The 2011 RC Oscars

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Monte Cristo had already been making his way offstage after Faustus announced Halden, the first time. He watched from the wings, amused as always, as Meg Giry and then Dallas, Sylvia, and Victor accepted their awards. The arrival of the last was, at the very least, disconcerting, and the count subconsciously dusted off his jacket as he returned to the stage for the next category.

He chuckled at Faustus' antics. "You may want to avoid that spot of blood on the floor there, Faustus."

Once the nominees had been presented, he read the name of the winner with a smile. "RC's Friendliest Character is Miss Jane Eyre."

[JANE EYRE]

Jane had been sitting in the audience, fidgeting with the hem of her used, brown lace party dress and blushing madly when her name was mentioned as a nominee that she almost missed it when her name was called.

Her knees shaking, Jane stood, wobbled on her pumps, and made her way to the stage. She climbed the steps carefully and accepted the award with a smile. Jane greeted both emcees as she passed before speaking briefly into the microphone, her breath whispery from excitement. "Oh, I uh....I'm not quite sure what to say. I've never won anything before so I'm not quite up to speed on proper acceptance etiquette. Thank you, of course, for chosing me out of all these fine people. I do only what needs to be done, nothing more, nothing less. I am truly honored, thank you," Jane's words almost melted together she spoke so nervously.

Smiling at the audience once more, Jane exited the stage quickly, her cheeks blazing with embarassment.

[yolanda7g]

Dr. Faustus cringed a bit when Cristo pointed out the blood stain. "That's it. I am done hanging around you crazy asses!" He shook his head.

Faustus listened to the nominees and winner of friendliest character, checking Jane out as she left the stage. "I heard Jane was the artsy type. I love artsy types. Not only are they friendly but..." He looked out at Jane as she made her way to her seat. "If you every need someone to pose for you," He winked and made a sign that resembled a phone with his hand, next to his ear. "Call me." He mouthed.

He turned to Monte Cristo. "Alright, what's next on the list? It better not be any psychos like that last guy otherwise I'm outta here!"

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Monte Cristo smiled as Jane accepted her award, a smile that faded somewhat when Faustus very obviously hit on the woman. "You really are without shame, aren't you?" the count commented dryly. "As far as psychos, I suspect we'll fare better with this next category- that of 'Best Chemistry."'

And the nominees for Best Chemistry are...

HENRY JEKYLL & LUCY HARRIS

The smallness of such circles may act in two ways; it may either send the members of it in different directions or it may draw them together in an intense concentration of interests and sympathy. This latter happily seemed the condition of Henry and the veiled Kitty. The varying degrees of their strengths and weaknesses had been so mercifully adjusted by destiny that each could find in the other some support - whether real or fancied did not matter. -Henry Jekyll

MARY MORTSAN & JAY WATSON

He pressed for his voice mail, putting the phone to his ear and sliding slightly further down into his tired slouch. He tilted his head back against the seat as he listened to the message. It was good to hear her voice. His eyes stung with fresh tears as her apology floated through his head. She was coming to New York? A smile spread across his face. -Watson

JANE EYRE & B. CHASE DAVIDSON

It struck her how similar they were. Both Chase and she were lonely, finding their only solace in books or paintings; inanimate objects for company did little to appease the overwhelming sense of solidarity. They were both desperate for human company, managing only to find it in other displaced souls. –Jane

MARK COHEN & ROGER DAVIS

"I love you too." he said quietly. He did, of course. Everything that went through his mind that moment, proved that... Roger was really his best friend, the brother that he'd always wanted, the one guy who wouldn't shove him away and tell him to get lost. That he wasn't good enough to be around him. That no one cared about him. -Mark

Handing the envelope to Faustus, Monte Cristo said, "I'll let you do the honors, though I should warn you that attempting an advance on a winning female this time is probably inadvisable."

[yolanda7g]

Faustus grabbed the envelope. "Pfft you don't know Dr. James Faustus M. D. then. Chemistry don't mean nothin' when it comes to dealin with a pro. Just watch, I'll show ya."

Looking at the envelope he said, "And the winner is...HENRY JEKYLL AND LUCY HARRIS!"

