Blame it on the Rain (Athos, casual)

[eastsidesunset]

I really had to stop wandering around the city so much. Especially when the clouds were a stormy gray and I didn't bring an umbrella or or even a jacket. I sighed as the first drops started coming down and I was who-knows-where in the busy city of New York. I couldn't blame this on anyone but myself, though. And as the rain thickened quickly and threatened a storm, I ducked under the cover of a bus stop already crowded with people with real places to go who knew exactly where they were.

Before I had the chance to decide whether or not it was a good idea to take my chances and hopefully sneak unnoticed onto a bus that I didn't even know the destination of, it had pulled up next to its stop and I had no choice. Making myself as scarce as I could, I slipped into the middle of the throng of people and successfully escaped being kicked off for having no money for a ticket, all out of sheer luck. That, and the fact that everybody paid less attention to their surroundings in bad weather.

The bus drove on, and only five or ten minutes later did the realization fully sink into my stomach that I was completely lost. It was too much to hope that the bus would take me somewhere I recognised. So, at the next stop, I slipped out into the now-pouring rain and started walking down the cracked pavement with my heart pounding loudly.

What was I gonna do? I was so lost I could be on Mars for all I knew. All I knew how to do was keep walking, keep walking, just keep walking... Within minutes I was soaked to the bone, shivering violently.

What have I gotten myself into this time? I thought, panic starting to set in even I just kept on walking, head bowed to the rain like a slave to the king.

(Sorry for the awful post. D: Muse trouble.)

[athos]

The day had been uneventful, and Athos was on the edge of ripping his hair out from the tedium. Nothing of interest occurred that needed his attention; no robberies, assaults, not even a cat in a tree. New York hasn't been this calm ever since he'd come here, nearly a decade ago. Sure, there were such crimes like muggings, but he wasn't on duty to pick up the call. Therefore, he spent most of the day with paperwork. 

In a way, he was glad because he now had the bothersome paperwork out of the way, but that left him to do nothing at all. His partner and old friend, Javert, had picked up a call while Athos'd been on break, so that didn't help is boredom much. 

At this particular moment, he was driving home with a rush of relief spreading down his spine. It was nice to be home early for once and make himself a proper dinner. Perhaps he could pick up a bag of rice and make gumbo. He hasn't tasted it fir more than a long time. In fact, the last time he did, was well over a year ago. A year since his promotion to detective. 

He let his gentle smile break through the shield of tire and exhaustion as he thought about the heated shower he'd have when he was home in his apartment. It would feel so good in contrast to the icy cloud of rain that was hammering at the hood of his Tahoe. Thinking of the cool mist draping the city sent a shiver through his body. He gripped the steering wheel and squinted at the road ahead. 

For a street in New York, it was quite surprisingly unoccupied by vehicles or pedestrians of any sorts. Then again, his vision was already impaired as it is. He pressed on slowly, to assure himself from unexpectedly hitting anyone, and lightly pulled the breaks when he noticed a lone figure emerging from the rain. He could tell right away that it was a kid-- a hoodlum at that, you cab tell by looking at the hunch of his shoulders --and he was hardly fit for less-than-temperate weather like this. 

He pulled up in the parking spot closest to the kid and cut the engine after rolling down the windows. He shielded his eyes from the rain and waved at the kid. "This weather's no good for the clothes you're wearing," he called out, running a hand through his soaking hair. "Come and hitch a ride." He paused. "Or catch pneumonia. It's your choice."

[eastsidesunset]

There weren't too many cars around, so I did see the big dark one as it lumbered slowly in my direction. I never thought it'd stop, though, in this weather. Most people would want to get home as fast as possible. I never imagined the driver would roll down the window despite the windy rain and wave at me, offering me a ride. Or at least I thought he was talking to me. Why, though? Just to check, I glanced behind me but there wasn't anyone there, like there wasn't anyone there two minutes ago.

Still, I answered incredulously, "Me?" I raised my eyebrows until they must've disappeared above my soaking hair. For a moment, I grinned a half-grin and entertained the thought that maybe I'd wandered so far away from home that this wasn't New York City, but some friendly small town where everyone knew everyone and strangers offered rides to strangers.

