The 2011 RC Oscars

[IRENE ADLER]

As Irene started to sit a little more comfortably in the seat she was placed in. She suddenly felt her eyes grow wide, then suddenly laughed when she heard Sherlock Holmes pause and then say that it would be just about right. When she heard her name, she stood up as she wore a totally blue occasional short dress with a veil. Which she ripped out of her face and left it in the ground. Her body walking over to the podium as she crossed her arms and started to walk over towards Sherlock Holmes. Her fingers curled around his neck as she pressed him close to her face and caressed his nose. Her lips touching his as she grabbed him in a passionate kiss. This lasted for only a few minutes as she chuckled , her cheeks turning a slight pink as she walked over towards the Microphone.

" Guess that was why they call me the biggest flirt. I like the whole kiss passion and hump situations. Part of my nature. But who to thank.. Must say to all my lovely voters and also to the love of my life. Thank you and also to all the wonderful people in Rc " she said as she grabbed the statue and started to walk over towards the exit.

[philosopher]

The woman rustled to the stage, and once up there, she and Holmes teasingly locked eyes on each other, staring - like combatants measuring strength for a fight. It was Irene's whose eyes were the first to fall, who first showed signs of relenting as she accepted her truly deserved award but allowed him no to speak. Shrinking in anticipation, she yanked the scruff of his blazer and stole a kiss.

Sinking back to the stand with a suddenly feeling of collapse, Holmes resumed. 'Right, well .. ' His voice came out strangled and high, so he coughed into his fist and tried again. 'Like the bloody wind, that woman. Anyway, next category. Fair people of the audience, we're next welcoming our Biggest Drama Queen .. King .. Crocodile, you get it. Who doesn't love a spot of drama, eh? A board without it's drama-mama would be like an Irish wake without whiskey in the teapot, I say. Carrying on then. '

***

And the nominees for Biggest Drama King/Queen are...

LADY CATHERINE DE BOURGH

Unfortunately, as the man behind the register was attempting to explain, vanilla lattes (Her Ladyship's caffeinated beverage of choice) were not available due to the establishment's having run out of vanilla extract earlier that morning. Of course, this simply would not do. The problem was Lady Catherine wasn't about to simply leave the establishment, it being the only one she'd seen in the past twenty minutes searching that she'd thought worth her while. Hence the argument, one which, to an outsider, would have looked utterly ridiculous. And it was.

DR. JAMES FAUSTUS

"Daaamn why ya'll standin' out here for?! Ya'll ain't got shit else to do?!" He shouted at them. He turned back to the woman in the pool and the man with the parrot. "I don't have to take this shit from either one of ya'll. I ain't do shit to you," He told Elissa. "Now get out that pool and sober the hell up. Damn." He hastily grabbed his fur coat.

ERIK DUVAL

Though the words were friendly and smooth, Erik felt none of the calm that was in his tone. Get her out. Get her OUT. GET HER OUT OF HERE! GetheroutofhererightnoworI'llgomad! Internally, he was struggling with every moment that Christine remained on stage and in his life. This had not been part of the plan when he'd opened a theater. She was supposed to go away and leave him alone, not appear out of the blue to ruin his life again.

SYLVIA HAYES

When he was finally done, she looked up at him, digging her fingernails into her pants with her arms at her sides. She felt both her eyebrows furl and she straightened up, tossing her hair over shoulder angrily. For a few seconds she tried to stare him down before bitterly saying, “Funny. You said I should tell you if Mathews comes around again. But you’re not even gonna be here to tell! And you said the asshole police or whoever they are haven’t been around, too.”

***

'What do you reckon?' He cheerily exclaimed. Squaring his shoulders in his old determined fashion, Holmes uncovered the roll of paper in his hand and looked up from it keenly. 'Well well. Everyone, let's welcome to the stage our Biggest Drama Queen. She Who Is To Be Obeyed, also know as, Lady Catherine de Bourgh!'

[LADY CATHERINE DE BOURGH]

Her Ladyship had chosen to have a new gown made just for the Oscars, and thank goodness she did. She came to be seen, after all, but more than that she expected to win something.

As the nominees for biggest Drama King/Queen were read out, Her Ladyship wasn't entirely surprised to find she was on the list. On the contrary, she was feeling rather smug. Drama Queen. Why, that was almost as good as her current title!

'Well well. Everyone, let's welcome to the stage our Biggest Drama Queen. She Who Is To Be Obeyed, also know as, Lady Catherine de Bourgh!'

At Holmes' words Her Ladyship got to her feet, inclining her head regally at those she passed on her way to the stage. She accepted the small golden statue with good graces before turning to face the audience, her rather smug smile still plastered to her face.

