Good Things Comes In Pairs (Claudius) -FIN-

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

"Every story's at least something to tell,"

Claudius nodded again, taking another sip from his glass as though that would make him appear more at ease even as he fed Osric a pack of lies. Words, words, words. Lies, the lot of them.

"Fair enough,"

"So, I read your brother used to be head of your business. Well, Hamlet Enterprises, that makes sense. But he died. Um, sorry about that,"

It was all Claudius could do to stop himself from flinching as Osric mentioned his brother's death. He had killed his brother. And that was why he was here. Drinking. The drinking had got worse after... He was essentially killing himself. And Hector had tried to help him. Yet here he sat, blatantly defying him... Did he want to die? Did he think killing himself would be repayment for his crime?

"No problem,"

An airy, offhand reply. It hadn't been a problem. It had been no trouble at all to slip the drug into his drink, to watch him fall to the ground, to watch him die. The smile he'd been faking all evening had become genuine as he saw his brother's final breath leave him...

"Can you tell me anything about him when you were kids, or how you got into working in the same line with your brother?"

Which was the easier option - and why was this so difficult? Claudius lied about his relationship with Hamlet all the time - to people at the office, to the press - why was it so difficult to lie to Osric? Was it because he was writing a book? He was just like a member of the paparazzi - the book would just turn out to be some more pro-Claudius propaganda... Why was the content of this particular book such a big deal?

"I doubt anything I could tell you about us as kids would be any good - I'd just look back at it through rose tinted glasses, you know? But as for your question about work, well, Hamlet founded the business - that's obvious, isn't it? Anyway, he happened to have started the business up not long after I left college - he offered me a job and I took it."

Claudius shrugged again.

"I guess you could say that was favouritism or something like that, but Hamlet and I were pretty close."

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Claudius didn't seem upset about Osric's less-than-graceful comment about Claudius' dead brother, which was good, but his next answers frustrated Osric all over again. He was just so vague, and Osric had no doubts that Claudius was skimming over a good bit of... well, everything really. He thought, he could simply just tell. Well, he was pretty sure he could tell. Then again, perhaps it was simply a touchy subject after all, Claudius' brother. Osric didn't really know how Mister Hamlet died, but maybe it was more traumatic than Osric expected. He'd leave it for now, he decided.

"I guess you could say that was favouritism or something like that, but Hamlet and I were pretty close," Claudius finished, sounding offhanded. Osric bit his lip and stopped himself - some restraint was possible, yes, sometimes - from asking more. He didn't really want to pry all that much. Well, he did, but in a way, he didn't.

To be brutally honest with himself, Osric had no idea why he wanted to write a book about Claudius, of all people. Sure, he was a wealthy and successful businessman, smart, and interesting, but really, wasn't a book just a bit over the top? Osric wasn't quite ready to fully admit to himself that really, he mostly just wanted to be Claudius' friend, and that this was his own strange little way of doing it. He recognized it as what it was grudingly, sure, he just wasn't exactly thinking about it directly like that yet. After all, when he decided he wanted to be Wilson's friend he'd pretty much stalked the guy for a month before Hank assured him that no, Wilson did not hate him, yes they were friends now, and yes, he should stop being a creep.

Osric looked around the bar, curious as to what the other people were doing. He noticed the pair he had pointed out to Claudius before - the old guy with that woman - were done now. The lady was gone, but the guy was still there. Osric wondered how people did that - didn't care anymore.

Speaking of pairs: "You got a wife? Or, a girlfriend, or kids or anything?" Osric asked. He knew Claudius had a nephew already, but that was about it.

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

As Osric bit his lip, Claudius got the impression he was holding back a host of fresh inquiries, and he couldn't really blame him. He was being vague, very vague, saying too little to spin into a few decent sized paragraphs. He guessed he would need more time to consider just how much he wanted to divulge to Osric, although that wasn't exactly helping the younger man at present.

As he thought about this Claudius returned his attention to what was left of his drink; having finished it off he ordered another - when the bartender handed it to him he returned his attention to Osric to see the younger man looking around the bar. He took the first sip from his new drink as Osric looked back at him and spoke again.

"You got a wife? Or, a girlfriend, or kids or anything?"

Claudius laughed at the notion.

"There's my nephew Harry, I'm sure you've read about him in the papers," Claudius' look indicated he wasn't amused by this, despite his laughter. "Speaking of the papers, they keep insinuating there's something going on between myself and my business partner, Harry's mother - ridiculous of course. Though not as ridiculous as what they're saying about myself and Hector..." He shook his head. "I mean, is there no low to which the media won't stoop for their so called news?"

