Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk (FIN)

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

Deep, slow inhale. Long, even exhale. James examined the end of his cigarette as he sat at Sebastian's kitchen table wearing a spare bathrobe that Sebastian had given him. Sebastian was puttering around the kitchen, doing this and that but James wasn't paying attention to him. He was enjoying his post-shag cigarette, like he always did. James tapped the cigarette against the ash tray rim, the light grey flakes falling onto the black surface.

He was trying to figure something out. Namely, how an arrangement revolving around casual sex turned into a routine ladled with familiarty and silly emotions. Young Sebastian seemed to be fond of James, something the older man couldn't quite figure out. After fulfilling the initial part of their deal (making love, how ridiculously sappy) James hadn't been a kind, caring person to Sebastian. True, he couldn't be himself right up front. James knew that he was a particularly likeable person and in order to ensure that this little understanding had any longevity, James would have to make sure that Sebastian wasn't scared off right away. James would have to train him, slowly acclimating him to his true nature.

Unfortunately, that involved a rather harsh reality check for young Sebastian. He was so emotional, a woman in every sense except anatomy. Taking a deep drag from his cigarette, James looked over at Sebastian. The boy was just wearing his boxers, every bruise and love bite left from James showing clearly. Tilting his head, James spotted the scar on the junction between shoulder and neck that he had their first night. A brand, marking Sebastian as his. It was a bit medieval of him, James admitted, but he couldn't help himself. He was a selfish, possessive man. What James had, no one else could. James supposed that was the extent he could feel for the lad, possession. Poor fool.

"Sebastian, sit for a moment won't you? We need to talk about something," James said smoothly, snubbing his cigarette out. First step in getting Sebastian to be his completely was honesty. As a man who always got whatever he wanted, James knew how to make Sebastian his unequivocally. Make the boy feel like he knew everything, knew the ins and outs of one Professor Edwards. Honesty was the greatest lure for an emotional being like Sebastian Martin. It was what James would have to do in order to get what he wanted. And he wanted Sebastian to himself.

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian hated smoking.

He really did. He hated everything that went with it. It was disgusting, rude, narcissistic, and most of all dangerous to everyone. His entire life was spent saving people, and here was his boyfriend, polluting both of their lungs like it was nothing.

He'd told him not to of course. "I told you not to smoke in here!" he'd said. "I just gave you the best orgasm you have ever experienced, shut up and let me finish my cigarette," James had said. And that was the end of it. No discussion. No debate. He knew he couldn't fight the man... But still!

It was his kitchen!

He tried not to display his annoyance too much, because surely that was what he wanted. James was the type to be amused at his frustration, not concerned. And that irked him.

As it was, James always got his way. Always. In the bedroom, when they were out, when they were just alone, no matter where they went, he had to consent to the older man's will. Sometimes he didn't mind, as he usually enjoyed anything James did. But it was at times like these... When he wouldn't put that damn cigarette out!... that he wanted to strangle his boyfriend.

He wasn't usually a violent person, but sometimes dealing with James called for it. He made him so angry at times... And then in others he made him swoon. Was that normal? Hanging all over a guy's every word, but wish he'd go crawl in a hole and die at the same time?

No no, he wasn't like that at all. He loved James. As much as he hated to admit it, caring for him was the only thing he could do. Not only was he a gorgeous old man, but he was the most interesting and... well... captivating person Sebastian had ever met. And he thoroughly enjoyed his company.

Not when smoke was blaring in his face though.

He had been putting away the dishes with dismayed thoughts bubbling in his head when James asked him to sit.

'Finally!' he thought when the cigarette was finally extinguished. He smiled at the action, putting the last bowl away and moving toward the table, sitting down. He raised an eyebrow at James' words, wondering what this would be about.

"What is it?" he said.

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

James took a moment to rearrange himself and to study Sebastian. There was no delicate way of stating the matter at hand. Nudging the ash tray out of the way, James leaned forward, steepling his hands and resting his elbows on the table.

"You're an emotional man, I think we'd both agree on that. I, however am not. For good reason too," James cleared his throat lightly and reached forward, taking one of Sebastian's hands in his own. Idly he played with the younger man's hand, tracing his fingers over the palm. James was quite fond of those hands. The nails though, the perfectly manicured nails, were a bit much.

"Sebastian, I can never love you," James finally said after a pause. He looked closely at Sebastian's face, waiting for a reaction. He expected some sort of outburst or, as was more common with young Sebastian, a moment of stunned silence followed by denial, then an outburst. James already knew that sometimes Sebastian had a hard time with his being in charge all of the time and wouldn't be at all surprised for this last bit to throw him over the edge. To be honest, James was ready for a 'You're just using me' speech.

