Post by MONA LISA DRAGOTI on Jul 21, 2011 9:48:49 GMT -5
Mona had never had a good relationship with her mother, in fact it was the relationship that caused Mona to halt relationships with any other person in her life. Her mother was one of the reasons the only person she held close was Dolores. Yet though all the years of alcohol abuse, and hateful glares, she always loved her mother. Until her parents had kicked her out on the streets because of her sexuality. In that moment of pure fear and shock, Mona felt as if her world had come crashing down around her. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, or speak, or hell even move. She thought that even in her mother's drunken state she would still love her, it's why she told them the truth. She thought that they would still love her. but that day shattered any illusions of love that she still had in her mind.She knew now that her parents didn't love her, they never had. but yet deep down inside of Mona's heart she wished that somehow, someway, her parents would love her. It was a deep down desire that she wanted to come true. But it was a hopeless fairy tale that she knew would never come true. Mona didn't believe in fairy tales, that was Lo's job. But she still desired it , until that afternoon.
She had been enjoying her weekend, all she had to do was go down to the post office and mail some letters. It was all very simple, She could walk down to the post office , and then go home and curl up under her covers in bed. It was all she wanted in a Saturday, to sleep. She so rarely got any sleep during the week because she was so busy. So weekends were her sleep day, she rarely went out or even got dressed. She just laid in her PJ's and watched T.V., it was perfect in her eyes. But the letters couldn't wait to be mailed so she got out of bed and pulled on her clothes. Simple black jeans with blue v neck top and grey hoddie over. Very simple, but all she planned on doing was go to the post office and then back home. She set off on her way and sooner then she thought she made it to the Post office. Mona stood there in line thinking of absolutely nothing, she didn't like to think so much on weekends, what was the point. She was so distracted by her mindless thinking that she didn't notice the person who stood behind her. Then a hand was grabbing her arm and forced her to turn around. Mona was about to tell them off or hit them until she saw the face of her mother staring right back at her.Mona and her mother looked scary alike, almost like exact copies. The differences were their eyes, Mona's a clear green-hazel, while her mother's was bloodshot brown. Mona felt her breathing speed up as she stared at her mothers face. She felt tears try and break lose but she held it back."Mama...", she whispered very quietly.
Mona's mother looked at her daughter before bringing her hand up to cup her cheek. She pulled Mona closer and looked her up and down.Mona was accustomed to this, her mother always looked her up and down as if she was going to be in a pageant, Mona always hated it but she stood still and let her mother look. That small desire for her mother's love came rushing back full force. She hadn't seen her parents since the day that they kicked her out of the house. Maybe her mother had change? Maybe she realized that she still wanted Mona,even though she was lesbian?Mona wanted to keep down her hopes but she couldn't help but beg in her mind. Then her mother spoke.
"Monica, you were my perfect little girl. So pretty and so young, I knew you would become just like me. She stroked Mona's cheek gently while speaking, her other hand still holding on to Mona's arm tightened. "But I was wrong, your nothing like me. Your not my daughter." Mona felt her eyes go wider and then her mother pushed her roughly backwards until Mona stumbled away,"Your just a Monster in my daughters skin. My daughter would never like girls, she was perfect. No your a Monster." Mona couldn't move as her mother spoke to her. She just stared wide eyes at the woman as she turned a walked away. Mona stood there in shock, she felt as if she couldn't move. her mother had called her a Monster. Mona put her letters in her hoddie pocket as she exited the post office. But instead of going the way back home she went the opposite way. She had no idea where she was going all she knew was that she had to get away.
Mona walked through out the streets of New York, trying to think of anything but her mother's words. She didn't know where she was or where she was going, she just walked. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, it was another call from Lo. Mona didn't reach to answer her phone. She knew her friend wondered where she was , she had reason to, Mona had been out so long that the once sunny sky had turned into a red twilight. She could answer her phone, it would just make Mona think, and that was the last thing Mona wanted to do. She just wanted to wonder mindlessly. Even as the first few sprinkles of rain fell down on her face, she still kept walking.
Then the rain had started to pour down and Mona couldn't even see. She ducked quickly under a buildings front entrance. she watched the rain for a few minutes before turning towards the buildings doors. They were decorated in a complicated design that revolved around a cross. She opened the doors quietly and slipped inside the building. She looked down the lit room, pews lined either side of a red carpet that led down to an alter. only a few people sat in the large room. Mona walked forward down the aisle. She sat down in one of the empty pews that were in the church. She looked up at the beautiful painting that stood behind the alter. Mona didn't go to church on a usual basis, She never did as a child. But she did believe in God, she just didn't know why. maybe it was just a basic instinct that all humans were born with. It wasn't like God had given her anything to be thankful for. Her parents hated her, She lived her childhood through alcohol and rough hands, She got beat up a lot as a child. What was there to be thankful for?