Well, at least there was some gossip to make the book more interesting than it was at present.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Claudius laughed and said, "There's my nephew Harry, I'm sure you've read about him in the papers." The older man's face grew a bit sour as he talked of his nephew; Osric supposed they didn't have a great relationship, then. "Speaking of the papers, they keep insinuating there's something going on between myself and my business partner, Harry's mother - ridiculous of course." Osric nodded, because if the papers were anything, they were outlines of fact. There would be whole articles made up almost completely by assumption, built around a single fact blown into over proportion.

"Though not as ridiculous as what they're saying about myself and Hector," Claudius continued, shaking his head. "I mean, is there no low to which the media won't stoop for their so called news?" It took a second for Osric to remember that article. He'd sort of put it off as pointless tabloid immediately, and while even tabloids are based on at least some small, twisted fact, he'd put it off as irrelevant quite quickly. He didn't trust people who made a living off other people's lives without consulting them first.

"The newspapers can be pretty stupid sometimes," Osric admitted. Truthfully, he enjoyed reading the paper, but he was always careful not to consider anything they said as final, definite fact, namely when they were about someone else's personal life. "Besides, you're not into guys, are you?" Osric asked, and a second later, realized it probably sounded really rude. "Which would be fine," he added quickly, "I just don't think you are, right?" Osric had no problem with guys who liked guys or girls who liked girls or anyone who liked both, but he generally assumed people didn't. After all, there'd never been anyone gay where he'd lived in Utah, or at least, openly so.

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

"The newspapers can be pretty stupid sometimes."

Claudius nodded and took another sip from his new glass. He'd drink to that. Pretty stupid or worse than that. Granted, Claudius wasn't adverse to spreading rumours of his own about others and suchlike for his own personal gain - he ran a crooked business, after all - but he was a hypocrite in that he hated when the same was done to him.

"Besides, you're not into guys, are you?"

He almost laughed. Did Osric seriously have to ask that question? Were his preferences not immediately obvious? And weren't the papers stupid for assuming his relationship with Hector was anything but a strong friendship?

"Which would be fine...I just don't think you are, right?"

Claudius allowed himself a laugh at Osric's hurried attempt at damage control.

"No, I'm not," he replied, simply. "The New Year's Eve party, well..." He paused. Shrugged. "Hector was drunk."

Oh, the hypocrisy.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Claudius laughed at him, but it didn't really sound offended, so Osric stopped worrying he had assumed something he shouldn't have. "No, I'm not. The New Year's Eve party, well..." Claudius trailed off for a second, and Osric looked on curiously. He hadn't thought anything at all had happened at that party (he hadn't gone, his arm had been bothering him), that maybe the reported had just watched Claudius and Hector standing close from far away, saw something wrong.

"Hector was drunk."

"Oh?" Osric said, surprised. "Wait, then, something actually happened? I mean, you did kiss then? Wow." He blinked; well, maybe that reporter hadn't totally screwed up the fact, just got her theory very wrong. He paused, and knew he probably shouldn't ask, but he was curious. "Was it good?"

Osric was aware that some of the things he said were simply things men in general did not say, and he was pretty sure his dad still thought he was gay, but he wasn't, surely Claudius might understand that, kissing Hector and being straight still and all, so maybe he could get away with asking without the usual assumptions. The only reason he hadn't been brutally teased in high school was because he almost always had a girlfriend, and that he had a feeling that some of the weird things he said were put down to the drugs a lot of people started assuming he was on just because he was in a rock band. It wasn't like he hadn't ever wondered, what it would be like to kiss a guy. It just didn't appeal to him sexually at all.

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

As Osric reacted in surprise, Claudius couldn’t help but wish he hadn’t elaborated. Granted, three words weren’t exactly elaboration but considering how vague he was being, those three words had been rather impactful and informative as words go. He had expected Osric to be surprised, it was true, but – even though he should have expected it – he really didn’t want Osric to elaborate.

”Was it good?”

Had this been anyone else he was discussing this particular matter with, Claudius would have mumbled something and swiftly moved the conversation onward. But Osric’s enthusiasm – and the very fact he’d asked the question – meant that instead the CEO spluttered with laughter at the very idea, rather than attempting to avoid the topic further.

