Smells Like Blasphemy |(Hamlet/Henry/Open)

[cuervo]

(I will be writing this in third person format.)

Home of the golden arch, the mucho grande M, the freakish mascot that was the fire-engine haired clown pedophile that gallavanted along the twisty slides and colourful plastic balls of the playplace preparing for his next attack...it was McDonald's. Or, as Mimi prefered to refer to it, McMierda.

One thing that Mimi found so detestable about this corporate hellhole was the cheap scent of deep fried food that would linger on her clothes and in her hair until she took a shower when she got home. But it was money, and she was scraping for it - right here at home sweet home for the time being.

She sat in the drive thru booth conversing with a customer, and trying her damndest not to release a great feline roar and hurl the phone right at her boss's face for allowing her to be shit on all day long.

"Can I help you?" she droned.

"Yeah...tell me, what's the spiciest thing on the menu?" the male voice on the line asked.

Mimi shrugged and held back a sigh. "I don't really know what you would consider spicy."

"Oh, I'm sure you know exactly what I would consider spicy." The sound of another chuckle. was faintly heard on the line after this intelligent statement.

The young woman bit her tongue, for it had all ready been a rough day, and things wouldn't be getting any better. "La madre que te parió..." she mumbled under her breath.


"Oh ho ho! You're one of those Mexican banditas, arencha? Shouldn't you be working at Taco Bell?" The laughter grew.

Mimi raised her eyebrows, unimpressed, though she knew the morons couldn't see her face right now.

"I was too hot for them" she said sarcastically.

"I told you that you knew just what was the spiciest thing at Mickie D's..." he said in a failed attempt to be sexy.

"Look, Don Juan wannabe, this is a pick up centre for food. If you want to take out the trash, I suggest you try Hooters."

"But that's all I'm trying to do baby, just pick up a little munchies! Omnomnomnomnomnom!" The laughter elevated even more, and was paired with animalistic growls and cat calls.

Mimi's face hardenned. "You know, at least the assholes who came before you were more creative. Do humanity a favour and don't ever reproduce, immigrate or go into law" And with that, she disconnected the phone entirely and stormed out of the booth and into the kitchen.

"Gillopoyas..."

(McMerida = spoof on the title McDonalds by combining it with the spanish word for shit or shit eater. La madre que te parió = motherfucker and gillopoyas = bastards! Mimi is having a rather colourful day! Btw, by no means do your posts have to be as long as this at all. My posts are going to be shorter from here on in, I just wanted a nice start. At this point, you can have your characters all ready working in the cash, kitchen or wherever or have them as a customer. Feel free to do anything you want.)

[hamlet]

Harry looked up at the customer while behind the register, bright bluish grey eyes staring intensely at the man.

"Yeah, I want a...uh....uhm...wait. Wait a sec. "

Harry tilted his head at him. His brow furrowed dramatically, making Harry look like some angry animal, ready to pounce. What is wrong with this sorry excuse for a man? The customer opened his mouth again and Harry softened his expression in order to put on a show. He always needed to put on a show.

"Okay I think I got it. Oh. Nevermind I don't want that...hold on."

Okay. That did it.

Suddenly Harry broke out in a hearty, loud laughter. Eyes wide. Everyone looked at him as if he was crazy. Understandably.

"Hahaha...i'm sorry. It's just, well, marvelous to have so many choices. Mm hm. Choices, choices, choices. What to choose? This or that? That or this? Number one, big mac with special sauce, large fry, medium fry, or our chicken selections grilled to..." he leaned over the counter. "...absolute...perfection." He leaned back. "Oh, the marvelous choices! Take your time, good man! Take your time! Look at the menu...haha, I mean look at it all day. As many times as you come to this place, its not like the menu ever changes. Ha! Haha. Well, we all have to make a choice some day..." He paused his expression dropping into painful melancholy. "...don't we?"

"Uhm...are you...okay?" he asked.

"Fine! I'm perfectly fine! Cant you tell I'm fine!" He shouted behind him. "Hey, Henry! Don't you think I'm perfectly fine?!!!" He gave a wide, exaggerated smile back at the customer.

