Miracle Man: Interviewing Dr. James Faustus

[THE INTERVIEWER]

Good morning, Doctor Faustus! It's a pleasure to have the chance to speak with you at last. How're you feeling today?

[yolanda7g]

I'm feelin' good, feelin' good. Nice to speak with you, for sure. You're looking very nice today, by the way. Very nice.

So what, you guys were actually looking for an interview with me? Ha, well I always wanted to be in the New York Times. You guys do great work. Just so you know, I'm not one of those people who are all timid and stuff. You got a question, I'll answer it. None of that 'no comment' mess. I was reading the paper the other day, read an interview where someone did that, and couldn't stand it.

I say if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, know what I mean?

So hit me with your best shot. I'm an open book.

[THE INTERVIEWER]

Oh, thank you...I think. Yes, you have quite the reputation not only in New York, but internationally. Glad to hear you're at ease.

So tell us, were you always inspired to become a doctor?

[yolanda7g]

Oh yes, my reputation is impressive, isn't it?

Well to answer your question, when I make a decision to do something, I just do it. No ifs ands or buts. Somewhere in my high school days, I knew I wanted to be a doctor. And no, it wasn't because of those terrible medical dramas people keep talking about. I wasn't House or some Grey's Anatomy star wanna be, that was never my thing. I was my own man. From day one. I was numero uno. And that got me to where I am today.

So I guess I've wanted to be a doctor for a very long time. Haha, let me stop rantin' before I answer a question that you're going to ask me. I'm tellin ya, you get me started and I'll just keep goin, you might not need to ask any questions. I'm doin' all the work for ya.

What can I say? I like talking about about myself, haha.

[THE INTERVIEWER]

That's very intriguing - and yes, talk as much as you want to, as that is the point of an interview.

What was running through your mind when you were under pressure performing what some people refer to as "miracles" through helping and saving the lives of others?

[yolanda7g]

To be honest, it's really all about focus. When you're in the O.R., it's game on. You gotta know what the hell you're doing--oops, I'm sorry. Can I say that? You're gonna censor that out right?

Anyway, you just gotta be on top of it. So that's what's going through my mind really. It's the procedure. Its the process. Because one mess up, and it's over, man. No joke. And that's what many people like to criticize about me...my methods are very experimental. There's a lot of risk involved. See, no one has the guts to try the things I try, but you'll never see results unless you do it yourself. But taking that risk and knowing what you're doing gives us people like Sarah Reese. Crippled one day, up walking the next after a surgery and physical therapy.

But I can only do that because my mind is in the right place. I'm not leavin things up to some metaphysical force out there, hoping things will work out for the best. That's my hands working on that operating table, and that's what I'm focused on. I know there's a risk, but if I keep my mind on what I'm doing and get the job done, then I should be alright. I mean...the patient too, of course.

[THE INTERVIEWER]

Hell's alright, you can say it. Your focus and determination is admirable...but doesn't it ever worry you that one of your risks or games might go wrong? Nevertheless, you have inspiring courage.

Forgive me but I must ask you about the incident at the Capulet family's costume ball hosted at their world-famous manor. There have been many rumours circling around regarding drugging of drinks and general mayham and we'd like to finally clear them up. What actually happened?

[yolanda7g]

Oh yeah, but something could always go wrong. That's the nature of the job. There's always a risk involved. If you always worry about the risk, you can't get nothing done! I always say, would you rather sit up there twiddling your thumbs worrying about risk while a man is dying? Because there ain't no risk in that--there is a 100 percent chance that the man is gonna die if you don't take a risk. You know what I'm sayin? Plus, if you know what you're doing like I do, there's no problem. If you know what you're doing, you know what you're doing. Simple as that. Did I mention that I always know what I'm doing?

And as far as the Capulet Ball, that was a crazy time. I don't know anything about the drugging of drinks, there were so many people there, anyone could have slipped anything in that place. Who knows? All I know is that a lot of people were acting psycho in there. And if you did your research, you'd know I was the victim in all of that mess! I had this really nice suit, I mean, it was nice, but it got ruined because people just decided to go buck wild up in there.

Craziness, I tell you. Craziness.

[THE INTERVIEWER]

Well, minimal research had been conducted, but none of it cleared your name of anything and many of what was being said seemed a little dodgy and exagerated. That's why direct clarification was requested. Thank you for doing so.

You suit was ruined? That is a bummer. Hopefully that was the maximum degree of damage that occured at the Capulet Ball. Since you haven't spoken of the other guests I can only assume that you did not see if anyone got seriously hurt.

Were you invited to the Capulet Ball by personal invitation because you knew any members of the family prior to the party?

[yolanda7g]

Cleared my name? Man, didn't know I was on trial in this interview, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Like I said, I'll answer any question you got. So if you're suggesting I had anything to do with all of the craziness that went on at that party, you can quote me on this: I don't know what happened. I was just as clueless as everyone else there. And yeah it was a bummer that my suit got ruined because yes, that was the extent of the damage. And so you know, that was damage enough.

And yeah, I was invited. If I remember right, the "anybody who's anybody" crowd got invited. Naturally they'd want me at a party like that. The Capulet's knew what was up. You just can't have a party with out Faustus in it, haha.

[THE INTERVIEWER]

Well, think of it this way - now the question is answered, and you won't need to be bugged about it anymore. Hopefully.

Is there a situation unrelated to your practice that you've been placed in from the past that sticks out in your mind as particularily alarming?

[yolanda7g]

Ah...heh. Well I'm sure everyone has those moments right? Sometimes you get yourself in a mess where you wished you could go back a few steps and make a better decision and I'd say that's quite alarming. I think I could name a few times where that's happened to me. But ya know, you can't live in the past. And no one's perfect right? Unfortunately, The Big Man Upstairs didn't wire us that way and definitely didn't wire me that way, haha.

But I guess on another note there was this one time I got robbed for my wallet. Let's just say I was not happy. Ya know, something really needs to be done about the crime in this city, because getting robbed in a park in open daylight is in no way okay, you know what I'm sayin?