonna be cool as hell lol BTW, don't be scared by this wall of text I'm about to post, I just talk a lot lol

Firstly, I edited the coding for you a bit so the format looks all nice an neat And I also edited in a pic for you. Im not familiar with the group but I think the guy in the pic is MC Eso, correct?

Before I accept, I just need a few things

1) I need at least 2 good paragraphs for the personality. Try to give me some details about this guy. Is he a reckless troublemaker or a troublemaker with purpose? Does he enjoy causing trouble? Is it FUN for him? And when you say he's not a cruel person, how so (besides being generous with what he steals)? How does he balance not being cruel and being on the streets?

Does he have a sense of humor? What is that like?

Is he a hard worker? Is he very disciplined (since he knows martial arts)? Or is he a work hard/party hard kind of guy?

Is he the kind of guy you can just chill and smoke with on occasion or is he always on edge?

Is he a charmer? Is he witty? Is he boastful? If he is ambitious, how so? What kind of a leader is he?

You don't have to answer all of those, but those are just some things to think about as you fill up the personality. What is he really like, in a sense? To help yourself, you can add a bit more to the likes and dislikes that aren't just specific to the "robin hood" staple, but more towards his individual personality. For instance, he seems to have a very hip hop heavy personality, so I would assume he listens to a lot of rap. You could put that down for a like, and then ask yourself "does the hip hop culture influence his personality? How so? Why not?"

2) The history, its great. But I need to know how he learned martial arts in the middle of all the stuff that's happened. And did anything besides just the fighting aspect influence how he views things in life since he's been doing it "all his life."

3) I would say go over the app again once those changes are made and tidy up the language just a bit. I love the urban voice you use in this. Love it to death. But some things can just be a bit clearer, just formatting wise and punctuation. I'll give you an example with your rp sample and then you can do the rest for the history. Basically, I'll I'm doing is breaking up the paragraph so it's a bit easier to read. Usually the best thing to do is put breaks before someone says something, so people can tell who said what. All other changes I put in blue.

Rob walked out of his front door, putting his well known green jacket on as he looked around the dirty smelly slums of the city. He took a sniff in and smiled to him self. "Gotta love home" he said softly under his breath.

He walked down the street exchanging hugs, handshakes and greetings from people until he was stopped by one of his boys.

"Yo rob brother i got a problem you recon you can help me out?" (note: all places where you're controlling another character other than your own should be in a different color) said the kid who was only barely a teenager.

Rob looked at him and with a slight smile said "What you need bro?"

The kids eyes looked to the ground and back to Rob awkwardly. "10 grand"

Robs eyes almost blew out of his head . "10 GRAND! Boy what'd you get yourself into?" he asked.

"I got credit with Big Nick." Big Nick was a big loan shark round here. You owed money to him...you paid.

Rob shook his head from side to side. "Man ima have to sort this out, but dont worry about the cash. I got your back" Rob said, slapping the kid down and pulling his phone out. "Yeah Jarred get the boys together down at Big nicks...we got work to do...."

So yeah! I love it, I'm all ready to accept you. Just beef up the personality, explain the Martial Arts, and go over the history and RP sample a bit to tidy up the language. Let me know when you've edited by replying...and also let me know if you have questions or concerns!

[sped22]

Cheers for the help (: but yeah is that alright??

[hamlet]

We're almost there. What you've added in the personality section is more of a history. He likes helping those in need because of what happened with his mother, this is something I got from your history section. But what about some of the personality questions I've posed? Don't be afraid to really explore who this guy is and let us in on it. The effects of the drugs is a good start.

And also one thing I forgot (sorry! lol), is the appearance. That section tells us a little more than just his physical attributes. After "Appearance:" say a little about how he carries himself. How a person carries himself tells us a lot about who they are, so besides the hoody, does he wear brand name urban wear? Is looking well put together important to him? That kind of stuff.

Don't forget to edit your RP sample with the changes I've made and also, maybe taking a look at some of the accepted applications would help too. That'll give you a better look at the kind of depth we're looking for when we ask for personality and the like

[sped22]

No Worries How bout that?

[hamlet]

Oh next time just edit the first post I did that for you.

You're good with the appearance, good with the personality.

I'm still a little shaky about the history, mostly the punctuation in it. For instance you have this sentence: "As Robert and his mother walked out the door and down the alleyway back to there house the man in the store who muttered the comment popped out from behind a wall and took three shots at him and his mother one nicked him in the shoulder the other....landed straight in the middle of his mothers head."

Which is four lines long and its a bit hard to connect one thought with the other once you get to the end of the sentence. Instead, it could read like:

"As Robert and his mother walked out the door and down the alleyway back to their house, the man in the store who muttered the comment popped out from behind a wall. He took three shots at Rob and his mother. One nicked Rob in the shoulder and the other....landed straight in the middle of his mothers head."

See how thats more clear? Its still keeping the informal urban voice you have going but breaking up the sentence just makes it read a bit easier.

So giving your history section a run through for these kinds of sentences would help...and you should be all set. Thanks for being so patient

[sped22]

No worries thanks for all the help and that should be it i think (:

[hamlet]

Take one more look at your history. You still have really really long sentences in there, like this one: "That night Rob was patched up in hospital and moved to an orphanage where he was picked on by most of the bigger kids which led him to get a job at a grocery store down the road so he could started doing Lessons in Karate and Muay Thai and let's just say no one at the orphanage bothered him again." and one in the last paragraph that goes on for almost five lines. Separate your thoughts. Make one point about what you're trying to say, end it with a period. Then make another point.

[sped22]

Lol....i SUCK but seriously thanks for the helping
is that alright??

[hamlet]

Yep! Accepted!

Just be careful when you post, make sure your sentences aren't too long and are punctuated And as you RP you can come back to this application and edit in things that you discover about your character. And as a suggestion, you might want to play with the element of disguise when you go about stealing and such since RH was a staple for being master of disguise.

From here you can go to the graphics section and request a signature and avatar. And you can jump right into RPing (you can use the pic I put in your app as a temporary avatar)

I'm thinking some of the laws and policies at City Hall might be of big interest to you lol. The sticky threads in that board outline how our mayor system works and what the current laws/policies are.

Peruse the board, check things out and if you have any questions, let me know.

[sped22]

Checked the rules and everything so guess im ready thanks for the patience