"Uh...." the customer said, looking pass Harry in order to see if another worker could possibly take his order...instead of this insane man standing in front of him.

(Mimi-- I hope you appreciate the eyebrow action )

[ricketts]

The first grand event of Henry's day was about to take fold. Meanwhile, the man himself was enjoying having a much less strict and severe time of it. Henry was an easy-going man, who liked everything about him to be comfortable and pretty, and was not inclined to take much trouble either with himself or others. He had been flipping burgers and churning shakes since the crack of dawn - it wasn't sweet work and it wasn't well paid work, but whatever. He got to work away his boots and pleasantly pass the time while making use of himself. Yes, pleasantly. Even somewhere as fried and frazzled as McDonalds, he was pleased as long as he was occupied.

Henry had no idea of authority, but made progress. At that moment he was tearing open a pack of buns with his back to the counter, when came a rather event introducing itself to the ordering desk. He turned away from his task and as he did moved his dark hair away from his brilliant eyes with some muddled motion. 'Whats happening up there?'

He slung himself just behind Harry and settled there. Patting his floury hands on his work apron, a puff of white bursting off him each time. 'Harry, what's all the noise about?'

[orla]

Oh God. He felt sick. Sick and ashamed. This stupid bloody hat and stupid bloody apron and oh God if all his old friends could see him now. He grimaced.

Well, at least he was fashionably late, right? Oh, shut up, Dorian told himself in a mental howl. This is so humiliating. I can't believe I'm so short for money that I have to...do this. Really, I should have just prostituted myself. At least being a prostitute can be glamorised. I don't think I've ever heard of anyone writing plays or poems or prose about a McDonald's cashier. Then again, I suppose working here I have a slightly lower chance of being horribly murdered.

He shut his mental muttering down and sloped into the main room of the restaurant, slinking behind the cash register he'd been directed to. His first day with a McJob. He'd never felt more disgusting. With a heavy sigh, he inspected his nails, trying to affect a bored but attractive air. After a moment, he turned to the two men standing beside him, at the next cash register on; "Excuse me. You don't happen to know if it's true that working here wrecks your skin, do you? I mean, I heard all the grease plays havoc with it. What do you two think? I'm Dorian, by the way. Dorian Gray."

[hamlet]

"Ah!" Harry said at Henry's presence. "Look here!" He put his hands on Henry's shoulders and stood back as if admiring his outfit. "Look, man!" He said to the customer. "It's my dear dear coworker Henry Jekyll." To the customer he whispered, "I really trust his judgment." He let Henry go and pushed him up to the register. "Nothing is wrong Henry, and nothing is wrong faithful customer. It's just...oh how do I say it....oh, uhm....oh nevermind. To be blunt, he'll do an EXCELLENT job taking your order. Admire his skill. Admire it." He patted him on the shoulder and then went over to Dorian who had asked a question. He also patted him on the shoulder.

"Dorian, Dorian, Dorian. You're nails are just... exquisite." He turned to leave and in a bass sing song voice repeated, "Exquuiissiiite!"

He walked away from the register, rubbing his forehead, breathing a sigh of relief. "People act like they don't know how to place an order around here, and I'm working with complete idiots." He mumbled to himself, glad he got out of that little annoying situation.He much rather to do something where he didn't have to interact with people. Looking up he saw Mimi mumbling too, something that sounded explicit. He didn't really care, he wasn't taking the window.

"I'm taking Henry's station, Mimi. Henry's got the register so you're stuck with the drive thru."

[apolloashtonjones]

His first ever modeling job, and what happens? Some bum sneaks in the dressing area and steals his clothes. That wouldn't be so bad, you'd think; you're modeling, borrow some clothes. The sad part....it was an underwear modeling job. Not to mention that the loser who designed the show was on a total acid trip. So his modeling "outfit" consisted on a pair of black briefs with the brand "diesel" on the waistband, a cop hat, some ugly knee-high white and black socks, and converse that were HIGH (mid-calf high to be exact) tops. His one saving grace was the beige trenchcoat some old lady gave to him.

