To Each Their Own (Richard) -FIN-

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

"Bless me father for I have sinned, it's been three days since my last confession."

"And what is it that you have done, my child?"

"I pushed my sister and I broke my mother's plate, and I knocked over a man's trash because he was speaking bad about my brother."

"Say three Hail Marys and four Holy Fathers and a prayer for me."

"Yes, father."

Lestrade didn't go go church often, but he was good at it. And by good, that means he was good at playing the perfect alter boy. Not that he was an alter boy anymore obviously, but he had been, and the twice-a-week communion and services he paid were just enough to prevent the neighbours from calling him a delinquent. He chose his confessions well, too; being cruel and violent was just a push, and going at it on Becket's couch while his dad was out was just a shove, and nothing was a sin unless Lestrade needed it to be to suit himself.

He was a manipulative little wanker, his sister spat at him one night, and Lestrade had hit her. He told the truth about that one on Sunday. Still, she'd been telling the truth, and he knew it. That was why it hurt.

These days, Lestrade wasn't particularly religious - really only prayed on holidays - but after all those years of saying innumerable prayers, they were so ingrained into his mind they were impossible to escape. He hadn't really felt the need to lie and cheat his way through the way of the faith since McCourt died, mostly since he'd scared himself too much to do anything wretched for ages afterwards, but he'd lost his sense of needing to be accepted by the church.

But he didn't hate them. He certainly didn't practice of believe half of the things preached, but he did retain somewhat of a strong spirituality, and so on a nice Sunday morning off, he decided he should go to church.

He'd not been since he moved he New York, due to having business mostly, but he knew that there was a church a few blocks away from his house; he was able to hear the hour-time bells from his house (or at least, they sounded like bells; he knew a lot of the churches had been changing to those ridiculous recordings). He wore a posh outfit, combed his hair: he looked nice.

He walked, because though he really did not know where he was going, he knew the direction, and didn't think it was so far. Still, ten minutes later when he still didn't see a church, he supposed he should probably ask someone where he was.

He spied a man who was dressed nice crossing the road to the street he was on, and supposed he'd ask him. "Excuse sir?" Lestrade asked, almost particularly bold for him. "Do you know where the church is?" Being who he was, he usually naturally assumed people were Catholic, but it did pass through his mind that the guy could be Jewish or Muslim or something. He hoped not.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

Why on earth was he going to church again? It wasn't as though God cared about someone like him, especially after what he'd done...and he had long since stopped caring for God's approval. And yet that meeting with Detective Aramis - although it had served to confirm that there was no ongoing investigation into Edward's murder and there never had been one - had forced all sorts of feelings to the surface.

Granted, the voice of his conscience had been plauging him since his grip on power had faltered, but this was different. This was something new...strange, and more alarming than the voice berating him. It wasn't a voice, as such, more a feeling. An emotion Richard had thought himself incapable of feeling.

Guilt.

That was how he felt, and he couldn't keep denying it or he would drive himself mad. If he wasn't already mad. He had been mad enough to murder Edward, to get rid of his brother to secure his grip on power, and for what? He had been mad enough to manipulate Anne, whose husband he had murdered, to marry him, and for what?

George's shaking hands, mother's hand in his, the vision of Edward through the coffin's flowers, Anne reeling after her had struck her...guilty, guilty, guil-

"Excuse sir? Do you know where the church is?"

Richard was pulled back into reality from the cage of his rememberances, and it took him a few moments to register just what had been said and who had said it. His abrupt halt - it was as though he had been limping on auto-pilot, his mind adrift, in another realm entirely - was very out of place in the continued bustle about him, the people brushing past and jostling him as they went on their way. It would have been almost comical were it not for Plantagenet's grave contenance.

He regarded the man who had asked the question with barely disguised disagreeability - he was not in the correct frame of mind for such banality.

"I do," he replied, tersely, though as he was still coming to terms with reality, in a sense, he couldn't recall how best to explain the route from here and so did not offer it, instead seeming to wait for the other man to speak again.

