The 2011 RC Oscars

[yolanda7g]

Faustus waited until the nominees were read to respond to Monte Cristo's little snide remark. "Troubles with self-esteem? Please. I'm as happy as they come." He took the envelope.

"Because in the famous words of R. Kelly- " Faustus started to sing in the microphone. "Whoooaaaaa....whoaaaaa...Happy people! Keeps the world...turnin'...turnin'!" He spun around and started doing a quick side step move, snapping his fingers.

"Check out those moves. Steppin' in the name of love, for real. Ow!'" He looked down at the envelope's contents. "Alright, and the winner is.....

MEG GIRY!

Get up here gurl!"

[THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO]

Some time passed with no one approaching the stage to claim the award. Finally, someone spoke to Monte Cristo through his earpiece, and he nodded slightly. "It seems Ms. Giry is not present to accept the award," he said to the audience. "We'll accept it on her behalf. Faustus, care to go ahead with the next category?" he asked his reluctant co-host.

[yolanda7g]

"Oh snap, I was gonna do some 'Happy People' steppin with her after she accepted her award. Your loss, girl." He grinned.

"Actually our next category is going to presented by someone special. Because speakin' of happy, he got a little too happy at the tattoo parlor. Have you seen this guy, Monte? This guy looks like he could bust a cap in anyone's ass and not break a sweat! And ain't about to say on single bad thing about him cause I value my life too much, best believe it! Welcome HALDEN COOPER!"

[georgie]

"Alright, and the winner is.....MEG GIRY! Get up here gurl!"Meg Giry could hardly believe it when her name was called. Honestly, she'd never one anything before. The little ballerina could not move out of her seat, she was so shocked. No awards were given out at the Opera House, especially not for ballerinas. But then tears formed in her eyes. "It seems Ms. Giry is not present to accept the award," "No, I'm here!" she yelled out as she finally made herself move out of shock. Meg made her way up to the stage in her pink dress and silver jewelry and shoes practically dancing, a grin across her face. She finally reached the mike. "Wow," she said, running a hand through her blonde curls, "I am certainly surprised." She giggled a bit, spinning around on her toes before centering herself at the mike again. "I just love dance and people and making them happy." she said, "I am so please to have won. I would just like to thank my friends here especially Sodapop Curtis, who always makes me smile and just be happy...." she giggled and spinned on her toes again. This girl was SO excited. "Okay, that is it. Merci...er...Thank you!!!" she giggled, waved to the audience grinning and made her way off the stage.

[yolanda7g]

Faustus saw Meg running up to the stage and he said, "Pause that thought! There's a happy P.Y.T. coming onstage!" He looked at Monte. "Pffft...Meg ain't here. Why you lyin' to the people like that, you ain't right!" he joked as he moved aside for Meg to make her speech.

When she left, Faustus shouted. "See? She loves dance! I bet she knows how to step. I bet she does some crazy remix ballet moves up in the club. You go girl!"

He turned to the crowd. "And now my good, good....good good good friend, so good I hope he never eva ' eva ' eva' knocks me all the way to Timbuktu....HALDEN COOPER!"

He paused.

..."fo' real this time."

[hal]

Hal heard his introduction and made his way onstage, muttering under his breath "It's Hal you moron. I ain't been called Halden since I was seventeen," Add that too the fact that the same idiot who called him Halden was now trying to convince him not to hurt him, Hal was not a happy camper. "Calm your tits, son. I ain't gonna hurt ya unless you give me a reason too. And running that mouth of yours is one hell of a food reason," Hal tugged at his tuxedo jacket and continued to the podium.

Settling himself behind the microphone, he began, "See, they gave me this script thing to memorize but I didn't feel like it so I guess I'm just winging it. The next category is the award for the Best Badass Moment. Now, I happen to know a thing or two about Bad Assery. And I have got to say, the following moments were up to par with everything I know about being Bad Ass. Each moment has a certain level of reckless abandon with just the right amount of not giving a damn. Watch and learn kiddies.

And the nominees for the Best Badass Moment are...

YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
STARING TWO-BIT MATHEWS, DALLAS WINSTON, AND SYLVIA HAYES

His eyes flared manically at Two-Bit and, for everyone in Windrixville, that was a sign not to mess around. Two-Bit was going to regret ever trying to cross Dallas Winston. – Dallas Winston

CURTAIN FALLS
STARING RICHARD PLANTAGENET & SHERLOCK HOLMES

"You honestly believe I would murder my brother?" He shook his head in disbelief before looking Holmes right in the eye. "You must be joking, Holmes.” – Richard Plantagenet

SURGEON’S CUT
STARING HECTOR “HADES” TORMEI

"I'm going to make an example of you, Vincent. So that my other men won't make the same mistake you have," Another twist of the wrist and another bellow of pain.

And the winner for Best Badass Moment is You Give Love a Bad Name."

[yolanda7h]

Dally jogged up the stairs, grabbed the award, grabbed the microphone and said, "Yeah, Sylvia and Two-Bit couldn't be here tonight because they're BLEEEEEEEPin' BLEEEEEP offs. This thing really belongs to just me anyway because I BLEEEEEPin beat Two-Bit's ass. And if he ever touches Sylvia again I'm gonna BLEEEEEEEEEEEP ---"

Dallas looks off stage. "Who keeps BLEEPin censoring me back there, man? "

A man off stage shouts - "We knew this would happen so we prepared ourselves!"

"You came prepared huh? Lets see how prepared you are if I take this award and shove it up your ass."

[sylvia]

Sylvia watched as Dally practically stormed the stage, while she herself took the time to look around smugly at anyone near her. When he said that she couldn't make it, her head snapped towards the stage. "You asshole," she called, hurrying up towards the stage.

She reached for the microphone, smug again. "You won't be shovin' this anywhere 'cause I'm takin' it home with me, bein' the real badass an' all."

She glances at Dallas. "You can have the shitty replic--oh! Shit! We're not s'posed to swear... 'S a good thing they got your mouth censored or they'd hafta shut this damn show down 'fore we even got halfway through."

[yolanda7h]

Dallas rolled his eyes. "The only badass thing you've done is that nasty thing you do in the bed. You know that thing?" He grinned at her teasingly. To the audience he said into the microphone. "Here, I'll tell everyone in extreme detail. So --"

[sylvia]

Sylvia snatched the microphone back, stepping away from Dally as best she could. Taking over for him, she finished, "Dal's got this thing about sharin' sex secrets, so I'll share a few. Whatever. See, one o' you should see how pissed he gets if I fu--screw up his Star Trek bedsheets and matchin' Star Trek action figure. You'd swear those things mean as much to him as that badass rep he holds so close to his heart."

Rather pleased with herself, Sylvia linked her arm with Dally's to drag him off the stage before he tried retaliating and acted like a general douche.

[yolanda7h]

Dally yanked his arm away and before going offstage he said quickly into the microphone. "She's a lunatic, man. Thats just one of her fantasies she's tried to keep secret but she had to let it out of the bag. Too bad I can't live up to her nerdy expectations," He stifled a laugh as he glanced at Sylvia mischievously. Afterwards, he jumped off stage, not bothering with the stairs.

[hal]

"Stupid kids," Hal shook his head as the pair exited the stage. Stepping back up the microphone, "Hey, a prompter, I'll try reading from that.

"These next nominees had not only mastered the art of not giving a damn, but they have also managed to transcend to another level of control. Who the hell writes this shit? These next nominees scare the crap outa people, using the ancien art of intimidation. They're big, they're bad, they're terrifying as BLEEP. Don't censor me you jack wagons.

The nominees for Most Intimidating Character are...

HECTOR "HADES" TORMEI

It wasn't the first time he had to get rid of one of his cronies who pushed the wrongs buttons and spilled the wrong secrets to the wrong people. It had been a messy, personal affair. Usually Hector let one of his...specialists handle the information gathering but this time, the Rich One wanted the blood on his hands.

HENRY JEKYLL/HYDE

After some glossy bits of due devilry, some street-rogue caught him admittedly off-guard while he was idling along the sidewalk and tried to threaten him with the pretty little knife, that he now held. The smile on Hyde's face was a thoroughly amused one, and without a moment’s hesitation he took the rogue's head off and sauntered easily away - with the knife - as jolly as a piper.