Two busses, a subway, and quite a bit of walking later found him in front of the mecca of food posioning...McDonalds. Apollo ducked behind a shrubery, and undid his trench coat; re-positioning, and fastening it back since he was about to go indoors with other people. As he entred the door, an old man walked out. Giving Apollo a once over, he shook dissapprovingly, and mumbled, "Only in New York." Apollo giggled slightly as he walked into the place. He always kept a $20 stuck in the waistband of his briefs, for reasons such as this.

As Apollo stood in line, he took notice of the music comming over the PA system; elevator music. Why did they never play anything interesting in fast-food joints? Didn't they know It'd make the patrons stay longer, and therefore eat (and pay) more? Obviously not, they couldn't all be as brilliant as he was. As he moved up in the line, the elevator music changed into something AWESOME, "Jumpin' Jack Flash" by The Stones. Apollo began nodding to the beat, and ever so subtley noticeably began to play the air guitar.

"Freakin' weird kid!" the guy standing behind him mumbled." Apollo whipped around, taking notice that the guy was roughly the same age as he was. "Dude, you're like my age. And if you keep stairing at me, I'll show you what's really going on underneath this trenchcoat....but I think you'd like that." Apollo said with a foxy wink, whipping back around.

"Freakin' weird kid!!" the guy mumbled again. Apollo ignored him, and continued rocking out as he waited in the unusally long line.

[ricketts]

The tumult in McDonalds was beginning to grow rapidly. Becoming a hurricane of sound that lashed at a sea of human beings that surged and eddied around the broad floor. Men and women, teenagers and children, aged folk and youngsters, all lost their identities to merge with that swirling tide. All apart of the sudden chaos that was the lunch hour rush.

Harry was quick the snatch away - crafty fox, and Henry looked on after him in some bemuddlement. 'W-what? You can't just leave me with that line? Harry!'

But the man was off busying, or not busying, himself elsewhere. Occasionally, in the roar of noise, there were shouts of 'What's the hold up?' 'I'm starving!' and 'Hurry it up!' and snatches of similar chants. Such heavy responsibilty had suddenly fallen on his shoulders, and it rattled him enough to utter some whimpering sound and hold his breath like breathing too hard would thicken the crowd. He understood very well the sly way in which Harry had left him, well, in the shit, and with the manner of a man desperate he turned to Dorian and spoke hurriedly,

'Look, Dorian - was it?' The young Irishman pleaded, 'We got the rush happening, I can't take the counter alone.' He shot one disapproving look down the way Harry had lumbered off. 'Could you spare me a pair of hands here?'

[cuervo]

(Apollo - KICK ASS SONG. <3 And LOL to Yolanda for the eyebrow action, I did in fact really enjoy that.)

Everything was happening much too fast. The line was increasing, the kitchen was even hotter than the drive-thru, what an awful idea it was to come here to seek sanctuary of all places, but anywhere was better than the cramped drive thru booth, listening to the most moronic voices rattle at her eardrums - more taxing and more excruciating then nails on a chalkboard.

And Harry's starting to ramble madly - AGAIN! Goddamn that boy was driving her to drink in the afternoon!

"No, Harry! I need a fucking break!" she exclaimed, shoving his shoulders with surprising strength and aggression before briskly walking over to Henry. Mimi's facial expression changed to one of deserpation.

"Henry, baby, please...you know how dreadful it is for a girl to work the drive thru here, could you switch with me?"

Her eyes flittered over to the man at the other cash, the rather handsome Dorian Gray. "Or you, Dorian...just...one of you...save me..."

[orla]

"Thank you," Dorian said to the rapidly retreating Harry, somewhat suspiciously. He had a feeling he was being made fun of, but it was of no consequence. Strange man.

Speaking of strange men, was that kid in the line wearing anything under the trenchcoat? He didn't bother hiding his (mildly intrigued) stare, then raised an eyebrow delicately, about to ask him outright when he stopped himself and told himself not to be so rude. He'd ask him when he drew close, not when he was still in the line. That was much more proper.

