And It All Falls Down (Casual; Jane)

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward straightened his tie as best he could with his mangled hand. He gave one last yank to his black leather gloves, just to make sure they didn't slip and cause some unsuspecting diner to loose his appetite. It had happened once before, in the early days after the fire, and it wasn't pleasant. It wasn't that Edward felt bad for the diner, but rather that he hated attracting attention, having any number of eyes on him in such a garish manner. He had always been rather solitary, but now it was almost a required thing, if he wanted his privacy kept.

He glanced around the restaurant, Greenhouse 36, and gave a satisfied nod. The grounds reminded him of Thornfield's gardens, and he knew Jane would appreciate that, as would he. Jane. Admittedly, he had put off arranging this dinner with her, afraid of another row, knowing how badly they'd parted the last time. He couldn't stand leaving things on such ad terms. If things didn't work out, he at least didn't want to part ways with Jane still hating him for all eternity. And besides, there was still much he had to explain. The fire, Bertha, his scars...Edward sighed and looked at his watch and and then up at the entrance, watching for Jane to come through the doors.

[JANE EYRE]

Jane hadn't planned on running into Edward Rochester at all in New York, let alone arguing with him in public at a party of all things. It had been so embarassing and off-putting for Jane. She was never one to react strongly and there she was, snapping at him shamelessly. Looking back, Jane felt her face heat in indignation.

She could only hope this dinner went far better.

She was a little surprised when Edward chose a greenhouse based restaurant. Walking in, she was overwhelmed with memories of Thornfield's gardens and she was certain he had done that on purpose. None the less, it made her feel slightly more at ease if not comfortable entirely. She tugged on her smart tweed jacket, straightened her conservative skirt, and twiddled with her hair for a moment in the ladies' room before finally heading to the table where he was already seated.

Walking up to him, Jane was self-conscious, already questioning why. Why her? Why seek her out? Why lie? Why...

Jane shook her head and smiled faintly as she approached the table. She mumbled a shy greeting and sat down, nervously brushing her hair over her shoulder.

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

"I'm glad you decided to come. There's a lot you've...missed, Jane." Edward spoke softly and cautiously, not quite sure how to go about things, not wht to say or if it would make her get up and walk away. God, he hoped not. There was far too much too explain, and far too much riding on the hope that he could put the broken shards of his life back together.

"Is it alright if I order us a bottle of red wine?" He smiled as he appraised how well put out she was. She had deen very well for herself. Not just in terms of money...something or another had given more confidence in herself, brought a little happy colour to her cheeks.

"New York has done wonders for you, if I migt say so." He nodded approvingly at Jane, hoping to assure her that he wasn't there to just drag her back to Thornfield like some dashing hero or another. No, he just wanted to know she was okay and if maybe, just maybe, there was any sort of chance for them...

"So...where should I begin? It's not an easy stoy to tell..." He winced at himself. He wasn't used to not being able to say what he wanted. But he knew he had to be careful here. He was careless once before, and it nearly destroyed everything.

"I suppose," He began, "I ought to start with what you see." He pointed to the scars on his face. "The fire got my eyes, and my perephiral vision is shot, but a collapsed ceiling beam did the most damage - the scars...and other things..."

Edward sighed deeply as he descretely removed his left glove to show his badly mangled hand with the missing ring and index fingers, before quickly covering it again. "I was also burned down the rest of my left side down to my thigh, and I had a devil of a time learning how to walk with out constantly limping and wincing...but enough of my stupid self-pity...that's not what I came here to tell you. Anette...you already know she's dead...poor wretch, maybe it was for the best..." Edward sighed wistfully, pasuing to collect his thoughts, and let Jane collect hers.

[JANE EYRE]

Jane shifted quite a bit in her chair, trying to find a comfortable way to sit even as Edward started getting into his story. As he always had been, once Edward got started, there was no way of stopping him from speaking. He was the most verbose man Jane had ever met. She remembered, once upon a time, enjoying listening to him speak. They would walk around Thornfield's garden and she'd listen to him rhapsodize dragon flies and tell stories about trips to India or other exotic places. Now, sitting in the greenhouse, wasn't that much different really. Even though the circumstances were vastly different.

Jane didn't even have time to decline the bottle of wine. He was powering ahead with a rather singular attitude almost as if what he had to say needed to be said all at once. She was only 20 (having only recently celebrated her birthday) and was not quite aligned with American drinking laws to allow herself to actually imbibe. But, with him moving full steam ahead, Jane couldn't find a breath to object or correct him.