“I think I was too surprised it was happening to consider that,” Claudius said, sounding surprisingly confident for someone who, moments before the kiss has happened, had been cowering away from Hector. Then again, Hector had looked like he was going to hit him.

Having said this Claudius returned his attention momentarily to his drink, as though to steel himself for further awkward questioning, before reasoning he could move the conversation along himself.

“That party aside,” he said with a laugh. “What else do you want to know?”

ooc: I’m so so sorry this took so long! /Nessiefail

[OSRIC YOUNG]

OOC: It's fine! I've had Hair to focus on anyway.

Claudius laughed, sounding quite incredulously amused, and Osric simply had to laugh along with him, half in relief (he wouldn't have minded too much, but he really was sick of telling people just how straight he was), half because he always had to laugh when other people did, and half because the whole thing in general was funny (wait, was that three-halves?).

“I think I was too surprised it was happening to consider that,” Claudius said, sounding honest. Osric smiled while Claudius took a sip of his drink before continuing, “That party aside. What else do you want to know?”

Osric glanced down at his pages of notes. They really all seemed rather dull at the moment. He simply wasn't in the mood. He wondered if he'd ever be in the mood again. He did have somewhat (annoyingly) fluctuating peaks of interest. He closed his notebook with a quiet huff and flipped it over so Claudius couldn't see the cover.

"I'm good for now," he said brightly, though just a tad disappointed with himself. He looked at the bubbles in Claudius' drink curiously for a second and then said hesitantly, "I must admit, I do miss drinking so much." Osric didn't drink anymore because, at the core, he simply didn't want to risk stupidly trusting himself on something and failing because of it again, but it had been really, really hard to resist sometimes.

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

As Osric said he had no more questions to ask for the present, Claudius found he was somewhat relived - as good as it had been to get Osric off his back about the drinking, and as good as it felt to have the younger man help inflate his overly large ego, he would far rather concentrate on his drink - he had to answer questions and suchlike all day at work - he needed a respite.

"I must admit, I do miss drinking so much."

It was strange, Claudius reflected, how sorry that made him feel for Osric. Granted, he was technically meant to be in the same bota, but he wasn't. What would be the harm in his offering Osric one measly drink, just like he was having (or was this his second? Oh well, this would be his last for tonight...it should be, anyway).

"Are you sure I can't get you just one drink?" Claudius asked, with a friendly smile. He knew this was a bad idea, he knew it was wrong, yet he couldn't help it. Seeing Osric dejected like that didn't make sense.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

OOC: End with one more Claudius post, perhaps? Thanks for the awesomely fun thread!

"Are you sure I can't get you just one drink?" Claudius asked him, smiling. Osric frowned, and shook his head. He really, really wanted to say, Yes, One, Please, but it was, he knew, No. No no no. No.

"No," he said finally. Despite how much he wanted to, it wasn't worth it, he didn't think. After all, he'd been damn lucky they hadn't killed anyone that day. He made himself smile again at Claudius, "Thanks, but no. Remember, I gave you a list of excuses a few minutes ago," he chuckled, somewhat forced.

He decided to shrug the uncomfortable feeling he always go when he refused anyone anything off, and stood to put his guitar back over his shoulder. He smiled, genuine this time, and said, "Well, Claude. Can I call you Claude? Er, or Claudius. Anyway, I should probably get going, I gotta work in the morning." He motioned to Claudius' drink with his hand, his face reverting to a serious look for half a second while he added, "And don't drink too much!"

Osric usually hugged people to say hello and goodbye. Most of his friends hated but tolerated it. But he supposed Claudius might not appreciate the gesture and held off. Until next time, anyway. Instead, he beams and Claudius and waved , "Thanks, seeya!"

[CLAUDIUS CHANDLER]

As Osric said no, Claudius had to admit he wasn't surprised. In truth he was actually rather relieved - if Osric was this way normally, who knew what he'd be like after a few drinks? Because Claudius was well are he wouldn't have stopped at buying Osric just one. That wasn't the sort of guy he was.

He couldn't help rolling his eyes as Osric remind him of his list of excuses, although inwardly his reaction to the reminder as more somber. Yes, he had given him a list and it had been a scarily accurate one.

His mood was further lowered by Osric's reminder not to drink too much - why did he need to remind him again?- but the CEO smiled and gave a brief wave to the younger man as he departed.

Once he was certain Osric had left, Claudius drained his glass of what liquid was left and ordered another. So what if Osric had warned him off - if he was breaking the rules of rehab he was going to do it properly.