"Dorian, yes, you?" Dorian asked Henry, rather distractedly. After a moment, he turned to look at him and gave him an automatic charming smile. "Yes. Help. Of course. It is my job, apparently." He reached out a hand delicately and began starting up his register, nearly choking on the words 'can I take your order' but forcing them out anyway.

And all of a sudden, a rather delicious looking woman had appeared. How fast things happened here. Dorian gave her a considering glance; he'd always preferred the sweeter, more innocent look, but she definitely had a certain confident, sexy air about her. "Drive thru, my dear? What's so bad about it?"

[ricketts]

'Cheers, mate. Cheers.' The look of distress on Henry's face quietened for a moment or two as he watched Dorian snap to it, then came down rather sulky. He muttered something about Harry, something not awfully nice. Henry might have been an active young man, with all his senses about him - but he didn't perform well under pressure and that was just what Harry had served him. A big steaming plate of pressure topped off with a huge middle finger rising up to say howdy.

At first he chose not to hear Mimi, turning around her like she were a sharp corner but ignoring someone was never something he had been good at. He fetched, turning and facing her but not with the good influence he had meant. He became impatient, flustered under heavy work and his icey eyes flared at her.

'You think the drive-thru is bad, Mimi? We got something the size of the goddamn China wall waiting to be served!' He began as a harsh whisper, but his voice raised to something of a forward audio level. 'You tell Harry, wherever he's scuttled off to, that I'm not gonna take this shite from him again!'

He stopped and bowed his head, frowning as he pinched his the bridge of his nose, an ache entering just inside his forhead. Remember Henry - glad to be useful, glad to be here, glad to be moving. Be on top of things, and handle tasks cooly and calmly. He decided, when he got home he would take an extra pill.

There was a little delay before Henry raised his head again, some calm regained in his face and his eyes were pleasant to read once again. He touched Mimi's arm apologetically, 'Sorry I yelled at you, just buckling abit here. Someone here will swap with you, I'll handle Harry's mess. Alright?'

[cuervo]

Mimi tried to smile at Dorian, who had at the very least acknowledged her. He then harmlessly asked her what was so bad about working at the drive thru. While the poor young man was likely just curious, it rubbed the petite woman the wrong way.

"Well, for one thing, I hardly ever get to take a real serious order because nine out of ten times the customers are horny, ballless perverts who get off on harrassing the poor girl who works the drive-thru day in and day out from the comfort of their dumptruck with cheap pick up lines, pranks and racist comments about how I should be working at Taco Bell because I'm fucking "Mexican"! she howled, pausing only to take a deep breath.

"And I'm not even Mexican anyway!"

Well, that was useless. Perhaps Henry would help? But no...he reeled on her instead.

Mimi's eye twitched ever so slightly.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? The one boy I think I can trust to have my back shits on me when I offer him an easier job?! Some friend you are!" she howled, turning on her heel and preparing to storm out of the room and out of the McMierda permanently. No doubt some of the customers standing in the line shifted and looked nervous, contemplating leaving and trying some place else.

After a moment though, she stopped. Henry apologized. Mimi sighed, stubborn and not ready to accept the apology, since he hadn't really fixed her situation. But at this point, she didn't want any more arguing. The drive thru would have to be out of order due to circumstance.

"And what will talking to Harry acheive for you?" she said, trying to look him in the eyes. "He's miserable, and I don't want that misery to hurt you. Leave him be."

[apolloashtonjones]

(@mimi: I love that song! I've been listening to it all day)


Apollo continued jamming along as the line slowly moved. As he reached the middle of the line, the song ended. Apollo sighed, feeling quite forlorn now. Whatever would he do?! He'd gt a big mac and a coke, that's what he'd do. He'd eat his big mac, drink his coke, then decide what to do. Probably go home, that's what. Apollo quickly found happiness as the idiot behind him finally got mad enough and left. Apollo clapped happily, then continued waiting in the line.