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian had expected this talk.

By now, it had been made perfectly clear to him that James' goal in their relationship did not include love. While it saddened him, he knew that it was probably impossible for James to love him. At least at his current state that is.

He hoped with all his might that he could possibly change his mind. He wasn't sure how particularly lovable he could be, but everyone seemed to gravitate toward Sebastian without even meaning to. Even though his life was riddled with death and remorse, he always looked on the bright side... Or at least he thought he did.

He wanted James to see that life was meaningless without someone around. He'd be glad if James ever did fall in love with someone, even if it wasn't him. He'd always thought that there was someone out there for everyone, even if that person was hard to find, or you'd given up hope. There was someone even for James, the selfish, egotistical, narcissistic bastard that he is.

So yeah, he knew it was too good to be true. It really didn't surprise him at all. He wasn't worried about his feelings though, really. He'd been hurt before, and survived. He knew he could do it again.

He sighed, leaning on his hand propped up on the table. "I know James. I've known that for a long time."

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

"I know James. I've known that for a long time."

James raised an eyebrow and leaned back. He underestimated young Sebastian's cognitive abilities it seemed. Granted, James hadn't exactly been secretive about it all. James always got what he wanted and usually left right after, making sure that the "No emotions" message rang loud and clear. Recently James had started to stick around for a bit, just for a cup of coffee and some food. It was amusing to stick around mainly because Sebastian had some odd habits that James too delight in witnessing and was always in such a fine mood.

"And you're completely okay with that?" James was surprised that Sebastian seemed to be nonplussed about it all. More than once James had picked up on Sebastian hinting at being in love with him, loving him, or something along those lines. He was also disappointed. James had wanted more of a reaction. He wanted anger, depression, over the top protestations of how he could change. Anything but this calm approach. James wanted to feed off of Sebastian's energy; the lad's emotions are what kept James coming back. They were like an energizing boost. James would bet his fortune on that being directly related to his own lack of emotion. Living vicariously through Sebastian's blushing, flustered nature was something that James was starting to quite like. And this...this reaction was a great let down.

James would bet anything that Sebastian wasn't that okay with it. The boy had an amazing ability to bounce back after failed relationships but it would only take him so far. James didn't know the full extent of the destruction left by unrequited love but he knew logically that it would almost be worse than a broken heart. A small, sadistic part of James wanted to see that. He wanted to build Sebastian up and chip away at him slowly, tear down his defenses and reservations just leave him high and dry. That would be great fun. However, the larger, far more logical portion of James knew that in order to maintain the amazing sex he would have to stay that desire.

There were more ways to hurt someone, easier ways at that, but none of them yeilded the unflinching, passionate obedience James had found in Sebastian.

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

"And you're completely okay with that?"

Sebastian had to laugh half heartedly at that. He ran a hand through his golden brown hair, clearing his throat and steeling his gaze against James'. "No... No not completely," he admitted. It truly did bother him, but what could he do? Break up with him? James was almost the best thing he'd ever had! Almost...

And besides. If he was going to "change" James, as he'd sought out to do, he couldn't very well let on his motives. If he told him he knew that someday he would find love, James would laugh in his face and say it was impossible. Sebastian knew that nothing was impossible, that all things come with thim. If only he could show him that, then maybe he'd see what he was missing.

But as it stood, he was at a fork in the road. One path lead to a broken heart, and the other led to a broken heart. That might not make any sense, but as he looked closer, he realized one broken heart held no memories, just shattered tears that would come if he left James, or if James left him right at this moment. The other side of the coin suggested that the future would be a bright one, if only he was hurt in the end... He thought that that option looked the best, and he'd decided to take it.

He rubbed his temple, gazing up at James through lathargic lids. "I'm not completely okay with it. I'm far from okay with it actually... But that's how you are. I know that now."

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

"I'm not completely okay with it. I'm far from okay with it actually... But that's how you are. I know that now."

James scrutinized Sebastian for a moment. The boy was plotting something, James could sense it. He could practically see the gears turning in the lad's head but he couldn't see to what end. That was annoying for someone who took great pride in knowing everything. Knowing well that Sebastian didn't approve of cigarettes and, having been deprived of a decent reaction, James lit up another one. He always smoked when he felt like things could be going better. So far, nothing had gone to plan and James really didn't like that.

