April's Fool (Roger/Jehanne)

[JEHANNE MARIE D'ARC]

Jehanne studied her fingers for several minutes, listening to Roger speaking. At last she said, "When I come here, it is to hear my Saints, or celebrate Mass." She glanced up at him, impulsively reaching for his hands again. "I am sorry for you, so terribly sorry, that being here makes you think of all those you have lost. It is terrible, truly." She wanted to add, "Perhaps if you came to church more often, it would not be that way," but decided against it. Instead she said, "I shall pray for you, that you shall find peace. It is no easy thing to lose those you love."

"If I tell you something, will you promise not to speak of it?" The words flew from her lips before she could stop them. Why should I tell him of my Voices? And yet...and yet...I feel as if I should..... "It is not a bad thing only...only I shall have trouble if others were to learn of it." Jehanne bit her lip and twirled a loose thread around her finger. "Do you promise?" Mayhap her Saints could do for Roger what she could not seem to: give him peace. Perhaps they will watch over him as they do me.

[ROGER DAVIS]

I shall pray for you that you shall find peace. It is no easy thing to lose those you love.

Pray for me. She was going to pray for me. People said they'd pray for other people, but in reality I always had to wonder; when they got home and knelt beside their bed and folded their hands tight, what did they really pray for? Did they pray for all of the druggies and sex addicts to find peace inside of themselves? Or did they pray to God so it would never happen to them? I wanted to ask her what she thought, but I didn't want to be rude. The girl was nice enough, I suppose. A little Jesus-Heavy, but hey, that wasn't a bad thing, I thought silently. It wasn't a bad thing because we're all addicted to something. Some people are addicted to smack, addicted to the rush that the needle gave them. Some were addicted to the rush that skin on skin gave. Some were addicted to the feeling of euphoria that churchs and Jesus gave.

It could have been almost funny how people looked down on addicts. We're all addicted to something. It's just whether you can talk about it in proper company, and strangely? That's the thing about addictions; most addictions are not something you'd scream about in a crowded room. If I tell you something, will you promise not to speak of it? Her words made me look over at her, and I sat up a little at the fact that she didn't want me to tell anyone. Well, I thought silently. "Yeah, 'course, baby." I lifted my shoulder in a slight shrug, hearing the rain start up on the roof of the church once more. "We all got secrets. I just told you a couple of mine. It'd be a pretty dick move to tell yours, wouldn't it?" I asked, and then lifted my hand up, extending my pinkie infront of her. "Pinkie swear."