Instead, Jane let him talk. She let him explain. She heard him explain the burns, show his mangled hand, and she had to resist reaching over the table and taking it gently between her hands and caressing every scar. But she didn't, Jane kept her hands in her lap, twisting her napkin then smoothing it down again. Occasionally she would nod to let him know she was listening but otherwise waited until he was done before voicing her opinion.

Edward's wife was dead. There was no reason that they couldn't be together. Aside from the fact that he had, essentially, used her. He lied to her, manipulated her, made her fall in love with him.

Could she go back to that?

Luckily, before she had to answer, the waitress brought the wine and some water and took a moment to take their orders. It gave her a moment to gather her thoughts before answering him.

"I'm very sorry for all the hardships you've had to endure, Mr. Rochester."

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Anger quickly flashed over Edward's eyes. "Enough of your schoolgirl manners Jane. I was an unmitigated ass and I know it. What I did to you and Anette was completely monstrous. This is not the time to condescend like a polite servant girl. You were my employee once, but that hasn't been the case for a very long-time now. I consider you an equal, and you should consider me as such. We may be in public, but all your damned good manners and polite deference is setting my teeth on edge."

Sighing, he drained his glass of wine and poured himself another. No sense in wasting an expensive bottle, and as the drinking laws in this infernal country meant the bottle was his, he might as well calm his nerves accordingly. This was not the time nor the place for one of his moody rages.

"I wish I could say it was all a tragic accident Jane," He began once the anger had subsided, "But the poor wretch got worse after you left. She escaped one night, about six months later, and set the whole damn house on fire with a matchbook she found God knows where." Edward ran a hand over his face, the stress of sharing the burden exhausting him. "I managed to get everyone else out of the house, but Anette had climbed out of a window in the attic and was on the roof. I made my way up there to try and talk her down, but she jumped before I could reach her."

His voice trailed off and his gaze roamed over the other faces in the restaurant as he attempted to restrain the burning rage he had been hiding for so long. After a moment he returned fully alert, and rapidly tied up his story. "I was making my way back down the stair when the ceiling fell on me. I was lucky that they managed to pull me out alive." He said, quickly draining the second glass. He reached for the bottle again, but reconsidered, smiling weakly at Jane. "I've probably had enough for now. This a bad time to indulge myself. You've seen the messes I make when I indulge myself, Jane..."

[JANE EYRE]

Enough of your schoolgirl manners Jane. I was an unmitigated ass and I know it.

Jane lowered her head, picking at the edge of the table with her thumbnail. Her schoolgirl manners were all she had, really, having been one nearly all her life with little else to learn from. She hadn't realized that her school taught manners were so incorrect. And even if they were, who was to say that Jane just wasn't the type to get upset. It seemed like such a waste of energy and emotions. Jane liked to observe, she liked to learn, she didn't like to react.

Listening to Edward talk though, provoked a strong feeling of sympathy and even pity. As he spoke, she started to reach over the table to take his hand but restrained herself, pulling her hand into her lap.

No, she shouldn't be comforting him. No matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't do that. Trying to be inconspicuous, Jane reached up and wiped at the tears that had formed and were starting to cry.

Oh, she was angry. Just like when he was going to ship her off to Ireland or some other God forsaken country; well, he alluded to it. That crying fit had been in anger, and this one is no different.

"I would say that I'm sorry for all that's happened to you, Edward, but I can't. Because I'm not sorry." Jane leaned over the table, struggling to not cry. "I was 18. A child! And you...used me. Made me fall in love with you. And then you lied to me. You and Adele and Thornfield were the only good things about my life and you ruined it. You ruined everything!" she sat back, wiping her cheeks.

"And I'm not sorry that I ran because now I'm here and I'm happier than I had been with you."

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward stared at Jane for what seemed like an eternity before replying in a morose tone.

"I ruined your life Jane? Yes, perhaps I did. But don't forget what you did to me. I lied because I loved you and knew if I told you the truth, your sense of integrity wouldn't let you stay. I couldn't lose you, not like that. You made me happy again, after Lord knows how many years of trying to cope."

Edward let out a sigh, ran his hand over his eyes again, and slammed his hand on the table in a burst of anger, causing more than a few patrons to glance in their dirention.

"Damn it Jane, I know was an utter ass, believe me I do. But what in God's name would you have done? Would you have sat back and let such a perfect thing float by you because you were bound to another who hadn't been in her right mind for over ten years?" He took a deep breath and leaned back in his seat, his black eyes half shut in an attempt to calm his nerves. In one swift motion he leaned in, grabbed the wine bottle, and poured another glass.