"I must say I'm a little surprised, being voted Bigest Drama Queen I don't make a big deal out of things usually, though people seem to think I do," she said, with a small laugh. "But I came here expecting to win something, and I did, so I'm undoubtedly very happy about it." She paused. Then, "You wouldn't believe what I had to endure to get here tonight, you know. I had this dress made specially for the occassion but it turned out they'd made it in the wrong colour at first...light blue instead of dark! I ask you! Having rectified the situation and had another dress made I recieved a call from my hair stylist saying she'd be unable to come and-" She paused again. "Well, I know you'd love to listen to me all night, ladies and gentlemen, but unfortunatley we have other awards to get on with. I'd just like to thank my dear husband Lewis and my beloved daughter Anne for putting up with me all these years; without them I wouldn't be who I am today."

With a slight incline of her had as if to indicate her speech was done, Her Ladyship swept off the stage and back to her seat, looking even more pleased with herself, if possible, than before.

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

As Lady Catherine ended her acceptance speech and left the stage, Monte Cristo returned to the podium, a quiet amused chuckle on his lips. He had been offstage with Faustus while Detective Holmes presented the latter two awards.

He was not entirely certain that he had been able to hide the little smirk that had crept onto his countenance when Faustus was assaulted by Henry, but since his dislike for the doctor was well known, he felt it didn't matter. Still, he refrained from issuing an I-told-you-so over the matter.

"Well, Faustus," he said cheerfully to his co-host, "if you're suitably recovered now, shall we present the next category? I believe it's for the Funniest Moment, which, if it includes schadenfreude, could be a sweep for you."

[yolanda7g]

"Whatever man." He said, rolling his eyes. "I'm thinkin' you'd make a sweep too because you are a walking joke. Yeah, I just said that. Now what?"

Turning to the audience he said, loudly, so Monte couldn't respond. "Nominees!! for funniest moment are!...."

And the nominees for Funniest Moment are...

FABULA ACTANDA EST
HARRY CHANDLER, RICHARD PLANTAGENET, SHERLOCK HOLMES, MONTE CRISTO, ANNE LANCASTER, JOHN "DOOLITTLE" & JOANNE JEFFERSON

Rising scraps of Chandler's plea - he cocked his head in a look of wounded feeling. "Not got .. ? What, the crocodile hat is that supposed to mean? My hair is so soft looking!” – Sherlock Holmes

SOMETHING TO DO
STARING DALLAS WINSTON, TWO-BIT MATHEWS, SODAPOP CURTIS, PONYBOY CURTIS, ÉPONINE THÉNARDIER, IRENE ADLER, MERCUTIO FACETIA, & HALDEN COOPER

"Who's this turkey?," asked a newcomer, definitely one of this "greaser" gang…"Do you lot breed like rabbits? How intriguing! Or perhaps you have a special signal that summons you to a particular dark corner, like Batman." – Mercutio Facetia

THE CAPULET BALL
STARING MANY CHARACTERS

"Yeah, I'm a doctor too. Guess what my diagnosis is? We are all sufferin the symptoms of not givin' a crap. So take you and your medical license somewhere--AAaHH!" Suddenly, Elissa grabbed him and pulled him into the pool with a resounding splash. – Dr. Faustus

"Wait what?!" Faustus said. "That chick ruinin' my suit ain't funny! What's funny about that?!" He shoved the envelope to Cristo so he could reveal the winner. "I better not win or I'mma be trippin!"

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

At Faustus' attempted comeback, Monte Cristo just shook his head. The nominees were presented, and the count accepted the envelope with a chuckle. "You know, Faustus, I find it amusing that you and I were present at two of the nominated events. Perhaps humor simply follows us around." Unfolding the pamphlet, he read the name of the winner. "And the Funniest Moment goes to 'Something to Do.'"

[IRENE ADLER]

She casually started to twiddle her fingers as she started to turn a little pale as she heard someone say that something to do was a winner. Gee she was really in luck today, that was two Oscars that she was going to take today, standing she started to walk over to Faustus as she grabbed the statue and chuckled. " Well well guess a little flirting with Dal payed off, well more than flirting it was me trying to explain that I did not mean to act like such a bitch. But you people know Dal, always being the jackass that he is." she started to say and sighed.

[yolanda7h]

Dally ran up on stage again but Irene beat him to it. "The same jackass you wanna get in bed with." He said with a smug smirk. "But wait, what about that guy Sherlock you talked about, huh?" He teased.

"Listen, I don't know what was so funny about what happened. All we were doin' was going to Hal's garage and causin' a little ruckus, so what's so funny? Except for the space boots and Two-Bit trying to get a piece of ass. And Eponine scarin' the crap outta Pony. That kid nearly peed his pants," Dal teased, laughing a bit. "Pony, where are ya kid? And where's that crazy french chick?"

