The 2011 RC Oscars

[yolanda7g]

"So to further drag out this depressing note until the glass breaks, we're going to take this moment to remember all the crazy characters we've lost over the year. These folks had a short time with us and have either been inactive, dropped, or disappeared off the face of the earth. So this is for them. And also to hopin' my ass doesn't get dropped either. I like livin' and breathin' on RC thank you. Anyway, enjoy the video.

Also remembering:

Wesley "Frodo" Baines - Played by Radsos
Alice Ayers - Played by Alice/Tuna
Mimi Marquez - Played by Randi
Ira Fagin - Played by Nessie
Holden Caulfield - Played by Lyds

---

"Alright, your go, Cristo. What's up next, man?"

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Monte Cristo watched the video as it was presented, with no small amount of reverence in his demeanor. The montage reminded him of just how long characters like he and Faustus had stuck around, and how many new personalities had come into the fold. When Puck's images appeared, he smiled softly to himself. She had been his first friend on RC, and was a true sweetheart.

The video ended, he turned to Faustus and picked up the doctor's cue. "The next category will be a welcome change, Faustus- for the most eccentric character."

And the nominees for Most Quirky/Eccentric Character are...

SHERLOCK HOLMES

[to himself] 'Spit spot, Holmes.' He said vaguely from the bottom of his throat, craning his neck side-to-side to relieve the banging headache. And the hurt pride. 'Get in there, take no prisoners. Good lad.'

ICHABOD "IKE" CRANE

He tilted his head back and popped the fries into his mouth one by one, a soft mew like “mmmmmm” Resounding from his lips as he stepped back for a moment…he looked at the pair before pausing and looking at the half eaten burgers before frowning, “Hmmm…That was yours wasn’t it…”

JOHN "DOOLITTLE" MOREAU

"I should probably go and see to these scratches." Of course it was only partially an excuse, but he did curse himself silently for the fact that he didn't carry a first aid kit with him. He was a Doctor after all.

JOAN "LA PUCELLE" ARK

"God is here," she insisted. "He is everywhere. But my Voices..." She stopped, clamping her mouth shut. Joan had made a promise to herself never to speak of her Counsel to anyone. She cursed herself for nearly breaking her own vow.

"Care to name the winner?" Monte Cristo asked, handing over the envelope.

[yolanda7g]

"Yeah yeah yeah..." James said towards Monte Cristo's *change* comment. "And the winner is..." He looked at the winner and rolled his eyes with a sigh. "JOHN "DOOLITTLE" MOREAU. And his goofy ass parrot." As he moved aside for Doolittle, James said, "Yeah remember when we said not to talk too long? That applies to that parrot too."

[JOHN "DOOLITTLE" MOREAU]

John had mixed feelings about winning. Yes it did feel good to win, however being recognized as the most eccentric was dubious at best. Also it meant that he had to go up on stage and make a speech. Of course he and Polynesia would be presenting other awards later on, something John still held against the parrot.

However, he made his way out onto the stage and to the microphone, Polynesia on his shoulder.

Polynesia looked over at Faustus. "Oh you know I love you too." She replied sarcastically, into the microphone.

John hastily grabbed the microphone and kept it out of Polynesia's reach. It would not do to have her get into a quarrel in front of... a heck of a lot of people.

"I would like to thank you for this... rather dubious... award..."... "Ahem...I am still unsure whether it is really an honor to be thought the most eccentric here-"

Polynesia ran down his arm and spoke into the microphone before he could switch hands. "You wouldn't be thought eccentric if you got out more."

Oh God just kill me now. "You know what I think I'll just take this and go back for a nice cup of tea." God knows I need it

He politely grabbed the award and made his rather rushed way off the stage.

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Monte Cristo inclined his head lightly as Doolittle made his way offstage. That was indeed a very peculiar gentleman. "I believe it's your turn to introduce the next category," Monte Cristo said to Faustus, while dusting off the microphone a bit. "Care to do the honors?"

[yolanda7g]

"Yep. Because this is just what I need. More emo crap with the next category. Seriously, take a good hard look at your life. It really ain't that bad. But apparently to these folks, it is. It don't make no sense how anyone can be this melodramatic. Get a grip ya'll! I'm talking to all the nominees for this category. And they are...

And the nominees for Angstiest Moment are...

YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
STARING DALLAS WINSTON, TWO-BIT MATHEWS & SYLVIA HAYES

As he walked away, he walked as a whole, but figuratively speaking he had left his heart and coherence behind. If there was anything in his chest at that moment, it was made of paper and slowing ripping apart. He felt a wave of emotion hit him and he nearly found himself leaning on a lamppost for support.
- Two-Bit Mathews

ANYWHERE BUT HOME
STARING HENRY JEKYLL & LUCY HARRIS

Henry ignored Hyde and lay very lightly to the tub's base, still holding the handles. There was a great stirring of agitation and anxiety within him, fuelled only by Hyde's taunts, calling to mind the instances of stupid persons who had launched out wildly then been overtaken by ruin. In the powerless end, Hyde did eventually fall silent - as everthing went black and Henry's hands fell away from the bars.

GOD SAVE A POOR WRETCH LIKE ME
STARING ROGER DAVIS AND JOAN ARK

"I can still feel my heart like...being ripped out of my chest every time I think of you. I think of that day." Just then, a large crack of thunder sounded overhead, and he looked up sharply at the sky. A drop hit the top of his head, and he looked down at the headstone, with almost a sad smile. "One year. Just one year, I want one rain-free day." He sniffed in, feeling the tears mixed with rain fall down his cheeks. - Roger Davis

Hopefully this award helps ya'll get it together. And the winner is?..." Faustus pointed to his co-host.

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Picking up from Faustus' cue, Monte Cristo announced, "Anywhere But Home."

[ricketts]

Henry went quickly back up to the stage, with less dignity, perhaps, than he had been surprised into since. He swept into the gaze of the two gentlemen standing together on the platform; and so was caught, as it were, between a rain of conflicting glances, for he was careful to avoid Faustus. With something of timid discomfort, he accepted the award and approached the stand for the second time, congealed into a condition of passive and immovable difficulty.

'Um, thanks. I think?' He said, drawing in his lips and glancing at his new Oscar. ''m glad people enjoyed me tryin' t' kill meself. Angsty moment in itself, that.'

Gazing steadily far over the audience, he stood hesitating but composed his chin off his chest, deliberately turning himself. His large eyes wandered, glancing restlessly. 'Thats it, s'pose. Thanks again.' Henry finished in a dry, difficult voice and made an obvious effort to get back to his seat quickly.

[yolanda7g]

Faustus shook his head as he walked back on stage. "Well hopefully we can cheer people up with our next presenter, who was on this really crappy news show called Buzzline. Hopefully his life ain't too angsty after that lapse of judgment. Here he is - Mark Cohen!"

[renthead]

Mark didn't remember why he'd agreed to do this. Alexi Darling had called him up, and told him it was the chance of a lifetime. And he had been busy, not really paying attention and now... here he was. He cleared his throat, and made his way to the stage, clutching his camera tightly. He had begged his friends to help him write a speech thing to say when he was presenting, and he fumbled around for the cards he wrote them on.

"There's a lot of things to be scared of in New York City. Muggers, landlords, crazy ex-girlfriends... but my friend's have something different to be scared of. Being caught on film in their most embarrassing moments. And trust me, if they were half as funny as these people, they wouldn't have anything to worry about. But, anyway, here are the nominee's for funniest character. he cringed slightly at the sound of his own voice in the microphone. Stupid, stupid, stupid...

And the nominees for Funniest Character are...

DOCTOR JAMES FAUSTUS

"Elissa, here's a word of advice. Don't eva'...eva'eva'eva'eva'eva' eva'!...get married, you hear me? In fact, don't date. Cuz the minute they serve wine at the first dinner, you gonna be rollin' all over the floor. And here's a hint about why," He removed the towel from his face and yelled at her. "It's a turn off!"

KATHERINE MINOLA

“I always wondered when dry humping became dancing. I have no sense of rhythm myself, so I've only ever been able to observe. It's like watching some sort of bizzare mating ritual. And blasting the music to break everyone's ear drums doesn't seem to me the best way to get people to dance. But then, what do I know? “

SHERLOCK HOLMES

“Plenty of things I shouldn't have done that night, yeah alright. Get it. I'm just going to have a moment to express my feelings right now
…
BOOOOLLLLLLOOOOCCCKKKKSSS!!!!
Right, now thats done. Time for a cigarette.”

TWO-BIT MATHEWS

“Girls seemed to like movies a lot and it was a choice option for most dates. They didn't interest Two-Bit much in particular unless they had 1) blondes or beautiful girls in general, 2) blood and gore, 3) Elvis.”

While the video played, Mark said a quick disclaimer.

"None of these pictures are mine, and any mistakes are the fault of Alexx, not me. So, don't kill me or anything."

He opened up the envelope with the winner on it, and looked around.