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

Lestrade hadn't noticed it before, but the man seemed a tad out of it; he took a moment to answer. "I do," the man finally said, and Lestrade wondered if there was some deep train of thought he'd just horribly interrupted or if the guy was just quiet. He was pretty much the same height as Lestrade, though looked a good few years older. Worn.

"Well uh," Lestrade said, feeling strangely guilty for disrupting the man's thought process. For some reason the short answer he had received was somewhat intimidating. "Could you tell me? How to get there?"

Lestrade glanced around, wishing he could spy some sort of pointy tall building so he could at least appear less like a tourist, but he didn't see one. "Er, or, are you going too?" He wondered if there was a point in feeling sheepish about annoying a total stranger. Ugh, the complications that come with having a conscious.

OOC: Sorry for shortness^^'.

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[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

"Well uh...Could you tell me? How to get there?"

If he was in a relatively normal frame of mind of course he could - he would tell the man and be on his way. But as things were his frame of mind was far from normal and his recollection of the route would not be sufficient for this man, who clearly hadn't even a vague idea of the church's location.

He said nothing. He momentarilly wondered what this stranger thought of his attitude to his questions and his responses (or the lack thereof) before coming to the conlusion he didn't really care one way or the other - he had more important things on his mind.

"Er, or, are you going too?"

Richard nodded, attempting to add a degree of friendliness to his reply.

"I am, indeed. It isn't far from here, if you'd care to accompany me."

It was most unlike him to try and be helpful, but perhaps doing a good deed, however small, would go some way to alleviating some of his guilty feelings.





ooc: That's perfectly fine - you said all that needed to be said in that post, no need for superflous detail! (: Also this - 'Ugh, the complications that come with having a conscious.' - made me chuckle at the irony. If indeed irony is the correct word in this situation. /fail Nevermind.

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

OCC: <aughs> Ah, thanks XD.

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The older man nodded, and finally spoke: "I am, indeed. It isn't far from here, if you'd care to accompany me." The man seemed slightly distant still, but at least he was talking. Quite formally, too.

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be brilliant, thank you," Lestrade said, giving the guy a bright smile. It seemed a bit awkward if he was the one talking and doing he following and generally acting like a puppy, but the guy was so quiet, it seemed even more awkward to just walk behind in an eerie silence, like some kind of friendly stalker.

"Gregory Lestrade, nice to meet you," Lestrade introduced himself as he tagged alongside the man. He wondered if the other would even return the nicety. He didn't get the feeling that the guy wasn't polite, he did say 'I am indeed' after all, but he didn't really seem like he wanted to open himself up to Lestrade. There was no reason he should have felt the need to, but most people were a bit more wordy. Well, then again, the people whom he talked to who weren't part of a case were Peter and Fiona, so it was rather understandable where he had gotten the impression that people in New York enjoyed talking a lot.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

"Yeah. Yeah, that'd be brilliant, thank you,"

Richard did not return the man's overly cheerful smile but he did give a nod of acknowledgement at his words, as though to indicate the stranger's coming with him would not be a burden - although he got the impression it would be.

"Gregory Lestrade, nice to meet you,"

He had returned his attention to where he was walking but, as the man beside him spoke again, Richard turned his head to observe him. He seemed earnest both in his thanks and in his view that meeting Richard was 'nice' - unusual, to be certain, but a potentially welcome change if Richard could shake off these new, unwelcome feelings of guilt for the duration of the conversation. Unlikely.

"Richard Plantagenet," he replied, not yet in the right frame of mind to return Lestrade's sentiments. "Am I to presume from your enquiry that you have not been in this part of the city before?"

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

The man did not smile. He was a person of stony silence, as far as Lestrade could tell. It wasn't hostile, exactly, because he acknowledged Lestrade with nods, glances, and he wasn't ignoring him. He was, after all, the one who suggested Lestrade follow him. And yet; and yet.

