Nothing last forever. Irene Adler.

[IRENE ADLER]

NOTHING LAST FOREVER.

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<sub>Today was OK, there was nothing much to be done. He, " Archibald " is asking me weather I am still here, in the business. I told him yes, but some days I just wish I could go back to London.

That was were I left my heart, then why do I also feel like I'm so alone in this world.The people who I have met, keep me away. Don't let me invite my self in. Or is it because I usually do not find the time to socialize. Or is it because I am just to selfish. Yet proof of this is when I am told of it. So what is correct, what is wrong. What should I do.

People can always get the wrong ideas, yet you can always change them. But could she change herself. Change who she is, the way she dresses, eats and smells. Guess that was what they meant that the wicked always paid for their sins. So she must be the greatest sinner of all.

Even her love , confessed with his body actions that she was indeed horrible. So if he said so, then others must think the same. But what solution could be asked to change, what inexplicable changes would she have to do to transform from the butterfly she was. To a moth.

There is no harm , in trying. She would have to let her dye wash away, pluck the fake lashes fro her eyes. Remove the contacts from her eyes, return the color of her nails to plain flesh pale color. Just be normal for one day. Could she leave all the glamor and glitter behind.

Yes , it is time. But were to start that is the bigger question of all.

Irene .</sub>

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this baby here was made by irene

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word count296mood happy and sad and happy and sadtagsSoda pop, Dallas winston, Sherlock Holmes, Faustus, Fagin etc

[IRENE ADLER]

NOTHING LAST FOREVER.

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<sub>He was drinking again, like the mad man that he is.
"Archibald", a boss who I once respected .
Now one that I don't ever want to hear the name for again.
What is it about men and their women.
Do the women deserve to be punished , treated like a dog and hit like a dog because she did not obey him.
I still have the bruises , only because I did not go to bed with him does not mean I deserve to be the one punished.
After that I locked my self in my room, and did not come out till a few hours later.
What I found was a weeping wimp with a fetish to hold me and hug me.

Why does this happen to be every night.
Will the next thing be rape and abuse.
What will happen of me and my self and everything that goes around me.
Yet at the same time , I have started to take the changes that I promised in my last entry.
My hair has turned a slightly dark orange brown colored.
I am not wearing any makeup at all either as well.
Also I have started to find new clothes and found 2 shirts that are long like my channel dresses of a Cotton material both in white.
Also the combat boots have left as well as the dark almost goth colored shoes and I am applying some more subtle colors by Candy shoes line and also Miu Miu shoes line, which have fitted perfectly well into the apparel of my new image.

But , this is now, and now what I have to do is find a way to get away from all of this crap.
Try and find a space that I will feel comfortable.
One that I wont receive a hit on my face ,or a shover or a push to get me moving and feeling alive and well.
In my own world, i would be the girl who I once knew, calm sweet and shy.
Then again what is real, and what is fake.
Nothing. The beating tonight will be the same, as beating of tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.
Nothing else matters but what is happening now in the present day and in the present moment.
If I were to jump , I would jump a thousand miles.
If i were to sleep and never wake up, until my prince charming came to me well then that was my path.

Yet now the boss ,and the man who is so far away " Sherlock " whom I love with all my dying heart.
Is not here to save me. Every night when Archibald tells me if we should get married ,and I deny him he always gets so angry.
So upset over one answer. I don't know what he would do to me if this continued.
At first I would control him, and then when it happened Again I was lost and did not know what to do, then the drinking started and then the abuse.
Then he wanted sex when he was drunk. Guess that is why I go out every night and never come back, because I guess I am to scared to face reality with a new light.
But when I come back, hes always at the door and wants to hold me and cry. I feel such a pity, and despair mixed together.
To get away from it all, may cost me my life. But because I have no other opportunities in my life, or in this city I have to stay.

For now staying here is my best option, a caged swan.
While on the outside I would be a free bird, one that does not need her wings to be clipped every time that she does something wrong.
One that rejoices in life, and enjoys every minute of it.
But then again I have to also hide my tracks so that this devil, who owns me does not know what I am doing with his money or with his business.
That everything that was once his ,belongs to me and only me.
I follow no ones rules and will not stand to be beaten down to death by a wimp like Archibald.

Irene.</sub>

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this baby here was made by Irene

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word count663mood AngertagsArchibald