But of course it wasn't. And even as I nodded gratefully and muttered a "thanks", climbing into the seat beside the guy, I wondered whether this was a smart idea. Maybe I was just getting out of a small bit of trouble and landing myself into a bigger one. Either way, too late now. And the guy had a point- I couldn't stay in the rain much longer.

I looked at the guy and said warily, "Uh, thanks. A lot." The truck was awfully clean and so new it still had that smell new cars had. So different from Darry's or Two-Bit's old hunks of metal that I didn't really know what to do with myself. Eventually, I just sat down, forgetting the seatbelt, and muttered, "Sorry I'm getting your seat wet."

[athos]

Athos offered a kind smile to the child and started the automobile again. Rolling up the window and turning up the heat, an instant rush of warmth hit him, and it was a nice feeling. The rain had brought cold with it, and he was sure the boy would be grateful for it. A rainy New York wasn't a warm or welcoming sight. 

He pulled down the street, and castes a sideways glance at his hitchhiker. The kid was perhaps a little too trusting to have taken a ride with strangers, but judging from what his rough attire suggested, Athos figured that he'd dealt with worse than generous strangers. He sighed. The things kids got into these days. 

"Uh, thanks. A lot." 

"You're welcome," the detective replied, in his casual tone. "Where to?" 

The kid couldn't have possibly be any older than fifteen. This late in the night, anyone could have mugged him or worse; after all, this was New York. Not only that, a more strict cop-- like Javert --could've had him arrested for loitering. 

 "Sorry I'm getting your seat wet."

"It's no problem," replied Athos, "I've had worse." When you work at the NYPD, there were huge risks of getting injured. There was the time not so long ago, Athos had engaged in a gunfight with an infamous gang that hung around downtown, resulting him getting shot in the shoulder. Water was no worse than blood. 

He looked down and noticed the boy hadn't put on his belt yet. "You should put that belt on," he instructed, "or I'll have to fine you." 

[eastsidesunset]

I let out a long breath as the heat warmed the whole car, but once again felt the strangeness of catching a ride from the owner of a car this nice. The heater in Two-Bit's car had long ago given out, along with pretty much all of the rest of it. But I didn't say anything, just sat and looked at the raindrops pouring onto the windshield of the car.

"Where to?"

I bit my lip, then muttered, "Windrixville." How far was I from home? I had no way of knowing, and by the unfamiliar street signs and buildings, I reckoned a five-minute ride just wasn't gonna cut it. I sighed, and hoped the guy wouldn't rethink his decision to give me a ride. He was awfully nice just for offering it in the first place though. He had to want to get home fast just as much as anyone did in this weather. The more I thought about it, the more puzzled I got.

"You should put that belt on or I'll have to fine you."

"Oh, right," I said automatically and reached to to put it on. Suddenly the second part of what the guy said registered in my head and had me stopping mid-move. Did he just say he'd have to fine me?!

With wide eyes, I let the seatbelt zip back to its holder and stared in shock at the guy. He was a cop. I couldn't figure out what to think or do as my ingrained fear of cops and logic fought for position in my head. Why was a cop offering me a ride? Was I in trouble for something? My heart pounded faster as the questions ran through my mind, and I pulled the seatbelt on and stared straight in front of me, trying not to panic. Relax, I told myself, he ain't got no reason to arrest you. Yet.

[athos]

"Windrixville."

Not exactly the model neighborhood, Athos would say. There was an abundance of crime in that part of New York, and statistics proved it to have the highest crime rate in the area. Take one look of this kid, and you could tell he's been through a large quantity of the ragtag, hustle-bustle in those parts. Of course, Athos wasn't the one to judge someone by their class. 

Though Athos never knew much how it was to grow up in a rough environment, but he's seen his share of the dangerous life these lower class kids endured. They had his sympathy, but he never expressed it to them. He knew that showing your feelings could get you in trouble. Youthful hoodlums didn't trust cops like Athos, despite the fact that their duty was to keep everyone safe. 

