Aftermath (Mona/Tommy)

[MONA LISA DRAGOTI]

((sorry this is so long Kay, I didn't even realize how much I wrote until I was done))

"For the last and final time I said leave me the alone! I don't care if the doctor told you to check on me I told you to fuck off!"

Mona glared at the stammering nurse as she tried not to cry or trip over her own feet. Mona knew that she had to be new, everyone else in the hospital knew better then to try speak to her. In fact they knew that unless the wanted to be cut by her sharp tongue that they should walk in the other direction when she was spotted. Mona like it better that way, it was better to keep people at a distance then to let them to close and hurt her even more.

She would die from heartache before she got another chance to kill herself.

The nurse tried to put on a stern face to order Mona to go back into the hospital room and lay on the bed and wait till the doctor could come check in with her. but Mona couldn't let that happen, if one nurse got away with bossing her around, they all would try. And Mona had spent too much time before her suicide working here to let people walk over her again.

"Don't even try," Mona spoke before she could, "I don't need a two bit medical flunky telling me what to do, if the doctor really wanted to check on me then he would of come himself instead of sending a nurse like you." Mona said the last word with as much venom that she could muster.

The nurse's eyes widened and soon was crying before running down the hall away from Mona. She watched before turning to glare at all the other nurse staff who stopped to watch the show. They all looked away and went back to work at the ice in her eyes.

Mona promptly walked out and away from them all to the hospital doors that led to the garden. She pushed the open and let them bang as she walked out and they slammed shut. She face was held in a fierce glare that had people quickly wanting to leave the garden to escape her rage. And oh how she had a lot of rage.

She had once been a girl that could be very nice, often someone that others came to speak to.She'd tried her best to be supportive and always give good advice. Mona liked to call that phase of life her 'ignorance' phase. In her eyes it didn't last long, she no longer was ignorant of the flaws that others held. Now she could see them with great clarity.

Mona walked down the paved sidewalk that wrapped around the garden and sat on a bench under a tree. For all her might and anger, it sure did leave her quickly, leaving nothing but emptiness to fill it's place. The fire anger sparked in her eyes died down to a glaze as she stared out at nothing. Her fell backwards and she was staring at the tree branches above her.

This was the aftermath of a suicide survivor, they only emotions she ever felt was anger, despair, or nothingness. And now all the anger was drained out of her leaving only despair or nothingness. Mona already knew which one would dominate, she was never so lucky to have nothingness stay long.

So as she sat there, head back looking up at the tangled tree branches, silent tears fell from her eyes. She didn't even reach an arm up to wipe them away, she was so used to them that she rarely even noticed them on her face.

She wished she was dead, and because she wished this she moved out of her apartment. She had told Dolores it was only temporary, until she found a place nice enough that they could both move in together. But that was a lie. Mona had enough money that she could live anywhere, but instead she chose a small broken down apartment the size of a walk in closet. She knew deep in her heart that she didn't deserve better then that.

Eventually she would give her money to Dolores so she could find a place to live happily, without Mona. Of course she didn't plan on being around long enough to find out if that would come true. But she could always delude herself in stupid fantasies.It was the only symbol of happy thoughts she ever had. She had no more dreams, no more hopes, no more goals.

Only anger, despair, and nothingness.

[TOMMY "THANATOS" KRISTOFFERSON]

Most orderlies and nurses didn't like working on what they not-so-affectionately called Death Row. Terminal patients were lined up in a baby blue wing and kept happy until they kicked it. Thomas liked it though, he really did. It was peaceful and a bit sad. But the sad bit wasn't too much. More often than not, the sadness came from the prolonged suffering, not the death itself. So many of the patients wanted to go. Their bodies were failing them slowly and they could do nothing except sit there and let their minds deteriorate with it. That was the sad part. Amazing people, amazing minds, getting worn down day by day by the helplessness that hung over the ward like a plague.

Thomas couldn't count how many times one of his patients asked him to put them out of their misery. An air bubble into their IV, a pillow over their face, anything.

He couldn't count how many times he said yes, either. Thomas didn't mind helping them out, not the really bad ones anyway. It made him feel good inside knowing he was helping someone. It wasn't how most people thought of helping, that was for sure, but he thought it was his purpose. That was why he was on this ward. Thomas felt like he was their hero when doctors and medicine had failed them. He looked out for them when their families wouldn't any more or when the family was just using them and waiting for the will to be distributed. He kept them company and made them smile and laugh at the end of their world as they knew it.

Thomas felt important in their lives, unlike his own.

On his break, he always escaped to the hospital garden for a little alone time. He liked the people he took care of, Thomas really did, but he knew he needed his own time in order to be there for them as completely as he could be.

Walking into the garden like any other day, clad in his hospital blues, Thomas thought it would be a nice and peaceful respite. He was proven wrong though when a nurse hurried past him in tears. Frowning a little, Thomas looked over at the patient she had been talking to just a moment earlier.

It was just a young woman. A baby, really, with hard eyes and a stony face. He recognized the emotions as someone who had tried and failed to commit suicide and Thomas felt sad for her.

Calmly, he made his way to her, moving slow so he didn't startle her. He was ready for her to turn that anger onto him but that was okay. One of the steps to acceptance was anger. He dealt with it on his ward all the time. People who were dying still hadn't come to terms and they lashed out, blaming Thomas for their body's revolt. He was okay with that. It made sense to them. They weren't ready to die, they didn't want to die, so they fought. They fought him with words and swinging IV stands.

"Hello." He said in his soft tone that he used only at work. It was meant to comfort and put people at ease. It seldom worked when people were irrationally angry or emotionally unstable like this little girl was. But it never hurt to try. Part of him wanted to chide her about making the nurse cry like a father but Thomas resisted, knowing it wasn't a smart idea in the least. Instead he stopped about six feet away from her and slipped his hands into his pockets, shoulders hunched forward and head tilted to the ground ever so slightly. He wanted her to see that he wasn't a threat. He just wanted to help


((sorry for the delay))

[MONA LISA DRAGOTI]

Mona opened her eyes at the sound of someone saying hello to her. The grimace came on to her face as soon quickly as it left. Her emotions were always like that a flash of something then in a blink it was gone. She lifted her head and stared blankly at the man who stood before her. The bright eyes that she had once in her life were glazed over and dull. Her hands laid in her lap limp and open, she didn't move unless she needed to. She just couldn't bring herself to use her body when she didn't need it. When in her small shitty apartment she laid on her bed and stared at the wall, never moving unless she needed to. She may sleep or just close her eyes, but mostly just wished that she was never saved. She tried not to go outside to the New York streets. That was how she got this way in the first place. The only time she truly went outside was when she had to go to the hospital or Class. And only them because she was forced to.

She looked the man up and down before settling her gaze past him on a flower in a garden behind him. She didn't like looking at people anymore either, when you looked at someone you invited them to talk to you. And Mona hated most of all was talking to someone who didn't see that everything they said was just words to Mona. Words with no meaning but sounds buzzing around in her ears. Mona hated to hear that sound, like a thousand bees in her ears.

"Go away"

It was all she said, she didn't look at him, didn't acknowledge that he worked at the hospital. She didn't care what he was, or what he did. She just wanted him to go away.

To show him that she wanted nothing to do with him she let her body slide till she was laying on the bench sideways. She curled her feet up on the bench next to her and kept her glaze blank and distant.

If he didn't get the message with that move, then he wasn't worth the time the old Mona would of put into him.