[LUCY "KITTY" HARRIS]

When Lucy had first received word of the nominations, she’d been a mixture of perplexed, flattered, and even amused. Initially, anyway. Only after she’d finished laughing about it with friends did it occur to her the significance of this whole event. Thereafter came the emergence of a woman possessed by the trivialities of award show etiquette. There was something humorous in the fact that the prozzie, one accustomed to the grunge and grime of the streets, was making every effort to shed that particular image. So there she sat, her darkly elegant attire credited to a certain empowered Mafioso who’d footed the bill, but one that wasn’t going to be thanked in her speech if she were to, by some cruel misfortune, give one. That’d be awkward, to say the least.

Awards were handed out and to her delight, some friends of hers were recipients. Minus the one who’d strolled in painted all shades of red that had caused her to seriously reevaluate her position on radical honesty and just plainly lie that the apparent maniac was no acquaintance of hers. She maintained an air of composure, for both their sakes, and gave Henry’s hand a small squeeze as their names were announced as nominees. Flashing him a smile of reassurance, she watched on. Then came the announcement of them as the winners and her excitement/anxiety came at her in waves.

Hand in hand they both made their way to the stage, a grin plastered onto her face. She accepted her own Oscar statuette and grinned as Henry was handed his. There was a minute moment of panic owing to her own “foot-in-mouth” syndrome. Giving a speech in front of so many people translated into a heightened chance of her embarrassing them with her verbal vomit that could reduce anyone else’s’ to mere dry heaves.

She started, “Umm, wow. Stupidly underprepared for this. Speeches are . . . yeah, but I guess I can take a stab it.” No sooner had she said that than she noticed the crimson still gleaming menacingly along the mic and she winced at her use of the word “stab”. Clearing her throat, she attempted to shrug herself into a more easy-going demeanor, one best suited for them both.

“Really, who can we thank for us clicking the way that we do? Chemistry, you just can’t fake and I’m glad that we’ve got enough of the real thing to be recognized for it,” she stated, casting a sidelong glance Henry’s way. “It’s what helped us become close and what keeps us close still, among other things.” Lucy accentuated that last statement with a wink and a grin his way, realizing afterwards exactly how others could interpret that.

Smooth.

Not troubling herself to care as much, she laughed slightly and sidestepped away from the podium a bit, encouraging Henry to say something with wild hand gestures and expressions of obvious elation.



(Unnecessarily long post is long. -.- Not to worry, though. HELL NAW are they all gonna be like this. Just getting the first one out of the way so that I can be short with the next. I'm dumb like that. )

[ricketts]

With that the flow of the winning applause recommenced; in which Henry sat like a silent pebble, only too happy to be bubbled round by his pleasant and refreshing woman. He rose out of his chair, hand curved under Lucy's and followed her at short range up to the stage, smiling especially.

Calmly but unprepared, he stood a little behind her left side as she braved the speech. Looking awkwardly self conscious in such a wide presense, though with the affectionate accent that was always quite real, but which now deepened under the circumstances. He blinked a few glances at Lucy, proud lips quivering. Happily idle he stayed, hands placed behind his back - covered sharply by a Dries Van Noten striped tuxedo, until the woman herself broke into his transparent disposition and urged him to say a word.

A colour briefly rose to his face as he looked out at the face of the audience, more leaning toward the stand then standing straight up to it. 'I'm, uhm .. not th' best wit' words but I'll jus' say a quick thanks to th' people there that put our names up, and obviously,' A strange softness crept over him; and he took Lucy's hand for the second time. Yielding to a proud hearted smile. 'All me love t' this beaut here.'

[yolanda7g]

Now it was time to show Cristo that chemistry really don't mean anything in the long run. Right when Henry stated his last sentence, Faustus went on stage and wedged his way in between Henry and Lucy to get to the microphone.

"Hey, hey, I'm happy for you and all that, and I'm gonna let you guys finish but...LUCY HARRIS IS THE SEXIEST WOMAN OF ALL TIME." He glanced over at Lucy with a grin. "You should've won that award for sexiest woman too, lemme say that."

[LUCY "KITTY" HARRIS]

That little . . .

Lucy’d told him many times before that she wasn’t a fan of added colors, especially flushing red and yet there Henry was, complimenting her in that sweet nature of his that brimmed from the gentlest of hearts. Bittersweet it was, a fact he very well knew. She didn’t have the neatest of blushes either, so she’d make sure he’d pay for it in ten-fold. Already an idea was hatching and as she playfully narrowed her eyes at him and shot him a toothy grin, a sudden obstruction came in between them.