Windrixville was half of an hour away from Manhattan, and the weather conditions would make it forty five minutes along with the traffic. The drive home would be another half of an hour, but it was better to endure this time than let some kid die out in the rain. 

"You have a name, kid?" he asked, running a hand through his wet hair. A cigarette would feel nice right now, but he knew that as an officer, he was supposed to be a good influence for minors. To hell with that, the kid was probably smoking two packs each day. Athos was many things, but he wasn't a hypocrite. However, he also knew that had to cut back on consuming so many cigarettes. 

[eastsidesunset]

"You have a name, kid?"

I nodded stiffly, and said with my mouth barely moving, "Curtis." I wasn't about to tell a cop my first name and risk being thought a liar. I mean, yeah, I was real grateful he went to the trouble of giving me a ride but with these guys, who knew what the real motive was? Maybe they wanted to do some survey or something. Maybe he wanted answers. Maybe he thought I knew something about somebody who killed someone or robbed a bank. You could never tell.

Thinking about it though, I probably did know someone who they'd be looking for. Probably more than one person, even. It was hard not to. I cracked a wry smile at the thought, looking out the window at the dreary, wet weather to hide it. I wished desperately that the car would go faster- the cop was driving at a snail's pace and it was frustrating the hell out of me.

A few seconds of silence crept by before I couldn't stand much more of sitting in the front seat next to someone who I knew was a cop, just not wearing a uniform or driving a cruiser with lights. Somehow the fact that he didn't look the job made it even worse. "You ain't gotta go all the way to Windrixville," I said suddenly. "Just drop me at the library or something and I'll find my way back."

I was soaking wet already anyway. As long as I wasn't lost anymore, a little more rain never hurt anyone. Heck, I'd willingly run a marathon in the rain if it meant I could get out of that too-clean, too-shiny car and get back home before it really got dark. It was like being in a hospital on wheels.

[athos]

"Curtis."

It was a name about as common as the name Athos wasn't. It didn't seem to fit the kid well, but he didn't comment. If the kid wanted to keep his identity anyonmous, then let it be. He wasn't in any trouble so far and unless he was actually running away from some crime scene, there was no need to extract private information. Sighing, he realized the reason kids like Curtis never told the cops anything was because they had reason to. 

Cops like Javert were merciless and treated them like lowly criminals. For the most part, this was true, but you'd find the innocent child once in a while. It wasn't uncommon for Athos to have witnessed innocent kids get locked up. It was quite unfair and he hated the fact he couldn't do anything to solve this problem. 

"The name's Athos de la Fère, but you can even just call me Athos," he replied. He wasn't on duty, and there was no need for him to use that title he was tired of always being called. 'Detective' this, 'detective' that. It was like he was only a police officer and not a normal human being. 

"You ain't gotta go all the way to Windrixville. Just drop me at the library or something and I'll find my way back." 

Athos nearly rolled his eyes, but he refrained from doing so. "It's no problem for me," he said, "I don't have anything planned at all tonight." Aside from making a delicious meal and possibly get drunk by a roaring fire. 

There was another moment of silence, but to his surprise, he filled it with his own voice. "What exactly were you doing in the rain?" he intrigued, merely to make small talk. "Don't you have anyone to pick you up or at least give you money for a bus ticket?" He glanced back at the kid. 

Finally, giving in to his craving, he nodded at the glove compartment and said, "Can you open that up and fetch me the lighter in there?" At the same time, he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a cigarette from the pack. He stuck the stick into his mouth, and heard a voice in the back of his mind lecture himself about the dangers of smoking around kids. Athos ignored it. 

[eastsidesunset]

"The name's Athos de la Fère, but you can even just call me Athos,"

Long and French-sounding. Typical. I half-expected him to start talking in a snobby accent after that- it was unfair, but this was New York, for crying out loud. It was hard not to judge, especially since he was a cop. As long as I could get away with it I wouldn't be calling him either of the names today, though. I gave a small nod and kept staring at the busy windshield wipers. Which, incidentally, didn't squeak. At all. Funny thing to notice at a time like this, but there you go.