"Here Jane, " he said quietly, offering Jane the glass, "I don't give a damn about this country's inferanl drinking age. Let's not get angry anymore. It always unsettled me that you cried when you were angry. I'm not going to drag you back with me. I'm not that stupid. You've established yourself here, and Lord knows I love your art as much as anyone. I'd love nothing more than to see you rise. If it wasn't innapropriate, I'd make a crack about showing up those wretched cousins of yours." He chuckled quietly as the waiter brought their food, and they began to eat in silence.

[JANE EYRE]

"I did nothing to you." Jane wiped her cheeks again and took a deep breath. "I did nothing. You are a selfish man, Edward Rochester. You lied to me to keep me with you. And you're right, if you had told the truth, I wouldn't have stayed. Or, at the very least, I would have never made the mistake of falling in love with you." Jane leaned back in her chair and covered her mouth with her hand, turning to look out the window at the garden.

How dare he try to make himself to be the victim. After all the elaborate lies and sickening games of cat and mouse.

Looking back at him, now with her emotions under control, she said calmly "I would have honored my commitments." It was as simple as that. It was selfish and stupid to do anything else. But then again, Edward never claimed to not be either of those two things. More than once he admitted to be a selfish, ill-tempered man but Jane had forgiven him for it.

She had even forgiven him for what had happened between them, she had let go and moved on. Or, she thought she had until he showed up. Jane took the glass of wine from him and sat it far away from herself, returning her hands to her lap and nodding with his small praise.

"Yes, you're right. Let's not fight anymore." She smoothed her napkin down and took a sip of water and tucked into her meal quietly.

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward silently bent his head forward and began eating his steak and baked potato, hoping that a little time would cool them both down enough that they could get down to business. His mind raced furiously as he decided what to say, and how to move the conversation forward.

In truth, he really had no idea where to take the situation. He openly planned things as far as telling Jane what happened at Thornfield, and telling everything was fixed and tidy with Anette's death - poor thing. Edward cringed at the thought that evena small part of him was stupid enough to believe that he could fix everything. Well, at least he could leave knowing Jane was well and gaining successful...and probably didn't hate him.

Seeing that Jane was still uneasy, he slowly reach under the table and took her hand, look straight into her eyes, and smiled a small, reassuring smile, trying to reassure her that she was in good company.

[JANE EYRE]

Jane didn't know what to do now. All that needed saying had been said and now they were left with a silence that was just a bit uncomfortable. But what could she say? She didn't talk about all that had happened since she came to New York since there was little to say. Why would she tell him about teaching or the inheritance, the meningitis or the lady lessons? He wouldn't be interested in those things, surely.

There wasn't anything else to be said. This was it for them, she thought. This was it. An awkward reunion, some happy memories, and they'd go their separate ways. That...that wouldn't be horrible, would it? It would be moving on, letting go, being her own person like she had been for two years.

But, then again, it would also be nice to have someone. She was 20, life was moving ahead faster than she had anticipated, and this was the result.

When he took her hand under the table, Jane knew she had a choice to make. Did she hold his hand and welcome him back or did she let go? She hesitated, then patted the back of his hand and carefully pulled her's free.

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward felt his hand being pusshed away - gently, but firmly. He shot Jane a a sad, tired look, as if to say "So this is it" without speaking a word. He sighed and pushed the remainder of his steak around his plate without much appetite, tring to hold his tongue, knowing full well what he was capable of saying in the face of rejection.

After a minute or so, he huffed exasperatedly, and drew his hands over his eyes while letting his fork clank loudly onto his plate. He hesitated for a moment, then decided it was just as well he speak his mind, for it seemed certain he would not speak to Jane again for a long time, if ever again.

"Is that it Jane?" He asked in a morose tone, as a man not prone to whining, but getting as close to it was possible for a person of his character and disposition. "You're just going reject me without saying a word about it? Oh I know I'm a right bastard and broke your heart and it's never going to be perfect or even ok, but you just push me away without saying a word about maybe being friends or trying again or even if you want to see my face. You don't say anyting at all for God's sake! You just open your mouth to whimper and damn me and than just leave me here not knowing where I stand, aside from burning in my own personal hell."

Edward took a deep breathe and laid his head in his hands and slowly raked his fingers back through his thick, dark hair, steadying himself after the outburst. He eyed the wine bottle apprehensively, waiting for the emotional fallout.

[JANE EYRE]

Jane was glad that Edward didn't fight her when she pushed his hand away. She didn't know what she would have done if he did. The feel of his hand on her's had been nice, welcome, familiar. It wouldn't have been horrible holding it. It would have been very nice, in fact, but Jane couldn't allow that.