"While I am disappointed in your lack of reaction, I'm glad we don't actually have to discuss this," James took a puff from the cigarette and chased it down with a sip of tea. It was pathetic for the boy to keep a tin of tea in his cupboard just for James. Pathetic and sickeningly considerate. James knew that young Sebastian couldn't stand tea and yet he obliged James. He reminded James of a dog, so eager to please. James didn't doubt that he could smack Sebastian upside the head with a two by four and still fuck him in the same day.

"That's settled. If you'd look in my coat pockets, Sebastian, I bought a trinket for you," James pointed at his coat that was still thrown over Sebastian's couch from last night. "I thought you'd enjoy the sentimentality of it all,"

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian had immediately glared at James the moment he lit the cigarette. He was so very tired of those things, always another one in his mouth soon after the next. He could tell he'd lit this one just to annoy him, and he rolled his eyes at it with a bothered smirk.

Lack of reaction? What did that mean...? Oooooh... So he liked it when he threw fits and cried? Turning to get up for the "trinket," he smirked at this newfound knowledge. Perhaps Sebastian would play this to his advantage. He couldn't exactly tell when James expected a real reaction from him, but he could always tease him with hints of it. Maybe it would get a reaction out of him.

He fumbled through the pockets of James' coat, not finding anything. "James, its not--" Suddenly, he felt a small box land in his palm. He pulled it out slowly, staring at it in awe. "Here."

It was a box in a similar size for a ring. He walked back to James, never taking his eyes off it. He stopped in front of the man, finally looking away from it up to him.

"Is this... Is this what I think it is?"

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

James quirked an eyebrow, amused at the boy's reaction. He had expected that at least, the awe and the energy coming from the boy. Even if the discussion hadn't gotten the reaction he had wanted from him, James still knew how to control Sebastian. Puffing out a smoke ring (an ability that never ceased to amuse him) James plucked the box from Sebastian's hands.

"Don't go getting emotional," James sniffed, opening the case. There was a ring inside of it but it did not hold any 'special' attatchment. James wanted to world to know that he claimed Sebastian and the scar wasn't enough. The normal world reacted to material markings, rings included. James pulled the ring up from the velvet cushion and held it out for Sebastian to take. Calmly, he explained why he got the ring, citing his selfishness and his intense desire to own Sebastian.

Leaning back in the chair, crossing his legs and re-adjusting the robe, James licked his lips. "That doesn't mean anything, Sebastian, beyond possession. Think of a dog, that's the collar," On the inside of the ring, James had his initials inscribed so that Sebastian couldn't forget who bought it for him, who owned him.

Sebastian had given his word to be James's for as long as he wanted him. James remembered the words well and wasn't going to forget them anytime soon. Not many people have given James such an allowance before and those who had tried to get out almost right away. Adler, for instance, fought him at every turn. But, Sebastian was dumb enough, blinded by 'feelings' enough for that not to happen.

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian demurely took the ring in his hand, staring at it in the palm of it. His eyebrows raised, and he leaned against James' legs casually. He traced the contours of the ring with his index finger, smiling when he saw the engravement on the inside.

James may have thought of this ring as a dog collar, but Sebastian saw it as a declaration.

Not of love, but of slight affection. He doubted James would go to all this trouble for anyone else. He was falling into his little "trap" so to speak. He looked up at James and smiled happily, taking the trinket and sliding onto his finger. His left ring finger.

He would wear it like a wedding ring. Not that it was, but it clearly meant more to the both of them than a simple piece of jewelry. He wanted to wear it for James, to show that he belonged to him. Because he did. He belonged to James, with James, for James, against James. Anything having to do with the word James and the word belong. Because finally, for once in his life, he felt it.

Belonging.

He smirked. "I'd never get emotional, James." He placed his hands on the older man's knees, looking at him through batted lashes. "What about you? Are you feeling sentimental?"

How he loved to annoy him.

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

James rolled his eyes and blew a jet of smoke at Sebastian's face. The boy was trying to get under James's skin and the older man just wasn't in the mood. Slapping Sebastian's hands away, James stood abruptly and went into the bed room. He had an appointment to keep in a couple of hours and he needed some time away from Sebastian to clean himself up and compose himself. He was meating with the Dean of the university to petition himself a few extra classes to teach. James had gotten bored just teaching Criminal Law and Civic Law, he wanted a literature block as well.

Being the most brilliant scholarly mind of century, surely he was allowed that.

James went to Sebastian's closet and pulled out the garment bag he kept there. Unzipping it, James revealed his spare suit that he kept. Tossing the outfit on the bed, James began to go through the motions of getting dressed. In the back of his mind he knew that Sebastian was probably pissed off at him for ignoring him, but James could care less. He was used to the boy getting angry at him for various things, most of them trivial.