I shrugged when he said he didn't have anything planned tonight, and said hesitantly, "Hey, don't get me wrong. It ain't like I'm tryin' to be polite or anything. It's just..." I paused, then decided to go straight-out blunt because that's what these guys liked to hear, right? "Not a lot of cops give rides to random kids for no reason." Even I winced slightly at how that sounded, but how... nice he was acting was making me edgy and nervous like hell.

"What exactly were you doing in the rain? Don't you have anyone to pick you up or at least give you money for a bus ticket?

I held back a frustrated groan at the fact that he couldn't just keep the silence, the fact that he just had to ask a bunch of questions he'd only frown at the answer to. "I was walking," I said shortly, then sighed and admitted after a short pause, "I wander around the city a lot. Didn't think it'd start pouring like it did." I pretended not to hear the second question, and hoped that the answer to the first would be good enough for him to just leave it be.

Since I hadn't been going anywhere that needed money, like the movie house or something, I didn't bring any. Darry was real strict about only giving me money for a good reason, and exact change whenever possible. And since I didn't even have a quarter, much less a cell phone, I couldn't call Darry or Soda or one of the others to pick me up even if I knew where I was in the first place. Which I didn't. Absolutely idiotic on my part, but I wasn't gonna tell the pathetic, long-winded story to the cop over here.

"Can you open that up and fetch me the lighter in there?" he said out of nowhere, motioning towards the glove compartment. "Sure," I mumbled, and did what he asked. It was a glossy black lighter with some brand engraved on it in a pale gold, and I couldn't help but wonder how much a thing like that would cost. Probably half Darry's paycheck, at the least. Who'd spend that much on a lighter, for chrissakes?

I handed it to him, then pulled out my own pack of smokes and lit one, taking a long puff of it. If he himself was gonna smoke in his fancy car, I guessed that meant he wouldn't mind me doing the same. The cigarette was real calming, and I relaxed just a little. At least I was out of the rain. The ride would be over soon, and this particular cop- Athos?- didn't seem as bad as most. He asked too many questions but didn't have that attitude of superiority most cops treated us with. Maybe it was the smoke talking but I honestly started to believe that maybe he was just doing this outta the kindness of his heart. I grinned at the thought, and took another drag.

[athos]

"Hey, don't get me wrong. It ain't like I'm tryin' to be polite or anything. It's just... Not a lot of cops give rides to random kids for no reason."

"Unless they give reason to do so," Athos added to Curtis's sentence. Cops were given such bad reputations when it came to the people who live on the rough side. Often, when push came to shove, many incidents didn't work out as well than others. He found it extremely foolish that people were afraid of policemen and the police themselves treat people foolishly. 

Athos sucked in a lungful of smoke and blew out a smoke ring. The ring floated to the roof where it evaporated. "I don't think it's right the way kids go around fearing those who are only around to protect the law. Without law there is no order," he said, "and you might as well fear a plumber for doing his job as well or an electrician or a bartender." 

There was an uncomfortable pause. Athos wasn't too sure if he had explained that very good, but he didn't plan to go any further with that speech. The kid probably wasn't even listening to him rant, more to Athos himself than actually directed at Curtis. He felt the car fish-tail a little as he pulled the vehicle around a corner of the street. All the rain was creating a slide as big as the city and a mist was settling around solid objects. 

Finally, the silence was broke after Athos's previous statement. "I was walking. I wander around the city a lot. Didn't think it'd start pouring like it did," Curtis said, without entirely answering the question. Athos didn't press him any further. 

Athos watched the kid as he lit a cigarette for himself. Despite all those age laws on smoking, kids these days always managed to slip through and avoid getting caught. He found it a little dumb on the kid's part, but he supposed that Curtis wasn't a very thoughtful lad. Foresight was a very lacking quality these days, but Athos didn't comment on it. Athos himself had broken the public smoking law a few times himself.

"You from down South?" Athos asked, merely to keep a conversation going. He'd noticed the southern twang the kid had, and he knew that it definitely wasn't like any New York accent he'd ever heard of. 