"Richard Plantagenet. Am I to presume from your enquiry that you have not been in this part of the city before?" Richard asked formally.

Lestrade took a few longer strides forward before answering, so he wasn't talking to Richard's back. Instead, he stood at Richard's side, and spoke to the sidewalk; the effort had been a bit useless really.

"Er, no, I haven't been. I mean, well, I kind of have, but I haven't been to the church. I don't know where it is." He'd never taken patrol in the area, or arrested someone there. And those were pretty much the only two reasons he ever saw different parts of the city, so no, he hadn't. Despite living closer to this side of town than where he normally spent his day, he hadn't felt the need to look around since the night he'd arrived her, and Alfonso... Alfonso. Bittersweet memories could stay memories, as he preferred.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

As he had spoken Richard had begun to walk - as well as a man of his ailments could - once more, and so when Lestrade had to catch up so as to try and address him properly he attempted to keep to the other man's pace.

"Er, no, I haven't been. I mean, well, I kind of have, but I haven't been to the church. I don't know where it is."

Evidently not, Richard thought, or you wouldn't be asking me for directions. He did not say this, however, instead choosing to pose a query, however hypocritical.

"Do you attend church often?"

He wasn't sure why he had asked, since he was hardly the role model for perfect church attendance, yet he didn't want to seem too stand-offish no matter what thoughts were preying on him at present. He had to at least attempt to keep up what reputation he had left.

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

As they walked, Lestrade noticed how Richard walked with a limp. He briefly wondered what the story behind that was, before remembering it was absolutely none of his business and dismissing the fact as unimportant to know.

"Do you attend church often?" Richard asked, and the dulled, uninterested tone was still laced heavily in his voice. Perhaps the man was depressed.

"No, I don't," Lestrade answered truthfully, and while he did not feel guilty about it, there was some tone of admittance in his voice as he said so. "I don't really have the time anymore," he added, even though he did in a way, he just preferred not to to waste his precious Sundays off getting up early to listen to sermons.

"Do you?" He asked, partially interested, but mostly just feeling like it'd be rude not to return the question. And being in the presence of such a polite man, it seemed even worse than normal to be rude.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

"No, I don't. I don't really have the time anymore,"

Richard laughed. Not harshly, but it could easily be interpreted as such considering the impression he had been making on Lestrade thus far into their conversation.

"Does anyone these days?" he asked, smiling wryly as his laughter abated. He couldn't deny that was his excuse often enough - the lie he told. In reality he couldn't face going to church for the memories it brought back, both recent and from years past, reminding him of his wrongs and how he couldn't put them right.

"Do you?"

Richard laughed again, though in a less amused fashion. As far as he could recall, the last time he had been in church was when he had married Anne. Subsequent events had meant he no longer wanted to thank God for his blessings in that union and in his life - sometimes it felt as though God was punishing him fro his wrongs by having his marriage and his power fall to pieces around him. Then again, the former was his fault. But the latter had caused it. And that was Hector's fault...

"I am afraid I do not attend church as often as I used to," he replied. "I've been having a bit of a....how shall I put this?...a crisis of faith, leading to my subsequent lack of attendance."

He didn't believe and he doubted he ever could again.

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

Richard laughed and said, "Does anyone these days?" Lestrade usually liked when people laughed, it meant they were getting on. He couldn't help but feel slightly incriminated and Richard's though. It seemed less like offering an excuse and more like acknowledging that busy was nothing but an excuse.

"Do you?"

Richard laughed a second time at this, but it was different from the first. A self deprecating laugh, one amused at a ridiculous suggestion.

"I am afraid I do not attend church as often as I used to. I've been having a bit of a....how shall I put this?...a crisis of faith, leading to my subsequent lack of attendance," Richard said. He didn't sound too upset about it.