"I have to be off shortly, shall we meet up again later?"

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian had rolled his eyes behind James' back, sticking out his tongue childishly as the older man walked toward the bedroom. He was being difficult, but... It was James. He had become so very used to the dismissive man he called his boyfriend. He was very lucky that their relationship had lasted the way that it had.

He looked at the ring on his finger, leaning against the table and turning the ring over with his other fingers. He sighed contently, pausing before he decided to follow James into their bedroom.

Unfortunately, his mind had other plans for him.

He was in a garden. It was warm and bright, vividly clear and colorful, like a movie. He was sitting on a bench, the breeze whipping at his face gently, and birds chirped above his head. His face stretched into a smile, and he felt completely at peace. He'd never had a vision like this before, and he decided to stay here, at least until something dreadful happened, because something always did. He could never catch a break.

He leaned back on the bench, wondering who's future or past this was, unless it was his own. He couldn't remember ever being in a garden, though usually his visions weren't this clear unless they were from the past, and even then, the most recent past. Could this be a freak accident, and him actually be seeing something that never existed, and never will?

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

James was halfway through buttoning up his shirt before he noticed that Sebastian hadn't followed him into the bedroom. James knew that Sebastian would have followed him, either to make some snotty remark or to pick a fight. Either way, James had intended on it ending with them in bed again. Pausing, James walked back out of the bedroom, looking into the kitchen where he had left Sebastian. The boy was standing there, spaced out with a look on his face that meant only one thing.

When James had learned about Sebastian's visions he had been extremely skeptical about them until he began to witness them more often. It was one of the side effects spending nearly all of one's free time with one person. James had come to know more about Sebastian than he originally had wanted to know. James leaned his hip against the doorway, watching Sebastian carefully. There wasn't any sure fire way to know what was going on inside of Sebastian's head but James would get a feeling.

Sebastian's lips quirked up in the corners ever so slightly before returning to their more relaxed position. James took that to mean that he was happy in the vision. So far, there wasn't any death or an accident. That was unusual. Sebastian almost always had visions about death.

Thinking it only a matter of time, James contented himself with simply waiting.

[SEBASTIAN TIMOTHY MARTIN]

Sebastian leaned his elbows on his knees, watching as a butterfly flew by. This was far too peaceful to be one of HIS visions, but he was enjoying it, nonetheless. It was almost as if he could stay there, and forget about all his worries, just like that! No more visions, just this nice garden and the warm light of the sun to bask in. The flowers flowed in the breeze, and he stood up to pick a beautiful white rose from a nearby bush.

Unfortunately, he didn't realize the rose had thorns. It pricked his fingers, and he yelped loudly, both in the vision and in real life, mimicking his movements there as well. He dropped the rose in the grass, and blood dripped from his fingers, staining the rose red. He backed up, wiping his hand on his shirt, turning back toward the bench to go sit down.

He jumped when suddenly a man stood in front of him.

"Careful with the roses. They'll turn on you."

The man's face was blurred, but he looked a bit older than Sebastian. "Thanks, Mister."

Wait... That wasn't his voice... That was... That sounded like it came from the Bronx or something!

What was going on?! Was this really a vision?

"That blood..." The man's face kept getting blurrier and blurrier. In fact, the whole scene kept getting distorted. "That blood... The roses should be that color... Maybe you can help me... 'paint' them... Like Alice painting the roses red.... Such a pretty color."

Sebastian stumbled back, falling slightly into the bushes. "St-stay back! I'm warnin' ya! I've got pepperspray!"

Pepperspray? He didn't have pepperspray! Oh, God... This WAS a real vision! He was going to die!

[JAMES MORIARTY EDWARDS]

James frowned when Sebastian yelped and held his hand. Something had happened to him. James carefully moved closer, not wanting to disturb the boy unless he had to.

He wasn't that happy about Sebastian seeing these visions. They caused way too many problems for James's taste. Too often James had shown up at their apartment to find Sebastian cleaning some cut or icing some bruise he had gotten from trying to stop a vision from happening. Other times, James would find Sebastian in such a state of depression that James could do little to pull him out of it.

The visions were ruining their lives.

James turned to make himself another cup of tea when Sebastian made more noise. Turning around, James saw the frantic, fearful expression on his face. Enough was enough. James abandoned his cup of tea and went to Sebastian.

"Sebastian," He said firmly, laying his hands on his shoulders. When he didn't respond, James repeated his name and administered a firm slap to the boy's cheek.