[eastsidesunset]

"I don't think it's right the way kids go around fearing those who are only around to protect the law. Without law there is no order, and you might as well fear a plumber for doing his job as well or an electrician or a bartender."

That was what they all said. "You guys don't just 'protect' the law though, you pretty much are the law," I protested before I could stop myself, "And that's the thing- the uniform's all the power and there ain't nobody who's not afraid of people with too much power." I was reminded of a quote in some history textbook about kings and queens and dictators: Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Cops didn't have absolute power, but they had something that was pretty close. It was only natural for people- especially greasers like us- to hate them.

And, I realized, it was the indifferent coldness so many of them had. Probably part of the job description or something, but I remembered the two cops who'd come to tell us our parents were dead two years ago and I think that was when I really started hating them on a personal level. Before that, it was just an instinctual wariness. But the matching expressions on the faces of those two... I'd never forget it. Emotionless with a fake sort of pity, obviously not caring the least and just wanting the job over with. We were just a few more nameless kids to add to the list. It was their job, sure. But I knew I'd sooner live on the streets than willingly choose that as a career.

I breathed a deep breath of the smoke and blew it out again slowly. I could tell by the way the cop was looking at me that he wasn't that happy about it, but I could seriously care less. His latest question kinda caught me by surprise, though. "My parents were from Oklahoma," I said slowly, rubbing my arm, "Guess they way they talked rubbed off on me." I shrugged.

[athos]

"You guys don't just 'protect' the law though, you pretty much are the law, and that's the thing- the uniform's all the power and there ain't nobody who's not afraid of people with too much power."

Athos pondered this for a few seconds. The kid was wise, but there was still a note of naïveté to this statement. It was true that when Athos would wear his uniform or even glanced at it, he'd sense a rush coming over him. Except it was more of a thrill than power. He wasn't a police officer because he wished to be powerful, more out of the thrill of the job. He valued honor and the feeling he'd get when he knew that he made a right choice was a dose of ecstasy. 

The kid had seen too much bad in cops to see this. Kids still has much to learn, and even adults themselves were found with the same notions. Such notions were fallacies, well, for the most part. People blamed cops for their speeding tickets when it was the person him or herself who was driving the car.

"We aren't the law because the law is a precise code and even police officers break this code," replied Athos, and his mind flashing to the phrase, 'The mandatory sentence for first degree murder is life imprisonment or death'. He clenched his jaw, and ignored the thought. "We merely follow a code that permits us to ensure the safety and well-being of citizens. We hardly have any control or power over these people unless they're believed to have valuable or dangerous information."

There was an uneasy silence. Athos let out a stream of smoke through his nose and sighed. You can't change a person's nature and he wasn't about to waste his time to attempt. He was a cop, Curtis was a potential delinquent, and a link between them were automatically formed. Enemies. It was silly, if you think about it, but it'd been like that for so long.

"My parents were from Oklahoma. Guess they way they talked rubbed off on me." 

"I'm from the south myself - Louisiana, that is," he said, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. He wasn't sure why he kept with this small talk, but he didn't like the silence that much. It was far too uncomfortable. "I liked it there. It was really nice."

[eastsidesunset]

"We aren't the law because the law is a precise code and even police officers break this code. We merely follow a code that permits us to ensure the safety and well-being of citizens. We hardly have any control or power over these people unless they're believed to have valuable or dangerous information."

A long-winded explanation that all came down to one thing: That he thought I shouldn't be blaming cops for what they do to people because it's not their fault they broke the law. Of course it wasn't their fault, but the least they could do was resist acting like those people were nothing but stupid criminals without knowing why they did what they did. I shook my head, not saying anything for a while and just finishing my cigarette. I knew what I wanted to say, but it was near impossible to put it in words. I shrugged at his smalltalk and stayed quiet.

Finally, after maybe a full minute or two of silence, I stared ahead through the windshield wipers into the cold, wet cement of the road we were on and finally spoke. "Why do you do it?" I paused for a moment, rubbing absentmindedly at my head and frowning slightly. "The job, I mean. Why d'you put up with all the death? I mean, I know I'd never be able to stand it, always being the one that's called when you can't save anyone anymore. When it's all over." I sighed. "And don't start talkin' 'bout how it's worth it all to catch a criminal. It ain't."