"I'm not sure what you want me to say, Mr. Rochester." Jane said quietly, looking down at her plate. She pushed her food around with her fork, not feeling very hungry anymore. "I'd like to give you a second chance but I don't think I can. Too much has happened between us."

Jane shrugged and looked at him.

"I would like us to be friends though, like we were before all this. Remember when we could just talk about anything?" Jane smiled a little. "I'd like for us to be that way again. No romance, just friendship."

Jane hoped they could do that. It would be nice to be friends with him again. Talk about the universe and God, discuss the rights and wrongs of man kind. She hadn't had those kinds of discussions with anyone else.

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward smiled, "Thank you Jane," he said quietly, nodding his head slightly, "I'm glad I know where I stand with you now."

He poured them both a glass of wine and held his up to her in a toast. "I'm glad we feel the same in at least one respect. I don't know what I would do if you were out of my life completely. I believe I prize your friendship more than your love, bad as that sounds. You are really the only person that I can be myself around, blunt, sour, and cynical as I am. It doesn't affect you at all, you just send it right back it me. It's rather refreshong, being able to say what you want without offending anybody." He chuckled quietly to himself and sipped his wine.

"I still find it hard to believe that my wooing of Blanche was in the least realistic. How anyone - you of all people! - could believe we were a good match! She's such a mincing little fox, serves her right she married that MP. Running for Tory leadership now, go figure. She'll serve him well, the minx, but I couldn't stand the woman and her obsessive need to keep up her public image and agree with every bloody thing that every bloody person said."

Edward smiled whistfully as he finished his glass of wine. When the waiter came with the check he took out his credit card without a word. "Don't even think of complaining Jane," He said slyly. "I know you have money now, but it's only polite for the gentleman to pay, and that's that." When the waiter left with his credit card, he looked at her earnestly and spoke again.

"I know it's far too soon for this, but whenever you feel ready, I should liek very much for you to come visit us again. Adele speaks nonstop about your success, She's very proud of you, as is Mrs. Fairfax. Adele is become quite bright you know. She's off at a boarding school, but visits on weekends and holidays. She's apparantly a shining star int he academy choir. She's a budding Maria Callas no doubt." He let out a deep laugh before turning back to Jane. "'I hope you'll take up on that offer, whenever you're up to it Jane. We all should like to see you again."

[JANE EYRE]

Jane listened to Edward berate her for thinking that he and Blanche were together and she blushed slightly. Perhaps she had been silly then, but she was only 18, new to everything, and completely uneducated in regards to love.

"You know," Jane said lightly, wiping her fingers on her napkin. "Making fun of someone is far from a good idea when you're trying to get back into their good graces." She reached for her bag and pulled out a tip even though Edward said she didn't have to. Jane wasn't going to let him pay for all of it, especially since it wasn't a date. Jane had lived in the city long enough for some of her more simple views to change. Part of them being her submissive nature towards men and women who were above her. Jane didn't tolerate that anymore. People like Lady de Bourgh and Monte Cristo were helping her to find and define her own person. "And I think that you and Blanche are perfect for each other." Perfectly selfish and self-involved. They would be a matching pair.

Jane stood from her chair, leaning on it lightly to gather her things.

"I would visit," She started, situating her purse on her shoulder. "But I don't have any intention of going back to England. New York is my home now." Jane opened her purse and fished out a business card, taking a pen and writing on the back. "But I would love to hear from Adele, I miss her terribly. If you'd give her that, she and I can phone and email." Jane smiled and closed her purse again, extending the card.

[EDWARD ROCHESTER]

Edward looked despondently at the little slip of paper Jane had handed to him. He stared at her phone number, not even bothering to look up or comment when she placed down money for a tip.

"So. This it then." He muttered to himself, passing a melancholy gaze over his Jane, a face he hadn't seen in over a year, hoping to feel happy again, but only feeling the same sense of meaninglessness, being the same broken spirit he was after Anette...

No. Anette was gone. Jane had moved past him, past her life in England, or most of it. She wasn't his Jane anymore. She hadn't been for a long time. He should guessed that much. New York made a young girl grow up into an independent woman, no longer bound by some preordained class or station or a deprivation of wealth. Time had passed and changed the landscape but he was still stuck in place, as he had been for nearly 7 years.

Well. There was nothing he could do about it now but grin and bare it. So he smiled, a small and infinitely sad smile as he folded up the little piece paper and put it into his breast pocket.

"I'll be sure she gets it Jane." He said as softly and kindly as his disposition would allow "We all owe you so much." At least one of us has managed to cut through the thorns and continue living.

With that he stood up, bowed stiffly to Jane and he turned to take his coat off of his seat before leaving.