"Oh," Lestrade replied, not exactly sure how he was supposed to react to this. Had he and Richard not been random strangers who just happened to be going the same direction today - had they in fact been friends, who knew each other well - Lestrade might have asked, because it would have been only polite. But it seemed like it would be impolite to ask as things currently were or were not between them, and Lestrade truthfully didn't really care to know the details, so 'Oh,' was really all he had to give.

"So... This is a Catholic church we're going to, right? You don't look like a Jew." It was probably a stereotypical inquiry, but as much as Richard's words made him slightly uncomfortable with their vague openness, the silence was just as heavy. It occurred to him that it might not be a Catholic church because there were other religions besides Catholic and Jewish, obviously. He'd just failed to think of that when he'd spoken.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

Richard was not surprised at Lestrade's lack of a response - if he was perfectly honest he hoped this would signal and end to the conversation. He was content to walk on in silence, even if it did mean he would return to his thoughts. They were the reason he was going to church in the first place - he should concentrate on them...

"So... This is a Catholic church we're going to, right? You don't look like a Jew."

If Richard was irritated by the fresh inquiry he didn't show it as he turned to look at his companion, replying simply that he was not Jewish before going on to explain that this particular church to which they were headed was a Protestant one.


ooc: Sorry for the late reply! D:

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

Richard didn't have much of a reaction at first, and his answer was just about as monotonous in emotional vigor as every other word he'd uttered in the last five minutes. Then again, Lestrade had been rather rude so he couldn't really blame. He was quite relieved, to be truthful, when Richard revealed that he was not, in fact, Jewish. He also said that they were going to a Protestant church.

Well that was awkward.

Lestrade didn't say anything else, simply shrugged, and kept walking, trying not to let the fact that he was kind of confused both by the fact that he'd assumed they were going to a Catholic church automatically and that they were not, in fact, automatically going to a Catholic church. Well, Protestant was Christian, and Catholic was Christian, so he supposed it was good enough. If there was a god who actually cared whether or not the way Lestrade worshipped Him, well. Lestrade was pretty sure said god was no way in hell forgiving him after everything he'd done, and recognizing that this visit was really for his own personal benefit of mind, brushed of the unimportant detail and kept following Richard.

"So uh," Lestrade said, once again breaking the silence and once again trying not to sound like that annoying kid who stalks whoever they want to be their friend until they are either their friend or hate their guts. "We almost there, then?"

It was a fairly stupid question considering he could see the church now.

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

ooc: Sorry for the lateness of this post! This part of your last post 'once again breaking the silence and once again trying not to sound like that annoying kid who stalks whoever they want to be their friend until they are either their friend or hate their guts' made me chuckle!



As Lestrade shrugged, Richard momentarily wondered why then brushed the detail off as unimportant, unknowingly copying his companion. He was going to church in an attempt to benefit himself and alleviate some of his guilty feelings - this man had simply tagged along - indeed, Richard had offered to show him where to go.

And now the church was in sight. Lestrade commented on this fact in another attempt to break the silence - it was a foolish question considering the building was within their view, and Richard's reply didn't alleviate the awkwardness any;

"Indeed. We should be there in the next five minutes or so - the service begins at eleven."

[GREGORY LESTRADE]

OOC: Don't worry, that's totally fine. And, uh, yeah. That's basically me (and Osric) XD.

"Indeed. We should be there in the next five minutes or so - the service begins at eleven," Richard informed him, and Lestrade nodded, continuing to follow the man until they were soon in front of the church. It was a very nice looking building, though Lestrade noticed that, like many Protestant churches, looked a bit more like a house than a Catholic one. And honestly, that was probably a good thing; homeliness was comfortable, wasn't it?

"So, uh," Lestrade said, pausing for a second and watching a few people walk into building, dressed nicely in church appropriate wear. "Thanks for bringing me," Lestrade smiled genuinely. Even if that had possibly been the most awkward walk with a stranger that wasn't a criminal that he could remember, at least it hadn't been unpleasant, and Richard seemed like a kind enough, if not very quiet fellow.