A Respite|(Jane - FINISHED)

[JANE EYRE]

Jane smiled and pulled one of the large tomes towards her. It was quite heavy and made a dry rustling sound as it slid across the table. It reminded her of some of the larger, antique books that Mr. Rochester had kept locked behind a glass case. He didn't keep them locked there for long after Jane had arrived, of course. Mr. Rochester had been more than happy to produce the key and slid the glass aside. The whole time she had been there, in his home, Jane had free reign of his considerable library.

That was then. This is now.

Jane flipped through the book, running her finger down the index while she tried to pinpoint the pages with the information necessary for her mission. She found the right page and turned to it, the dry, aged paper a comforting feeling between her fingers.

"I found a picture of a vase, but I can barely make out the markings," Jane squinted at the page then closed the book and pushed it aside. She reached for book number two and dove into it. "Thank you for helping me with this, I really appreciate it,"

[chase]

Chase had continued to look through the books, searching for the picture in question but at times becoming distracted by other things. He had found solace in books lately. That is, he had always had a fondness for reading, but that had only increased since the passing of his love. After her death, vainly he had sought to borrow from his books surcease of sorrow—sorrow for the lost Lenore—and, in large part, he had succeeded, if only temporarily. This excursion was helping as well, for his memories only popped up occasionally now that his brain was otherwise engaged.

As Jane mentioned having found a vase, Chase cracked open another book, one that was much newer than most of the others. It was a book Chase had selected for giggles, a children's guide to Greek mythology. He definitely wished he'd been exposed to this stuff as a child, but he imagined the material probably went over the heads of a lot of kids. Still, it was an interesting overview of ancient Greek history and beliefs, and it was illustrated. There was even a drawing of a Prometheus bound to a rock, being eyed by a large eagle.

"Do you think this might help?" Chase asked, showing the drawing to Jane. The picture was not exactly art at its finest, but it was something, and it was probably more helpful than the grainy vase photo. "Oh, and it's no trouble. It's kind of funny that we ran into each other like this, but you know, don't stare at gift horses and such."

[JANE EYRE]

Jane laughed lightly at the picture that Chase showed her. It was a cartoonish rendition of the scene but it was better than the photo she had found. "That's a definite maybe," Jane joked, tapping the page with her fingertip.

It's kind of funny that we ran into each other like this

"I agree. It's rather strange that I run into someone who knows Greek mythology so well on the one day where I'm looking to paint a Greek inspired painting," Jane nodded her head at Chase's sentiment. It was a rather bizarre coincidence really and even Jane, a woman who did not believe in coincidences, had to admit that. It was refreshing to have a common ground as focused as mythology. Of course, it was nice to be able to meet and talk to people in general considering that Jane didn't have many people she could turn to in New York. Chase seemed like he was in the same boat; he was rather forlorn it seemed, and the books were just a method of dealing with whatever pain was there.

[chase]

Chase nodded as he picked up another book and turned to the index. Not that he felt he could say so out loud- even thinking it was a bit too uncomfortable for him- even if he had believed in coincidences, he wouldn't have thought of their meeting as one. He was helping her find a sort of starting point for her painting, and, while she did not know it (or so he thought), her presence was helping to distract him from his grief.

He stopped before he reached the back of the book, as something caught his eye. There was a large, page-sized illustration under his thumb, of what appeared to be a lithograph of an old oil painting. The text was all in Greek, but he was certain the caption labeled it as being about Prometheus. Besides, the giant bird attacking a man on a rock kind of gave it away.

"Hey, this might be better." Turning the book around, he showed her the painting. "What do you think?"

[JANE EYRE]

Jane leaned across the table to look at what Chase had found. "Oh, that's perfect," Jane took the book from Chase to inspect the image closer. It was obviously an earlier rendition of the same event, but it had everything that Jane needed. The feel, the proportions of the bird to Prometheus...Jane looked up from the book to Chase, smiling broadly. "Thank you so much, this is exactly what I needed," Jane looked back down at the lithograph and took inventory on everything that she would have to keep in mind while painting, the first and foremost being not to use this image as a guide, but rather, to use it as inspiration. She could never copy another artist's work and she even felt badly about using it as inspiration for her own piece, but myths were obscure and she had to start somewhere.

"Do you know where the large eagle came from? I know that Titans were massive and that there weren't that many large eagles flying around in Greece," Jane wanted to understand the myth in depth and that meant asking all the silly questions. She hoped that Chase wouldn't mind (had a feeling that he wouldn't mind) and that he would take the opportunity to open up some more. He seemed like a nice man, but was so...introverted about something that Jane felt like she was looking in a mirror at herself.

[chase]

Chase smiled, glad that the lithograph seemed to work for Jane. He was not sure of her specific plan for the painting, but at least she had found something to help her with her goals. He was always happy to help someone out, especially since she had been kind enough to stop and help him clean up the books he'd dropped.

