One gear: GO!

[charliesheen]

My name is Charlie Sheen, like the drug. I am the new high lord/warlock of Rewritten City and I’m on a quest to right every single wrong. The old rulers weren’t total frickin’ rockstars from Mars and I’m done pretending I’m not. I’m different. I have a different constitution. I have a different brain, a different heart. I got tiger blood, man, and Adonis DNA.

There are those that aren’t gonna be happy about my long overdue takeover. But that’s fine. Let them resent me. Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber. As a warning to you, don’t try to figure out why I’m here or even figure me out at all. You can’t. You have a normal brain. I don’t expect you to process me with a normal brain. I’d let you borrow my brain so that you could try to understand, but you’d be like “Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!” The terrestrial realm I’m from and where I rock has fitted my brain this way. I’m just riding with the flow on a mercurial surfboard in an ocean of winning.

I’m gonna go on a helluva run here. This run is gonna make Yols, Tichy, Tay, Alex, and Nessie look like droopy-eyed, armless children.

There’s a new sheriff in town and he’s got an army of assassins.

-Loving you violently,
Charlie “The Warlock” Sheen

[hamlet]

Um...tiger blood is nice and all but, can we please have our site back? Im not sure if the rules you have in place are...all that productive =\

[ricketts]

Charlie, please untie me

[charliesheen]

That’s just what I’m talking about. You don’t understand what my encounters with the third kind on a terrestrial plane beyond your understanding have willed me to do.

I’ve got a legion of Vatican assassins who’d agree that there is a serious lack of winning in the rules you had before I decided to cure this site with my brain, with my mind. I am here to put the WIN in “WINNING”. My rules are a study in Gnarlyisms.

And bro, you’re my sacrifice to the high priests of Mars. You’re either in my corner or you’re in the cave with the trolls.

This F-18 is gonna deploy my ordinance to the ground. Losers. I’m winning.

Buh-bye!

[renthead]

FINALLY some REAL LEADERSHIP up in this place.
Welcome, master Sheen. *bows respectfully*

[charliesheen]

Leadership. Leading 10 million times better than these previous “Thomas Jeffersons”, but that’s just on a cellular level. They’ve got brains aged the same as my boogers, that being 7 years.

Join together, us battle-tested bayonets, and we’ll shed some REAL tiger blood.

[ricketts]

[charliesheen]

[IRENE ADLER]

BUT I DONT WANT TO KILL TIGERS ... !!!