The battle of ANGST

[yolanda7h]

(for everyone!)

"Ladies and gentleman welcome one and all to this most amazing competition! It is the debate that will go down in Rewritten City history. This is the debate that will show us

WHO


HAS


THE MOST


ANGST!

That's right folks! Here we gather your favorite characters on Rewritten City, the characters you all know and love, to battle it out and find out who is angstier. You see them all standing behind these podiums here. Prepare yourselves for tears, yelling, shouting, and maybe the occasional black eyeliner. Heeeree we go!

To start off our contestants will state their initial cases and debate amongst themselves about who is has the most angst. The winners will receive Linkin Park's whole collection, and an unlimited supply of black apparel. Lets get started!"

Dally took a puff of smoke and said, "I don't have to prove a goddamn thing to you fuckers. All I know is if someone thinks they're more angsty than me, I'll punch them right in the fuckin jaw."

"Hehehheheh, that's Dally folks and he's mad at the world. Don't let his threats scare you away, contestants! Who thinks they can give him a run for his money?"

[majesticdemise]

"Alex can."

Alex took a look at Dally, then at himself. He was covered in dirt from sleeping on the streets. "I can't believe this guy thinks that he could be angstier than I am. He doesn't know what I went through, he doesn't know how I feel."

"There's part of Alex's angst. Bring it on."

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

"Then again it isn't just the lower classes who have a tough time of it. Take Richard Plantagenet for instance..."

Richard looked from Dallas to Alex and back again, a skeptical eyebrow raised. Dallas' cursing didn't faze him, nor did Alex's mention of 'what he'd been through' or 'how he felt'.

Now Richard came to think of it, he himself had a fair bit of angst, surely enough to rival these two.

"Let's see...my father died the same year I was born, my mother barely acknowledges my existence, my brothers take delight in tormenting me, I only have the use of one arm, I got shot in the leg during the Gulf War, I killed the husband and father of one of my only friends...oh, and I'm plotting to murder my brother. Because I can."

"Okay...I'm scared now, people! But are you scared? Who can challenge Rickyb-"

(Richard glowers in his direction)

"...I mean Richard. Heh."

[ricketts]

(Hm. Think I'll have Hyde take this one. Henry ain't so good at the debating XD)


'What's this? Does a new challenger appear?'

'New challenger's going t' mop th' floor wid' these bitches.' Hyde said with undisguised delight.

'Is that so, Mister Jekyll?'

'Oi!' His eyes glowed with mute aggitation. 'That's Mister Hyde, boyo.'

'Duly noted, take it away!'

A new, unspeakable glory flushed Hyde's face. Without an instant of hesitation, he dived into a cycle of slow revolving years. 'Aye. I wouldn't call em' angsty, more like fine memories. Me, I'm what some call .. spread too thin, like. See, I'm a lot more honest then Henry Jekyll - he lies right to people's faces. I'll tells you all how it really were. Started when he were just a bab', cryin' all waa-waa likes. He left fer dead y'see, probably bein' the bastard-child of some jezebel. He found, and sent to jubbly little orphanage. I weren't rounds' yet, see - excuse th' borin' details won't you. This big bitch run the place, yeah? She beat Henry three shades blue all de' time - and 'cause he the biggest nancy ever t' live he put up with it! That was when I comes along, when Henry turn eighteen. You followin', all o' you?'

He bared an unpleasant, full-toothed grin. Fierce delight shining in his eyes, clearly pleased to be telling the story from his perspective. 'There this twat, Archie, he name. Bully Henry since they were babbies, and one day - twat tries it on with Henry and whee! Out I comes! Doin' what nancy-boy Jekyll didn't have th' grapes to, I kill th' twat! Let the fun times roll! O' course, society just needs to be lil' bitches 'bout it and lock Henry up in the crazy-house for three year. And just recent, I kill that Hank fucka'! Best part, those police are tryin' to get Henry busted for it!'

Triumphantly he ended his speech, pushing his hands into his hips and lifting his head with some kind of nobility, 'So y'see - no Mam, no Da, dragged up in an orphanage, killed a bloke, declared insane, ran away, now bein' suspected o' murderin' his best mate. I been makin' Henry Jekyll's life a livin' nightmare, fellas.. And I been lovin' every minute of it.'