"Two-Bit Mathews

[merrill]

Now, to Two-Bit, winning an award was a perfect chance of opportunity. When you have a something as big and impressive as an Oscar under your belt, it also brought a chance to put something else under the belt. He reasoned that a lot of the chicks love those famous movie stars because, well, they're famous. Two-Bit wasn't about to pass up the chance of a lifetime.  

He stood up from his spot at the far back (he'd come in quite late), and sauntered up to the stage. He ran a hand through his hair and made sure it was properly grease without a strand out of place. He grabbed the mic and called out into the crowd: 

"To all you ladies out there," he began, "I'd like y'all to know that I'm free for a drink after this shindig, and that my bed is always opened." Then he added as an afterthought, "Well, until it's occupied, that is.

"Now, as for this award," he continued, "I don't have a lot to say, but thanks to my buddies, those greaseballs, and again, to all you ladies." Before leaving, he faced the camera, and grinned. "And one last thing, hi Ma! Thanks to you for never shippin' me away to military school or somethin'."

With that, he rushed off the stage and returned to his seat, but not before flashing a smiles at the beautiful chicks in the front row. 

[renthead]

Mark watched as the greaser ran onto the stage, made a request to random girls and his mother, and then ran off. He blinked, a little worried about the man's mental health, but then decided that he HAD just won funniest character. That probably meant something. He took the stage again, and actually smiled this time. Joanne was up for this category. He hoped she won. The boho's needed another victory towards them, even if Joanne was really just an honorary one...

"That was... odd. But now, the nominees for Most Suspenseful Moment. The lights dimmed as another video began to play, this one a bit sloppier and not as nicely done.

And the nominees for Most Suspenseful Moment are...

FABULA ACTANDA EST
STARING HARRY CHANDLER, RICHARD PLANTAGENET, SHERLOCK HOLMES, MONTE CRISTO, ANNE LANCASTER, JOHN "DOOLITTLE" & JOANNE JEFFERSON

One thing she knew for certain by now was that there was far more than simple politics happening at this dinner party, and when it was over something significant was going to have changed. Thus, she remained silent, watching and waiting… – Joanne Jefferson

A WINDING CRACK
STARING RICHARD PLANTAGENET & LUCY HARRIS

When Hector had approached the woman, he was anticipating a look of fear and possibly even some running…He had done more than taught her lesson, he took away her life.

THE PLANTAGENET CASE: AN INTERROGATION
STARING SHERLOCK HOLMES AND JAMES FAUSTUS

“Now that we're on some length of understanding, I'll ask - you know, just in case. Did you kill Edward Plantagenet?” – Sherlock Holmes

"Once again, all mistakes are Alexx's fault, not my own." he stated, and then pulled out the envelope that would hold the winners. He smiled brightly, and looked up.

Fabula Actanda Est! he clapped along with everyone else, especially for his lawyer friend.

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Since Monte Cristo was already onstage- that is, he was waiting just offstage as Mark presented the next categories- he arrived at the podium quickly to accept the award. He

"Personally, I did not expect to win anything this evening, and I'm a bit sorry that this was the occasion that secured the award. And in any case, this was a combined effort, with my colleague Richard at the helm, and Faustus and Holmes playing particularly critical roles."

He gestured toward the rest of the cast. "I can say I'm glad to have met everyone here. It's made things... interesting, at least."

[RICHARD PLANTAGENET]

As Fabula Actanda Est was announced as the winner of Most Suspenseful Moment, Richard was unable to help a small laugh. He made his way onstage with the rest of the group, and stepped forward once Monte Cristo had finished speaking.

"Thank you, Monte Cristo," he said, before addressing the audience. "I agree it is rather unfortunate that this particular event secured an award but that's not really the point. I just want to thank my dear brother Edward for making this possible."

[joannejefferson]

Mark presenting this award was so extremely perfect, and Joanne couldn't help but grin as she watched her friend do his video thing. Fabula winning the award was a surprised, and it was even more surprising that their portion of the video was ... well ... her talking. Luckily for Jo, Monte Cristo and Richard stepped up to say there little piece about winning the award before she found her way to the stage.

In all honesty, she'd watched this whole show with a bit of amusement. Everyone and their speeches had been so nice to see, despite the sometimes less than amusing things that came out of James' mouth. Of course, she expected no less from the Doctor so she'd been able to give him a pass. He seemed to be enjoying himself, so who was she to criticize?

But anyway, it was her turn to give a quick thank you for the award speech. She stepped up to the podium after the mayor was finished, smiling nervously before she spoke.

"Wow, this is an unexpected honor, especially considering the events of that day. It was a privilege to be in the company of such an esteemed group." She looked back at the rest of the cast, lingering on a few faces before going on. "I'm glad I was there. Thank you all so much."