Mona continued to look at the alter and the painting behind it. She felt her mother's words come floating back into her mind and felt her tears slid down her rain soaked face. "Do you think I'm a Monster too God?" she whispered in the air. She felt her heart sink down and sadness wash over her more. Of course God did, because she was one. Her mother had been right, she was nothing but a Monster, pretending to be something good.
She had been enjoying her weekend, all she had to do was go down to the post office and mail some letters. It was all very simple, She could walk down to the post office , and then go home and curl up under her covers in bed. It was all she wanted in a Saturday, to sleep. She so rarely got any sleep during the week because she was so busy. So weekends were her sleep day, she rarely went out or even got dressed. She just laid in her PJ's and watched T.V., it was perfect in her eyes. But the letters couldn't wait to be mailed so she got out of bed and pulled on her clothes. Simple black jeans with blue v neck top and grey hoddie over. Very simple, but all she planned on doing was go to the post office and then back home. She set off on her way and sooner then she thought she made it to the Post office. Mona stood there in line thinking of absolutely nothing, she didn't like to think so much on weekends, what was the point. She was so distracted by her mindless thinking that she didn't notice the person who stood behind her. Then a hand was grabbing her arm and forced her to turn around. Mona was about to tell them off or hit them until she saw the face of her mother staring right back at her.Mona and her mother looked scary alike, almost like exact copies. The differences were their eyes, Mona's a clear green-hazel, while her mother's was bloodshot brown. Mona felt her breathing speed up as she stared at her mothers face. She felt tears try and break lose but she held it back."Mama...", she whispered very quietly.
Mona's mother looked at her daughter before bringing her hand up to cup her cheek. She pulled Mona closer and looked her up and down.Mona was accustomed to this, her mother always looked her up and down as if she was going to be in a pageant, Mona always hated it but she stood still and let her mother look. That small desire for her mother's love came rushing back full force. She hadn't seen her parents since the day that they kicked her out of the house. Maybe her mother had change? Maybe she realized that she still wanted Mona,even though she was lesbian?Mona wanted to keep down her hopes but she couldn't help but beg in her mind. Then her mother spoke.
"Monica, you were my perfect little girl. So pretty and so young, I knew you would become just like me. She stroked Mona's cheek gently while speaking, her other hand still holding on to Mona's arm tightened. "But I was wrong, your nothing like me. Your not my daughter." Mona felt her eyes go wider and then her mother pushed her roughly backwards until Mona stumbled away,"Your just a Monster in my daughters skin. My daughter would never like girls, she was perfect. No your a Monster." Mona couldn't move as her mother spoke to her. She just stared wide eyes at the woman as she turned a walked away. Mona stood there in shock, she felt as if she couldn't move. her mother had called her a Monster. Mona put her letters in her hoddie pocket as she exited the post office. But instead of going the way back home she went the opposite way. She had no idea where she was going all she knew was that she had to get away.
Mona walked through out the streets of New York, trying to think of anything but her mother's words. She didn't know where she was or where she was going, she just walked. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, it was another call from Lo. Mona didn't reach to answer her phone. She knew her friend wondered where she was , she had reason to, Mona had been out so long that the once sunny sky had turned into a red twilight. She could answer her phone, it would just make Mona think, and that was the last thing Mona wanted to do. She just wanted to wonder mindlessly. Even as the first few sprinkles of rain fell down on her face, she still kept walking.
Then the rain had started to pour down and Mona couldn't even see. She ducked quickly under a buildings front entrance. she watched the rain for a few minutes before turning towards the buildings doors. They were decorated in a complicated design that revolved around a cross. She opened the doors quietly and slipped inside the building. She looked down the lit room, pews lined either side of a red carpet that led down to an alter. only a few people sat in the large room. Mona walked forward down the aisle. She sat down in one of the empty pews that were in the church. She looked up at the beautiful painting that stood behind the alter. Mona didn't go to church on a usual basis, She never did as a child. But she did believe in God, she just didn't know why. maybe it was just a basic instinct that all humans were born with. It wasn't like God had given her anything to be thankful for. Her parents hated her, She lived her childhood through alcohol and rough hands, She got beat up a lot as a child. What was there to be thankful for?
Mona continued to look at the alter and the painting behind it. She felt her mother's words come floating back into her mind and felt her tears slid down her rain soaked face. "Do you think I'm a Monster too God?" she whispered in the air. She felt her heart sink down and sadness wash over her more. Of course God did, because she was one. Her mother had been right, she was nothing but a Monster, pretending to be something good.