The voice was boisterous and practically dripping with conceit, the man it belonging to recognizable as the proudly contemptuous co-host of the entire event. She was struck dumb for a moment, only managing to stand there, through the disapproving commotion of the audience, with this wide-eyed look that practically spoke “You’ve got to be kidding me”.

His words registered rather quickly and when they did, it took all of her self-restraint not to resort to her usual manner in dealing with unruly men. Leaning her weight onto one hip, she regarded him with a cocked brow and a thin smile, trying her best to keep things civilized. As civilized as Lucy Harris could keep things, anyway.

“I think the right woman won for that, actually. Here’s an idea, though. Why not go track her down if you’re lookin’ for a wild time?” She spoke, not mentioning that if he did indeed take her up on that, the wild time he’d be having would be with a very enraged Roger, not Mimi.

Trying to save some face, she did concede, “Thanks for the compliment . . . I guess, but don’t you think it’s kinda, I dunno, rude to pull that on a girl who’s taken? Never mind right in front of the guy that she’s obviously with and to top it all off, in front of an audience?”

Figuring any answer to the negative would lead to an even more awkward situation, she silently hoped Faustus would make like his capacity to feel shame and disappear.



(Hey. It's shorter, alright? Gimme a break. >>)

[ricketts]

Henry was so astonished at the sudden quickness of the host that at first he could not speak. His hand broke away from Lucy's and he sort of hung back, standing motionless. Though, his brows were knitted in deep attention, and his mouth had begun to assume the rather cross expression which such rich, rare lips always can.

Though Faustus was usually a harmless ebullition of annoyance, the way he was looking at Lucy and making remarks at her, even if commonplace, it was starting to make him angry.

Not understanding one jot, all he drew this confused volubility was that this man saw his girlfriend in a light that Henry did not like. Someone else thought they could have her. The thought continued to irritate him, and wondered to see him so erect and calm, while his own cheeks were burning, and saw the little changes - bitter, fierce, sorrowful, that by turns swept over the face under which his own lay so calmly. Strange differences.

Having been hesitating to a painful degree, at last, feeling rather challenged, Henry jostled the doctor's shoulders and flared his angry spirit through straining eyes. 'Oi you!'

[yolanda7g]

To Lucy's responce Faustus leaned in and said under his breath, "hey, what a guy don't know wont hurt him, am I right?" He winked.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, Faustus was attacked by the once reserved guy with the accent. And that shit hurt! "OI?!" Faustus pushed back at him with a forceful shove. "OI yourself! You need to calm yo' ass down cause maaaan I'd knock you out right here in front of all these people man, I don't play that!"

This guy was straight trippin! Sure he was hitting on his girl but damn, dude need to calm down!

[LUCY "KITTY" HARRIS]

She knew his kind all too well and typical of her to come upon one at the Oscars, of all places. It seemed the scribe of her life that she be condemned to countless encounters with sleazes and those of the like. So the question wasn’t “why at the Oscars”, but “why not at the Oscars”?

Justifiably miffed she was when he refused to take the not-so-subtle hint and instead persisted with his advances. Clearly this was why a musical act hadn’t been booked for the event. What was the need when the audience had perfectly suitable entertainment right on stage, from their own peers even?

Lucy scoffed at Faustus’ remark and was about to shoot back with her own retort when the sudden movement from Henry’s side and outburst drew her attention. The first signs of a brawl, but what confused her was Henry’s involvement. He was the last person she expected to take part in violence of any kind. Faustus, from what she could already tell, must’ve been accustomed to scuffles by now seeing as he seemed intent on incensing everyone and their mothers. This was not going to fare well for anyone if things escalated from where they already were.

Forcing herself out of her head where she still hadn’t shaken her confusion, she wedged herself in between them, keeping them apart with the forceful placement of her hands against their opposing chests. “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Both of you need to calm the fuck down.”

Taking turns at shooting them both glares, she pointed at Faustus with condescension and uttered with a tense shaking of her head, “Not even if you paid me.”

And there was even some truth to that.

Seizing Henry’s arm with authority, she hastily began pulling him away from the stage and away from the narrowly escaped clash, muttering with evident irritation, “And you. What the hell was that about?!”

[ricketts]

During the few moments that elapsed between Henry and Faustus, he scarcely blinked. Showing annoyance, pain - and restlessly grapling his award statue, ready to raise it. Observing a grave aspect that lasted a minute or two longer, at the end of which, Lucy burst in.