[queenmab]

Mercutio smirked smugly when he had won by his alarming charm and witty talent once again. He excused himself from the sexy little escort he had been sitting with, rose to his feet and smoothed his pinstriped suit jacket. As he strolled to the stage, he noticed watched that wench Irene and her boy toy Dallas compete to reach the microphone first. Naturally, that woman had to arrive first, as the first commentary always belonged to her. But never the last, for that was for dear Mercutio. Their obnoxious voices grated his ears.

"I thank you for this celebration of my fantastic Doc Martens, worn better by none" Mercutio said as he took his place at the microphone confidently. "And for the acknowledgment of how entertaining I am on a regular basis, with minimal effort."

[hal]

Hal was still backstage, trying to get someone to tell him where to go, when he heard Something to Do winning. Hal lumbered back onto to stage, saluted, and walked back off. He didn't even do anything in the damn thread, but he might as well do something.

[yolanda7g]

(keeping this moving, sorry all who didn't get to post! )

Faustus stepped on stage and started shooing people off stage. "Ya'll need to take an example from Hal, and make your 15 minutes brief! Shoot, there are too many of ya'll in that thread so before you all get up on this stage we are gonna keep this party short. Get a move on, I don't know where you gotta go but you gotta get the hell up off of this stage."

When they had taken their seats, he turned to his co-host. "Alright, so I presented the Funniest moment nominees, it seems appropriate you'd present the saddest moment right?" He grinned at his own little dig.

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Monte Cristo chuckled at Faustus' attempt at a roast. "Only because there's no chance that I might be listed among the nominees- unless, of course, one considers the few and brief encounters we've shared." His tone was lighthearted; he had to admit, he was enjoying co-hosting the awards with Faustus, and not only for the exchange of witty barbs. Handing out awards was a welcome change from his usual work.

"With that, let's segue into the list of nominees."

And the nominees for Saddest Moment are...

THIS IS HOW IT GOES DOWN
STARING SHERLOCK HOLMES & IRENE ADLER

Evidently the exhausted woman had no intention of appearing to him in a brighter light, and she finally made that clear. He paused, and with a word or two of excuse, breaking into something he was saying, she rose to her final conclusion. Though not grateful for the idea, it was definitely the best one they had ever had. Though not delighted in the least, Holmes smiled a mournful, dreamy smile. – Sherlock Holmes

THE REST IS SILENCE
STARING HARRY CHANDLER AND B. CHASE DAVIDSON

Chase clutched the flowers in his hands and headed straight for the grave. He knew exactly where it was now; his feet had memorized each step, and he was certain that he could have found his way even in complete darkness....the cemetery at dusk was the stuff of dreamscapes, or perhaps of nightmares; Chase could not be certain which the case was.

I'D DIE WITHOUT YOU
STARING RENT CHARACTERS

Why should they have to see her looking so...vulnerable? So pathetic and weak? And it was her fault; no one could deny that she wouldn't be in this position if she hadn't gotten hooked in the first place. But more than anything else, Mimi craved the end. The light at the end of her tunnel. - Mimi Marquez

"And there it is. Care to announce the winner, Faustus?" Monte Cristo said, passing the envelope to him.

[yolanda7g]

"Gladly. I'm already having too much of all that emo stuff." He looked at the envelope. " And the winner goes to....The Rest is Silence!"

[chase]

Chase had been sitting in the audience since just about the beginning of the show, after slipping in a bit late. He had dusted off a suit jacket and thrown it on over a red shirt and slacks. It seemed to work well enough. No one had tagged him for "worst style" yet.

Why had he shown up at the awards? He'd thought they sounded cool and he expected to see some of his friends around. Jane had already won an award; Chase thought she had totally deserved it. But he hadn't expected to win one himself. When "The Rest is Silence" was named, he laughed to himself and shot out of his seat, jogging toward the stage before the hosts could decide he wasn't present. He had never met either of the hosts before, but he liked them, especially the Count. The man spoke well; he must have a pretty good writer.

Chase accepted the statuette and waited for Harry to join him onstage before starting his speech, or whatever it was he was going to say. "Um, I guess this is an honor. Now that I think about it, that meeting in the cemetery was pretty sad. But I got to meet Harry, and I'm proud to share this award with him." He glanced over at his friend. "Any thoughts?"

[hamlet]

Harry came to the award show not expecting to win anything, so when it was announced that he won for saddest moment, wel,l he had to grin at what a cruel joke that was. It did make sense. If he was going to win anything, it certainly wouldn't be for "Most Chipper."

Harry followed Chase on stage and let him say his piece. Reflecting back on it, that moment had not been his proudest, that was for sure. But at least he was getting something for making a fool out of himself.

Yes. This was pretty sad.

After Chase spoke he said, "I guess the only thing I have to say is...I'll take this as a compliment?" He grinned a bit. "I might have had a little too much to drink. But, I have to say Chase was a good sport about it. He has patience that is like no other. But anyway, thanks guys." He held up the award towards the audience and started off stage.