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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Oct 7, 2012 22:31:05 GMT -5
Standing by the entrance to the park, Peter shoved his hands further into his leather jacket, double checking again that he was in fact wearing shoes. Scuffed as they were, one of his oldest pairs, they were comfortable enough that he kept forgetting he was wearing them. And seeing as how he was known for forgetting them...well, it was good to check. He really wanted the night to go off without a hitch. He was meeting Gregory for a concert, but it was more than that. Had it just been him and Greg meeting up for a concert in the park as friends, Peter wouldn’t have worried. But they weren’t going as friends. This was officially a date, and that distinction made things difficult.
Yes. Date. Peter did not date, and yet, that was exactly what he and Gregory had been doing for weeks now. And as much as it went against every rule he had, it hadn’t blown up in his face yet. ‘Yet’ was the key word. He was still waiting for the other shoe to fall. Over the past eight years, Peter had come to learn that there was always another shoe, and when it fell, it was crushing. He’d stayed away from other people because of it. He had friends, and he had colleagues, but he was alone in his personal life, and when he did pick people to have some deeper connection with, they were more damaged than he was.
Greg wasn’t...well, he had his issues, but he was practically normal in comparison. What he was doing with Peter was the sixty-four thousand dollar question. Peter knew Greg had good intentions in giving it a shot, but he was actually amazed that they’d made it past the first date, and now his expectations were completely skewed. Greg should have figured out he was a lost cause. Instead, he’d stuck around for the nervousness, the skittishness, and even Peter’s moments of feeling so exposed that he had to put space between them. Dating was too intimate, too exposed, and he felt like he was bumbling through it. What was worse was that Gregory was so nice about it. Even when he looked disappointed, tired, put upon even, he was always quick to reassure Peter that it was alright. He supposed it all came down to the sex. It was the one thing that should have been awkward, but it was the only easy thing between them. They’d fallen into bed quickly – what probably salvaged that disastrous second date – and as far as Peter was concerned, that was alright, and never once had Greg complained about it.
God, the whole thing was screwed up.
But not tonight. Tonight was about the least date-like thing they’d done. They would be outside and there would be the distraction of the music and the crowds of people hanging around. With any luck, everything would go off without a hitch or nervous freak out on his part. He could show Gregory he could handle this and he was getting better at this whole dating thing.
So he checked that he was wearing shoes – again – and waited for Greg.
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Oct 8, 2012 9:49:37 GMT -5
Gregory was not afraid to say he had been excited for tonight. In fact, he'd told Martin the source of his cheeriness, and was able to forgo the annoying fact that Martin seemed a little proud of him for that. Because, well, Peter.
Greg wasn't far from a hopeless romantic really. Not that he'd call himself that, but he became attached easily when he let himself and found it even harder to let go. He knew it might be a bit inappropriate for him to think about any sort of future with Peter, considering the (much) younger man's extreme trepidation that mostly made Gregory feel guilty, but he couldn't help it. He knew their relationship was far from ideal, and they tended to skim over their attempts at serious conversation (like the one where Gregory had tried to make sure Peter didn't think he was creepy because of his age, that hadn't gone very smoothly). He was fairly positive Peter hadn't said a word (though not lied) to his kids about his and Greg's standing based on how they still treated him when he showed up at the park occasionally, and if anybody at work knew besides Martin on his part and Don on Peter's part (who had indeed given him a small "I will kill you" spiel) Gregory was typically clueless.
The subtlety of their relationship didn't bother Greg though, and while Peter's nervousness did, the annoyance was aimed at Greg himself, not Peter. He knew he'd pushed Peter into a relationship somewhat unfairly and blamed himself for how uncomfortable Peter often seemed. Yet he couldn't bring himself to let Peter go, or ever get angry with him.
And, well, the sex was fantastic. Because there was Alfonso, and then there was Seb, but it'd seriously been a while. And while Gregory had urged Peter in he merits of going slowly, Peter could be really freaking convincing, so it hadn't taken long at all for Greg to give in. Strangely, it was during those times that Peter seemed to relax more.
Greg only wanted Peter and himself to be happy really. He just felt he might be getting the unfairly better side of the bargain. Peter's extreme skittishness had occasionally gotten to where Peter felt the need to distance himself from Greg, which Greg tried his hardest to understand. Well, he'd always managed to be understanding, as far as he could tell.