He had noticed that she was very quiet, but had not really endeavored to pinpoint a source of that introversion. Speculating on why she was quiet would probably have led him to think about his own problems, which was exactly what he was trying to avoid. He still wasn't really able to separate himself or Lenore from everyday happenings. She really was everywhere, more so than she had been in life.

He looked up as Jane asked about the eagle. That was a good question, though not one he could give an easy answer to. "Um, I think that's pretty debatable. Some scholars just say it was some godlike bird or maybe some species that's long since been extinct. They could be right." He paused to think for a second. "If you're looking for a model, the golden eagle is your best shot. They're pretty big, and there used to be some huge specimens that lived on Crete. It's been suggested that that's what species our eagle was."

That probably meant looking up some old books about golden eagles in Eurasia. Chase wasn't all that familiar with birds, but he wouldn't mind helping if Jane asked him to. "I dunno if you'd find many illustrations of the Crete birds exactly, but golden eagles are pretty common."

[JANE EYRE]

"I know about golden eagles. I had a book when I was younger that had several illustrations of them," Jane knew exactly what Chase was talking about. One of her aunt's many books had been on birds and there were three whole pages dedicated to the golden eagle. Jane, being young and impressionable as she was back then, committed the image to memory because it was so majestic in her eyes.

"You've been such a big help, I can't even begin to thank you," Jane smiled brightly at Chase. Now, she could do the painting. There were moments when she considered abandoning the idea because it was so hard for her to find time to research it. Meeting Chase and talking to him has helped her find everything she needed in such a short amount of time. It was brilliant really.

[chase]

It had not occurred to Chase that Jane would already know about golden eagles; he mentally kicked himself for that. She was a scholar too, after all, and was clearly the sort to absorb any and all information made available to her. At least her familiarity with the species would make things that much easier for her. She would be painting something she was familiar with, rather than some exotic animal that hardly anyone would have recognized anyway.

"I'm glad to have been of help." Chase gave Jane a somewhat bright smile. He was becoming more at ease with her as time passed and as the work of looking up things and thinking conveniently distracted him from the problems he'd been facing. But now that Jane had found what she had been looking for, he guessed she was going to head home and get started. He couldn't blame her for that; the project seemed pretty exciting.

"So, uh, anything else you might need?" He didn't want to keep her hanging around if she was finished. He had found a nice collection of books, if the glance-throughs he had done in search of the painting were any sign, and would probably be able to waste several days away reading them. Still, hanging out with actual people was more interesting than even a good book.

[JANE EYRE]

"No, I have everything I need," Jane was slightly disheartened by the fact that she didn't have much of a purpose to talk to Chase now. Not one to strike up a conversation on the fly, Jane paused to think about how to continue. She didn't really want to leave and fo back to her apartment, empty as it was. It had was sometimes to keep returning to the solitary life style that she had been so content with for so long. After living at Thornfield and being surrounded by kind people every day, it was difficult to be alone for nearly every hour of every day. Jane didn't get up to leave the table though she did keep the book with the picture beneath her hands.

"Do you mind if I stay for a while longer? I haven't anyone or anything to go home to," Jane querried quiety. She looked at the title of the book and didn't look up at Chase. She felt so silly for wanting his company so badly. But even she got lonely from time to time even though as a child she was so profoundly alone. That's why she had turned to art initially but now, when art was her life and career instead of a stress relieving hobby, it did little good. "And it's quite nice to have company,"

[chase]

As Chase had guessed, Jane was more or less done with her work at the library. What he had not expected was her asking to stick around. He gave her a smile, though she was looking at the book sort of intently. "Sure," he said easily.

Of course he was glad she wanted to stay. He just didn't want her to feel that she had to ask permission, or that she was intruding on his time or anything. Quite the opposite. Her company was pleasant and interesting, and very much distracting, which would have been a problem if being distracted had not been his reason for coming to the library in the first place.

"It is nice to have company," he agreed sincerely. Absently, he started to stack the books, except the one Jane had chosen, back into neat columns. "I was looking for books to read for that reason, I guess. But talking to people is better." He grinned for a fleeting moment. "I live in a pretty big flat by myself, so I can relate. It's peaceful for a while, but then it becomes sort of maddening. Not that being in a library is that much better, but at least there are people around, even if they aren't talking to you." He realized he was rambling and stopped abruptly. "Sorry, I guess I sound sort of crazy."

[JANE EYRE]

"You don't sound crazy at all," Jane smiled and looked up. It struck her how similar they were. Both Chase and she were lonely, finding their only solace in books or paintings; inanimate objects for company did little to appease the overwhelming sense of solidarity. They were both desperate for human company, managing only to find it in other displaced souls. Chase straightened the stacks of books much like she did her own at home, it seemed like they both needed something to do with their hands when they talking. Jane was running her fingers over the cover of the book she had chosen over and over again while he was speaking.