The sight was so startling, so moving and in the seconds that followed Henry did not seem to be paying her much attention, only restlessly squeezing around what could have been used to cave the doctor's head in. As she spoke, his attention seemed to catch and flicker, making him listen in deep thought; then, meeting her eyes, he coloured slightly, but quickly recovering himself, and said, in a low tone, 'Sorry babes.'

For following seconds Henry had a confused notion of being taken into a drowsy state. But that grave superior calm of unvarying kindness - his poor angry spirit beat against it like waves against a shining rock and, glancing once more at Faustus with some slight apology, he let Lucy lead him off the stage shortly by his arm. There was an uncomfortable pause on the way back, to which he responded briefly in a toned town whisper, 'Dun' matter now. Lets jus' sit down.'

[yolanda7g]

Faustus saw Henry about to raise that statue. This dude got to be out of his MIND! Faustus was ready to take him to the ICC in a second before Lucy jumped in and stopped both of them. The girl eventually led the guy off the stage but Faustus didn't waver his glare. He watched the guy like a hawk as he walked off.

"Yeah - take yo' ass on. What you think this is? Jerry?! I'm the host around here." Faustus paused and looked at Monte, adjusting his collar. "Co-host." He rolled his eyes. "Maaan whatever. So what if that didn't go as planned. Of course, the girl ain't gonna admit she wants me in front of her guy - sometimes the method works, sometimes it doesn't.

....

ANYWAY, lets get on with this. Our next presenter is a crap ass detective. Give it up for Sherlock Holmes." With that very unenthusiastic introduction, Faustus walked off stage, clearly pissed, giving Holmes the stage.

[philosopher]

To the credit of his mention, be it said, Holmes rose nobly to the occasion, and welcomed himself to the stage. Delivering himself in a succession of nods and smiles, the echo of disjointed applause reached the detective''s ears - which filled him with an infectious spirit of fun and mischief. Holmes was a man who adored priase of any sort, and a minute or so elapsed - soaking it up - before he spoke to the audience.

'Hallo,' Holmes grinned under a loud, jolly voice just before he fixed his glasses higher onto his nose. He wore a Givenchy black suit, Lanvin Grosgrain bow tie, and a pair of black converse. 'How are we all?'

The man stood tall at the announcing booth as he spoke, listening to the departing footsteps of the doctor as he trotted along backstage probably to attack the free champers. Luckily, Holmes has thought better and drawn back from the alcohol. At least until he was finishing with the presenting. Continuing his hearty words, his hands found themselves wandering aimlessly around as they did when he got into self discussions. 'Our next category, my dears, is Biggest Flirt. Now, flirting. We've all done it, right? Whether you are an awkward social outcast winking over a game of chess, or a horny Italian boy chatting up a woman twice his age, or Doctor James Faustus hitting on anything with a bank account - its a widely varied game, ladies and gents. And now, lets have our nominations.'

And the nominees for Biggest Flirt are...

DR. JAMES FAUSTUS

Besides, why write when you can...woo? Excessively? Penelope was hot as hell and even though Hector made it clear it was exclusive, he wouldn't mind right? Whoever sticks with Faustus was automatically VIP. VIP status came with the package. - Dr. James Faustus

IRENE ADLER

But then again that would be another reason to come and visit him. It was always a good idea to leave a man wanting more than was necessary, instead of giving him all that was necessary. All pleasure and no fun of the courting wasn’t any fun for Miss Irene Adler.

ROGER DAVIS

He leaned in, placing a quick kiss on her cheek. "You're cute when you're tipsy, baby. And you're lookin' really sexy today, baby. I don't think I've ever seen you in a skirt." He wondered, however, if Maureen was going to show up at some point. Then he knew it'd be a party.

SYLVIA HAYES

She waited a few seconds, meeting his eyes coolly before stepping closer to him. “And you…” she began, starting to circle around him. She got up on the balls of her feet, placing her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. Pushing herself up against his back, she brought her lips close to his ear and murmured, “You were just about to get laid too.”

'He would be up there as well,' Holmes laughed with good-natured disdain, 'And our winner is ..' His eyes fell on the roll of paper in his hand, and there was a moments pause. When he rose his head, he seemed to be wearing a look of comic dismay and he fixed his glasses again, this time as if emphasising a point. 'That'll be just about right, wouldn't it. Ladies and gentlemen, biggest flirt on RC, Irene Adler!'