He saw Peter quickly when he arrived at the park, wearing jeans and a comfortable v-neck t-shirt under his jacket. He knew Peter liked music, so he was hoping, as always, that Peter would enjoy himself and stop being self-concious. He seriously hated Peter's inferiority complex, it just made him… sad. "Hey, Peter!"[/b] Greg greeted him when he got closer. Knowing Peter was a bit shy (or, well, clueless might be a better word) in the area of public physical affection unless he was drunk off his ass - something Gregory had quickly learned - he simply smiled warmly. "I think they're going to play some good music here tonight."[/b] Thursday nights' live music at the park was a scheduled thing in the summer, usually hiring experienced orchestras to do nice, typically instrumental covers while people talked on the grass or ate the hotdogs and ice cream that were sold. The songs were usually a little older or traditional American tunes, so they weren't anything the majority of people would complain about. Gregory could already hear the beginnings of some Elvis song he vaguely recognised.
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Oct 10, 2012 21:54:18 GMT -5
"Hey, Peter!"
Peter glanced up sharply when he heard his name called. Greg was a couple yards away, coming closer. Strangely, Peter was relieved. Greg had never stood him up before, but there was a first time for everything. If he had been stood up, he wasn’t sure what he would have done. Probably turned around and gone home for a night of bad TV and a whole tray of cinnamon buns from the bakery two blocks from his apartment. He smiled back at Greg, hands still shoved deep in his pockets, not sure if he was supposed to greet him with more than that. He’d been watching people for the past ten minutes. When couples met there was anything from a hug to a passionate lip lock. Peter...well, he would have been alright with a handshake, so he did nothing because that would look even more suspicious.
"I think they're going to play some good music here tonight."
Peter just nodded. He knew nothing about music. Sure, he knew a lot of church songs, and he knew a lot of country songs, but there was a whole range of music he was clueless about because music had never been a big thing on the ranch. They only picked up an old country station for most of his years growing up so he’d never had an interest in anything else. And no, he did not sing. Ever. Cats being strangled had better pitch, tone, and rhythm than he did. The only thing he was good at when it came to music was dancing, and he most definitely was not about to do that in public.
“Hopefully,” Peter finally replied. “I’ve never been to one of these things before.”
With any luck it would be a good experience. If it didn’t turn out to be, he wouldn’t go back. It was as simple as that. But the look on Greg’s face made it clear that he was looking forward to it. This was the kind of thing Greg liked, though, and he honestly seemed to enjoy time with Peter, so it was probably an ideal date for him. Peter was happy they were doing something outdoors, and he did enjoy Greg’s company, so it would all be alright. As long as he didn’t do something to screw it up, that is.
“So, do we just go in and pick a place on the grass or...?”
He had no idea if there was assigned seating or if they just picked a place or what. Like most of his dates with Greg, he was more than willing to let the other man lead, sure that he would know better than he did.
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Oct 16, 2012 21:19:35 GMT -5
Peter looked up looking almost relieved, like he thought Greg might actually not show up. He tried not to let it bother him. Try as he may, Greg couldn't help Peter in his own insecurities.
“Hopefully, I’ve never been to one of these things before," Peter said, “So, do we just go in and pick a place on the grass or…?"
He trailed off, looking at Greg expectantly. Gregory simply smiled and nodded, said, "Yeah, wherever you want. Uh," he glanced around, knowing Peter probably wasn't going to pick himself, "Over there looks a good spot, yeah?" He pointed to a place a few feet shy of a large oak tree, which still had its green leaves attached. He was grateful it hadn't turned cold yet, and he hated cold summers.
"Oh, and,"[/b] Greg added, feeling a bit awkward with Peter standing still, nervous as if a wrong move might offend Greg; that he might be wrong. He leaned forward and pecked Peter quickly on the cheek, hoping Peter wouldn't mind. "Good evening, Peter,"[/b] he smiled, pleased, and then motioned for Peter to walk to where he'd previously pointed to for them to sit.
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Oct 22, 2012 16:13:38 GMT -5
"Yeah, wherever you want. Uh...Over there looks a good spot, yeah?"