"I know what it's like, I really do. To be suddenly alone is...it's hard," Jane thought about how hard it had been to leave Edward. It had been so difficult to go from the pleasantly crowded life at Thornfield to an empty apartment in Brooklyn. Even though felt like she had been more or less alone her whole life, she still had people around her like Adele and Bessie. Jane didn't know what kind of life Chase had lived, or whether or not he was by himself now by choice or fate, but she could tell that he was unhappy and a little lost in his new position. She could tell because she saw herself in him.

[chase]

Chase wasn't entirely convinced that he didn't come off as something of a lunatic, but at least Jane was being very tolerant of his behavior. He had scared some people away with his grief and aloofness lately. Though there were those outstanding people- Vivian, Harry, and now Jane- who, as complete strangers, had put up with him at some of his most difficult times. Then again, Harry had been drunk and possibly more grief-stricken than Chase had been, so maybe that one evened out.

He just gave her a weak smile of thanks. Some people didn't like feeling patronized, but he was beyond the point of caring what fueled people's acceptance of him. Besides, she sounded sincere.

Then she said something that took him by surprise:

"I know what it's like, I really do. To be suddenly alone is...it's hard."

Those were the words he had never been able to say, or to form into a complete thought. But, now that she had said them, he realized how true they were. He was alone, and it was difficult. It was nice to hear someone say so.

He guessed Jane meant moving to the States, as she had mentioned earlier, but he wasn't really sure, and didn't want to ask in case it was something really personal or bothersome. Sometimes it just helped to talk in general.

"Yeah." Chase nodded, looking down. He hadn't noticed her habit of touching the book cover; he hadn't even really noticed his fidgeting with the stack of books, which he continued to do absent-mindedly. "It is. Especially in a huge city like this. You'd think with all the people here, it wouldn't be so bad, but...." He blinked for a moment and finally looked up at her. "I don't know what I'm saying, really. There's this feeling of being in a sea of people talking and going on with their lives. But you somehow still feel totally alone in the midst of it all."

He glanced at the books again. "I mean, I do, at least." Maybe it was a normal New York thing. Then again, he had grown up in the city, and had never felt as dwarfed by it as he did now, since Lenore's death.

"Sorry, I don't mean to be so much of a downer. New York is great." He gave Jane a small smile. "Just a little overcrowded sometimes."

[JANE EYRE]

Jane nodded. New York was great but it was terribly lonely. "Any large city is lonely when you haven't anyone special in it," Jane gave a sad chuckle and brushed an imaginary hair from her forehead. "I think you and I are very alike, Chase. I can feel it, I just don't know how exactly beyond the fact that we're both lonely," Jane didn't attempt to censor herself while she talked because it freeing, Jane found. She hadn't had an opportunity to talk freely in what seemed like months. Everything was bottling up in her. It wasn't a surprise that she had broken down in tears at the museum and it wouldn't be that much of a surprise if she went home and cried helplessly.

She missed Edward terribly sometimes. And Adele. And Mrs. Fairfax. And sitting here, talking with Chase, made that ache go away, just a little. Just enough for Jane to focus on the here and now, rather than the past.

"Sorry, must have sounded like a loon," Jane pressed a hand against her cheek in embarassment when she thought over what she had just said to Chase. "Sorry,"

[chase]

A bit somberly, Chase shook his head. Jane's words had really registered with him. Coming from some stranger he hadn't been talking to for several minutes, her comments may have been odd, but in the present context, they were normal. Not just normal, but touching. It was nice to know he wasn't alone in feeling alone.

"No, not at all." He gave Jane a small smile. "You're right, maybe more so than you could know." Now that he'd lost Lenore, he really did not have anyone in particular nearby- or at all. There was his family, and Lenore's, who treated him like a son-in-law, but they were little help. They didn't seem to understand why Chase was still hurting over the loss. Even Chase didn't understand it.

"I think maybe we handle being lonely the same way. I mean, some people go out and party, and some people go to the library." He chuckled softly. "Or maybe it's what's making us lonely that's the problem...."

He wasn't sure if he should bring this up now, especially since he had been trying to avoid thinking about it, unsuccessfully. But maybe talking would help both of them.


[ooc: Sorry for the late reply. It's been a really bad week.]

[JANE EYRE]

"The reasons for our loneliness..." Jane copied and trailed. The reason for her loneliness was complicated. Jane couldn't share it with Chase without sharing everything about her life. Her whole story. Jane thought back briefly to her childhood, spent behind books and in the red room, then to her teen years locked inside a filthy school then being put in charge of her classmates. Then, the past year, at Thornfield with Edward and Adele and Mrs. Fairfax. That was the only time Jane could remember not being lonely. And, even then, it ended in loneliness.

"The reasons for our loneliness are complex, undefinable even," Jane finished after realizing that she had left her sentence hanging. "And that sounded unneccessarily cryptic. What I meant to say is that the reason for my loneliness and your reason are probably uncomparable in our eyes, respectively,"