[majesticdemise]

"That was the intruiging story, Mr. Hyde"

"But it's not anything like mine." Alexander's eyes flashed with pain as he began to remember his brutal past. "And I wouldn't call your story angst, I'd call in insanity."

"I was born happy, but then when I was eleven, we moved out to NYC. And we worked for some rich family that didn't give a damn and paid us the lowest amount of money possible. Then, my sister ran away with the families son, and they still haven't been found, and I was sent away to get groceries." He paused, gulping down the thick mucus ball that had taken lodging in the middle of his throat.

"And then when I got back, the mansion was aflame. My parents trapped inside. I ran away, and had to live on the streets, I was only seventeen. It's been two years since then. And I'm still poor, and living on the streets. And I need help!"

"Aww.... so sad.... I almost cried, again.

[hamlet]

Harry rolled his eyes at all of the stories. One was just a teenager trying to be tough, Alexander's was sad-granted-but nothing as warped as his own, Richard had a few injuries sure but at least he was making something of himself, and Hyde was just insane. He never liked that guy anyway.

"We have 'the Prince' himself, Harry Chandler! How does he--"

"Don't call me that." Harry snapped. "I am no prince. I hate when people call me that."

"Well then why don't you explain?"

Harry sighed. "I'm not a prince because a prince is someone who knows where he is and where he's going, and unfortunately I don't. And frankly, I'd really love to join you guys' pity parties, but I'd have to say that I'm a lot more angsty. My father died. How? He was murdered. By who? My uncle. How did I find out? A ghost. You heard right, a ghost. Yes, yes, I know call me insane. Do it. I am absolutely insane, you better believe it. But my uncle did murder my father. And what does he do after that? He takes over his company, a company that was suppose to be mine and guess what? Mommy dearest is perfectly okay with it. Hell, for all I know those two are in cahoots, almost borderline incest. See how warped that is?

And me? Well now I have to plot to try to kill my own uncle and its invaded my life, alright? So yes, I'm pretty angsty. My life is one big dramatic internal monologue, thats how angsty I am. And the one person I love, Ophelia....I'll lose. Because I have to keep up an act, or is it an act? Hell, I don't even know anymore. Maybe I'll die before I kill my uncle, who knows. Maybe I'll kill a few extra people on accident. Who cares? To be or not to be and all that jazz."

"Well, that was--"

"And even when I try to be with Ophelia, her overprotective brother is trying to keep her away from me. I mean, what is that? I can't even get a break. Not one break."

"....."

"Sorry. I'm done now."

[ricketts]

Hyde fell silent, regarding Alexander with steadfast, cruel eyes. Unimpressed at the idea of being stamped insane. Then, he rose in an attitude of attention, as though he had been called by some one at a distance, and with a grave, preoccupied air he moved a little toward him, walking on tip-toe as though he feared to interrupt the sound of some soft invisible music.

'Now boy need help? He need the paper money, a roof over he head. Yeah?' He said, in a sort of slow, monotonous tone. 'Does he have to swallow pills all th' time to make sure he don't kill a fucka'? I had to sit in Henry's head doin' diddly-shit for three year.'Least your Mammy mighta gave two 'bout you, you want to try havin' her leave you for dead while your head's still soft.'

'The sadness just keeps coming.'

Abruptly, he laughed loudly at the conclusion of Harry's utterly miserably tale, 'Ghost story? And he t'ink I'm a loon!'

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

Well. This was certainly interesting. This Mister Hyde fellow sounded like a nutcase, and Richard hadn't the slightest idea just how bad Harry Chandler's problems were. Not that he cared, of course.

Wait a minute...Harry's father killed his brother to take over Hamlet Enterprises? That sounded oddly familiar. Hmm. He'd need to have a word with this uncle of Chandler's.

"You can't be serious about the ghost thing," Richard said to Chandler, eyebrows raised. "Ghosts don't exist. When people die, they die and they don't come back to haunt you!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you..."

"Did I ask your opinion?"

"No...sorry..."

Richard then turned to Hyde, his tone somewhat mocking.

"You have to take pills to make sure you don't kill someone, eh? At least you haven't been in pain all your life, and not just physically! Emotional trauma can be just as crippling...in fact in can be murder."