RICHARD PLANTAGENET

Even better in that case that George is out of the way, so I'm not tempted. I mean...I already have two murders on my hands, not to mention all that happened in the war. Not that I'm being flippant about it. But Edward d'Anjou and his dear old Dad deserved it. And so does Edward. He deserves to die.

VICTOR GRIFFITHS

With glee, he watched the blood bead on the pale skin, watched the blue eyes widen and the mouth open in a silent scream. He twisted one gloved hand in its dark hair, tilting its head up so that he could see the life slip from its eyes.

"And the winner for Most Intimidating Character is Victor Griffiths"

[JACK THE RIPPER]

"And the winner for Most Intimidating Character is Victor Griffiths."

There was a very long silence. The audience looked around, clueless as to where the winner of the award was; Victor had been on the red carpet, but not he seemed to be nowhere in sight.

It seemed that Jack the Ripper was not at the ceremony, or else was sleeping in the audience. Just as they were about to move on, someone came flying through the doors, his Victorian trench coat billowing out behind him, throwing off his top hat. As he trotted up the stairs and onto the stage, he adopted a big grin. Under the lights, everyone could see that he was absolutely sopping with blood.

He cleared his throat, taking the mic in one gloved hand, making the silver drip red. He ran his other hand through his hair, clotting it with the sticky substance. "Sorry 'bout that, folks," he said calmly, leaning casually against the podium. "Didn't have time to clean up."

He flashed a grin at the audience and said, "I decided to dress up, too! What a waste of good cloth. Anyway..."

Jack cleared his throat again, wiping some blood off of his cheek with his sleeve--he only succeeded in making it wetter. "I'd like to dedicate this award to my girls; Polly, Annie, Liz, Cathy, and Mary!" He gestured to five women in the front row, all of them pale and gory, but animated. Catherine Eddowes' intestines jiggled as she bounced up and down excitedly with Mary Nichols, squealing like 13-year-old girls. Mary Kelly was crying with joy despite the fact that most of her face was ripped off.

"Aren't they lovely?" he asked dreamily, and then stood up straight. "So, Rewritten City, thank you for this honor, and... CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!" [/i]

Jack threw his head back and began cackling maniacally, throwing the mic onto the floor and then jumping off the stage, dissolving into the darkness of the crowd. His laugh still echoed through the hall.

[hal]

Hal stepped back to avoid getting blood on himself and wrinkled his nose. As Victor Griffiths left the stage, Hal paused a moment because walking off, shaking his head, and muttering under his breath about a screwy generation and how much he needed a drink.

[yolanda7g]

Faustus cautiously stepped onstage watching as both Hal and Victor made their exit. "Y-yeah, me and Victor , we cool too." He cleared his throat nervously. "Right, Vic? Yeeeah we used to go to college together! We ain't never gonna be enemies!" he laughed nervously.

"Right, moving on! We go from most intimidating, to friendliest. I'm liking the sound of that, don't you Monte. Cuz ya'll angry folks are straight crazy up in here!

Here are the nominees!

And the nominees for Friendliest Character are...

JANE EYRE

"If you'd both like, we could go back to my apartment. You could dry off and I could fix you some supper. It's awfully cold out, I wouldn't want either of you catching a cold," Jane thought nothing of offering her home to two strangers for the evening. She felt that it was her Christian duty to aid all those she could.

MEG GIRY

As she was making her way back, Meg noticed two guys going over to a dark haired girl. Did they know her? What were they planning on doing to her? She was concerned. "Um..." she started in a soft, confused voice and then asked the other girl, "Are these guys bothering you?"

PENELOPE LAFONTAINE

As Penelope turned to leave again, a thought came to her mind. This girl ought to get some help. She seemed like a nice enough girl and it was hard to imagine what drove her to the streets like this.

SODAPOP CURTIS

For some reason the way Dallas Winston talked to girls made Soda's insides knot up. He hated the way Dally talked. It was awful. "Dal, lay off," Sodapop said in warning, but he could barely hear it himself. So the warning went unnoticed, suddenly another voice spoke up softer and sweeter than any of theirs.