Apollo wondered if he should possibly get a job at McDonalds. They workers were pretty enough. Apollo thought about making up a game untill to pass the time, but quickly decided against it. He didn't wanna be called the freakin' weird kid again. To be quite honest, he was getting bored. Really, what (legal) fun coud you have while waiting in an unusually long like at some fastfood joint.

Finally, it was Apollo's turn at the counter. "I can't tell you how glad I am to be here!" Apollo exclaimed as he made it up to the front of the counter. Apollo scanned over the menu, not really deciding on anything, just creating the illusion that we was being indecisive.

"What do you beautiful people suggest?" Apollo asked the workers behind the counter.

[hamlet]

Meanwhile...

Harry found himself a spot in the back, slapping together burgers and making sure the fries were salted. As he did this tedious work, he thought about a few things.

Life. To what purpose and aim do we hold on to such a trying existence?

Meat on bun. He lifted up the bun with the meat on it dramatically in the air, looking at it as he thought,

Is my fate now? Is this how I honor my father? Slapping meat onto a bun? Serving customers while my dear old uncle takes advantage of my family?

He lowered it. Added lettuce. Tomato.

Oh, GOD. I would say this place is the most sickening on earth, if it weren't for my own household taking the top prize. The smell is revolting. Wait...was that a quarter pounder with cheese?

He rechecked the order.

Ah yes. With cheese.

He paused, after slapping the slice on the bun.

Oh FUCK. Thoughts about cheese and burgers just ruined my FUCKING inner monologue. I can't even have that anymore.

Then he over heard Henry's little comment. Oh yes, his life was getting better and better. To snap off or not to snap off, that is the question.

"OH HENRY!" he shouted. "I DID HEAR THAT AND SINCE I TRUST YOUR JUDGMENT, I ALSO TRUST THAT YOU MEANT THAT IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE! OH I LOVE THAT WE HAVE SO MUCH TRUST IN OUR CO WORKERS!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Imbecile, " he mumbled harshly.

[ricketts]

There was something new in the air, he was now aware of. As he breathed in the musky, unpleasant aroma of dipped fries - he swore he could smell it just as strong. He glared only slightly over Mimi's shoulder, into the kitchen. It was a strange glare to wear, cold but with a difference. Eyes unblunk and a curled lip that lacked strength. Henry, who had been quick to learn his duties and to master the grill, the ice cream machine, the french frier, and no sooner being settled being tossed under the bus. He found the work easy and pleasant most times, but there was really something in Harry that irritated him. Angered him.

He drew back from that, flinching his eyes closed. Dangerous word that was to be thinking of, anger. Just switch with Mimi, do everyone a favour and take it easy. The drive-thru is nothing.

'You know what Mimi, I might just - ' There was a hollar from down the kitchen way and it made Henry turn so fast he almost fell. The Irishman at first frowned in some daze, then his cheeks flushed a maddened red some seconds. He tried mastering himself, telling him to ignore him - just ignore him, but he couldn't stop gritting his teeth together and hissing. 'He's trying to wind me up. Oi, you trying t'wind me up Harry? Well! I'm sure you can trust in the same way, that when I say you're a dick, I mean it in the nicest possible way!'

Henry was practically on the balls of his feet, ready to get down there should Harry say the wrong thing.

[orla]

"It's the price of being beautiful," Dorian said, waving a hand in the air. "If you were ugly, you'd daydream of having perverts drool over you. Take it as a compliment." Because he sure as hell wasn't moving, oh no. He'd only just gotten started here.

The half-naked customer was at his till, asking for suggestions. He gave him the usual dazzling smile and said, "Well, not the tea, it's just rotten. I would suggest-" He was briefly distracted by the shouting, and rolled his eyes, giving the customer a conspiratorial look. "I would suggest avoiding whatever my coworkers had for breakfast, because the way they're acting, I can only surmise that someone pissed in it. How about the chips? Well, 'fries', or whatever it is you Americans call them. I'm sure they're more or less safe. The milkshakes are nice, too."