I didn't know why I was asking him all this- I doubted he'd even wanna talk about it. But it was better than the tense silence or the pointless smalltalk. Not meeting his eyes, I kept looking out the window as if there would ever be anything more interesting out there than endless grey buildings and endless grey roads.

[athos]

"Why do you do it? The job, I mean. Why d'you put up with all the death? I mean, I know I'd never be able to stand it, always being the one that's called when you can't save anyone anymore. When it's all over. And don't start talkin' 'bout how it's worth it all to catch a criminal. It ain't."

The boy was speaking more truth than he knew it. Athos had often used the 'seeing a criminal in jail is worth it' reasoning for a long time. It was a mechanical response - almost automatic. That's what everyone else said, but he thought beyond that. It was satisfying to see a scumbag like Danvers Cane behind bars where they belong. Cane was a rapist and the epitome of creep. Athos had never felt so sure about his accusation, and his instinct was a good one. 

However, there were kids like Mike Daniels with the face of innocence and despair. Athos knew the kid wasn't guilty of the brutal murders he'd been accused of, but there wasn't enough time and everyone else had their mind set that he'd killed his own parents. The sweet-faced child was sent to juvenile and the last Athos had seen him was on that bus. That night, he'd drank himself drunk. It was days like those that made him hate justice system. 

He wasn't sure how he could explain it to the kid. He wasn't a weaver of words, nor did he speak much of those unfair cases. Plus, he felt like a hypocrite when he did speak of the law as if it should be obeyed without any reasoning. He sighed and pushed back the dark hair that'd fallen into his eyes. 

"You're young. Death is hard to deal with, but I've seen it so many times," he said, thinking of Anne. "You don't get used to it, but I do find comfort when I see the right man behind bars. I don't do what I do for that. I do it because people make mistakes. People get accused and far too many police officers out there are too eager to close a case. I do it for equitability. There aren't enough men of law truly devoted to their work as I am."

There was another silence, echoing the last period of pause. The atmosphere was grim and gloomy as the stormy weather out there. There was a crackle of life from the radio, but Athos ignored the call seeing as he was nowhere near the Bronx and four patrol cars were already on their way to the scene of a robbery. 

[eastsidesunset]

"You're young. Death is hard to deal with, but I've seen it so many times. You don't get used to it, but I do find comfort when I see the right man behind bars. I don't do what I do for that. I do it because people make mistakes. People get accused and far too many police officers out there are too eager to close a case. I do it for equitability. There aren't enough men of law truly devoted to their work as I am."

"Is that why so many of you guys can at least act like you've gotten used to it?" I said quietly, thinking about what he said and the images of the cops from two years ago, memories of their cold, indifferent pity forcing their way to the front of my mind and seeming to burn into my head, stronger than ever. I gritted my teeth. "Because they don't "care" 'bout their work? That's it?" It was damn near impossible to keep the blame out of my voice even though I didn't blame him for it, not really. He might've been one of the good ones, but at this very moment what he represented made being fair like trying to run backwards through quicksand.

The sudden static-filled noise of the radio made me jump as much as the seatbelt allowed. I caught drifts of something about a robbery, and was about to tune it out when a name popped up and I froze in my seat, hoping against hope I'd heard it wrong. But I knew it was him. Davy Stone used to be the fastest runners on the school track team and a straight A student to boot, and Coach would never stop talking about how he'd go farther than most people could even imagine.

I'd been intensely jealous of him since day one- he became my goal, the person I looked up to more than anyone else. But that all started to change when he started missing practices, then classes, then whole days of school for no reason. Even when he did bother coming he looked nothing at all like his old self. There were enough rumours about the whole deal to fill the ocean, but I'd hoped they were just that, rumours.

Now, I realized, as I looked unblinkingly at that radio even when there was nothing but silence coming from the other end, I had my proof. They wouldn't name anyone without being positive. My head ached and I shifted my gaze to outside the window again. And somehow... the world seemed just a little darker than even the grayness of a few minutes ago.