Interviewing Irene Adler || Issue December 2010

[THE REPORTER]

Here we have it, folks! Today we're going to be interviewing the young, beautiful Irene Adler. Consider yourselves lucky, because this is the first interview we've had with Ms. Adler and she's quite a character from what I've heard.

Please, Ms. Adler, take a seat. Make yourself comfortable. You can have some water if you'd like.

[IRENE ADLER]

You know I don't offer interviews to just anyone , especially to a reporter from the New york times. So I would ask you to make my name in big red letters, and no water for me thank you ...Though I must say if you removed those glasses and you took of that shirt we could have a party .. though just remember that it would not be personal I don't deal with personal to well. I could use some form of fruity drink. Have any of those mister...

[THE REPORTER]

*coughs and tries not to shift uncomfortably* Uh, right. Let's keep this as impersonal as possible. I'm only here to ask you a few or more questions. I'm sorry, we do not offer any alcoholic drinks. Before we begin, I must ask you: Why should a woman like you be carrying a gun? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that illegal unless you have been authorized to hold one?

[IRENE ADLER]

Alright Alright .. lover boy we will keep it simple. As to the question of why I carry a gun well I not only carry a gun I carry grenades under my thighs , a laser under my right breast, a glass cutter under my left breast and 2 mini Thompson very useful in the field. But the true reason is that I am a very experienced woman in the field of returning things that are where they don't belong. It could be illegal but nobody should know now should they unless they find out through the interview by which I ask you to keep it secret.

[THE REPORTER]

Mhmm. Normally these interviews are done for the public and telling them what they have the right to know. We'll be telling them what we want, Ms. Adler.

*coughs* So, what exactly would you call yourself? As in, what exactly is in the job title and description.

[IRENE ADLER]

" Ok so long as you keep this between us. " smiles ." well darling that is a little bit more trickier... you see I handle illegal buisnesses, smuggling drugs to new york , city, stealing museum artifacts, conning men, stealing wallets, and of course my favorite the usual stealing diamonds. Does that suffice a good explanation my pretty. Smirks.

[THE REPORTER]

*raises an eyebrow* Don't you find that a little, er, reckless to be revealing such hurtful information? I, as a reporter, can do anything I want with these facts. Aren't you the least bit worried that with what you have provided us, you are likely to be arrested? What reason do you have to be over-confident and a tad cocky?

[IRENE ADLER]

" Oh noooo, not in the least worried at all. in fact I could say that a certain report could disappear if he or she reveals this information... is that clear as water, or shall I put it a little more roughly love. But anyways I like you a lot, and I know you would not reveal certain information. You know why they call me.. Because I am the best of the best.

[THE REPORTER]

I'm sure you are. Now, here's a question, it's more out of personal indulgence than anything else, but there has been word going around that you are involved with the Detective Holmes, is this fact true?

[IRENE ADLER]

: Laughs: Hm we know each other personally .does that clear things up.