Peter followed Greg’s finger to an oak tree. Oak trees were one of the things that Peter liked about New York. They didn’t have Oak trees where he was from. They didn’t like the high elevation or something – he never did pay attention to the science part of things, so he had no idea what made that so. He nodded, finding the placer agreeable. Worse to worst, they could lean against it if they needed to.
"Oh, and..."
Peter glanced at Greg, not having a chance to react before there was a peck on his cheek. Peter brought a hand up to his cheek, still amazed by the little touches like that. That was one thing that unnerved him with Greg. No one was ever gentle with him like that. He didn’t know what to do with that.
"Good evening, Peter."
“Uh, good evening Greg’ry,” he replied with a small smile, walking towards where Greg had gestured.
It did seem like a pretty good spot. There were other people spread out away from it, giving the impression it was somewhat private without being private. He sat down, shifting until he found a comfortable spot.
“So. A night of...” he pulled the flyer from his pocket. “Musical Medleys. Sounds...intellectual.”
It really did. Saying something simple like “we’re playing music” they’d gone all out to make it seem fancier than it was. Hopefully it wasn’t too fancy for him. He and Greg weren’t the type who spent their time in high brow things, after all.
“Hopefully they’ll play something I’ll know. You, uh, you’ve been before, right?”
He looked around a bit, taking in the crowd because he really didn’t know what to say.
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Oct 29, 2012 20:18:02 GMT -5
Peter touched his cheek tenderly, with an almost shocked expression on his face, and Gregory wanted to yell sympathetically at him, No, that's wrong! He still couldn't believe Peter, of all people, had never had an actual boyfriend before. How was it possible? Peter was such a good guy.
Still, Peter followed him and they sat near the tree. Once they got comfortable Peter said, “So. A night of...Musical Medleys. Sounds...intellectual.” Peter sounded both impressed and tentative, and Gregory could understand why. The poster was far too fancy for its own good; it was hardly intellectual. Just... enjoyable, really. You didn't have to know the music, it was just nice to sit and talk and watch people having a good time. “Hopefully they’ll play something I’ll know. You, uh, you’ve been before, right?”
"Give me that gammy thing," Gregory said with a chuckle, picking the poster out of Peter's hands and inspecting it with mock disapproval, "This is a load of crap, as long as you know the Star Spangled Banner you'll be informed enough."[/color] He smiled at Peter and pointed towards where the musicians were setting up. They were dressed nicely, but even they were not prepared for suit and tie occasion. They were not playing on any kind of stage, just a cleared off area on the grass further up the hill. "See? It's just for fun," he nodded.
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Oct 30, 2012 23:16:43 GMT -5
"Give me that gammy thing. This is a load of crap, as long as you know the Star Spangled Banner you'll be informed enough."
Peter grinned a little. “I always mix up that one and America the Beautiful.”
It was mostly true. His father felt no pride in being an American, so he’d been raised to believe more in family than in country. He knew the songs, but the names always mixed him up. He could recognize the tunes, but he never sang along for fear of mixing up the words.
Peter looked over to where Greg was pointing. There were some people with instruments finding their seats. He supposed he’d been watching too much TV, seeing as how he’d expected them to be in suits, but they were pretty casual.
"See? It's just for fun.”
Fun. Yeah, Peter could do fun. Fun was fun, right? He couldn’t remember the last time he had fun off the basketball court, if he was being honest. Maybe this was what he needed to broaden his horizons a bit.
“I’m sure it’ll be fun, not like going to the dentist or something,” Peter replied, pausing when he realised how dumb that sounded. “Uh, sorry, I meant it’ll be good. I’m looking forward to it.”
He picked at the grass a bit, trying to look relaxed. Really, what did he have to be worried about? It was music in the park, with Greg – someone who put up with him far more than he should have.
“I should really do more fun things. I feel like a wet blanket here,” he offered, smiling a little. “Thanks for bringing me.”
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Nov 2, 2012 21:47:48 GMT -5
“I always mix up that one and America the Beautiful," Peter admitted, and Greg was happy to see him smiling. He gave a good-natured laugh.
"Yes, well, I'm afraid I do too,"[/b] he said honestly. All those patriotic tunes sounded exactly the same to him, key, tone, everything.
“I’m sure it’ll be fun, not like going to the dentist or something -- Uh, sorry, I meant it’ll be good. I’m looking forward to it.” Greg said nothing, just watched Peter begin to pick nervously at the grass, because he wasn't sure what he could say to that statement that wouldn't make Peter embarrassed, which was certainly not what he wanted. It had been an odd thing to say, but not the worst thing by any lengths. Peter needn't be so self-conscious; he should have been able to laugh at the mistake.
“I should really do more fun things. I feel like a wet blanket here,” he finally said, and the man came on the muffled microphone, hushed by trees and outdoor systems always are, and began announcing the evening, thanking people for coming, the works. Peter said, “Thanks for bringing me.”
"Of course, I hope you like it,"[/b] Greg smiled, and the band began to play something patriotic. "D'you know what that one is?"[/b] He asked. "O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties above the fruited plain!" a mother with her children running around her sang a few yards away from them, and her children joined in after a few bars. They sang neither in time or with pitch, the kids basically yelling the lyrics at each other. Greg shook his head, smiling, "No, that's definitely America the Beautiful, right? Poetic-ness and all.[/b]
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Nov 10, 2012 15:29:30 GMT -5
"Yes, well, I'm afraid I do too.”
Well, that was reassuring. Peter was sure he was the only one, after all. Greg didn’t sound embarrassed about it, but Peter was also willing to bet that if he had been born here, that would have been a different story. He was willing to bet Greg knew all the words to whatever the Irish national anthem was.
"Of course, I hope you like it. D'you know what that one is?"
Peter listened for a moment, trying to figure out what the song was. He listened to some kids singing the words, recognizing it a bit. It was one of those patriotic songs. Without the words, he was a bit clueless.
"No, that's definitely America the Beautiful, right? Poetic-ness and all.”
Peter listened to the children yelling the words and winced. “Yeah, really poetic. Don’t tell me they’ll be singing along to all the songs?”
He sure as hell hoped not. He had the decency not to sing, so he was hoping that they had the same morals. If he had to listen to that all night, he was not going to be a happy camper.
“I mean, kids are great and all,” he back peddled, hoping he hadn’t seemed like he didn’t like kids. Heck, he had his own brood of kids that trailed after him, so he had to like kids. Greg had seen that often enough. “So yeah,” he ended lamely.
Yeah, he was exceedingly bad at small talk, but if he apologised again, Greg was going to get on his case about it.
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Nov 12, 2012 11:50:18 GMT -5
“Yeah, really poetic," Peter agreed, looking a little peeved at the family shouting the words in front of them. "Don’t tell me they’ll be singing along to all the songs?”
Gregory chuckled, and was about to say, 'I hope not,' but Peter all too quickly added defensively, “I mean, kids are great and all... So yeah." Gregory knew Peter didn't have a problem with kids, he had a troop of them that trailed behind him after all, and obviously these ones were simply annoying. He wished Peter didn't feel the need to defend himself, as if Gregory were a quick one to accuse. Which, in all fairness, he could be, but not about stupid little things like this.
He tried to give Peter what was intended to be an encouraging smile and he sat back and listened to the music quietly until the song ended, and he clapped when other people did. The other times he'd come here, alone mostly, he'd observed that people only tended to clap after the first song, or the national anthem, things like that. Otherwise it was just background music.
Lowering his hands, he looked at Peter and said, as the second song started, "Peter... you know, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. You don't need to be so defensive."[/color] It occurred to him that his words might have come off rather snooty and added, "And I don't mean that in a bad way, just... relax, won't you? You're fine, you're absolutely perfect just now." He patted Peter's knee twice, a slightly awkward habit he'd long held that was meant to be comforting.
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Nov 16, 2012 4:11:06 GMT -5
The first song thankfully ended and a few people clapped, but Peter had his arms wrapped around his knees and wasn’t willing to give up the position. He caught Greg looking at him out of the corner of his eye and wondered what he’d done now. Whatever it was, it really wasn’t intentional.
"Peter... you know, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything. You don't need to be so defensive. And I don't mean that in a bad way, just... relax, won't you? You're fine, you're absolutely perfect just now."
The pats to his knee were awkward, almost as awkward as Peter felt with Greg’s attention on him like this. Peter knew Greg wasn’t going to hurt him, but that was the problem. How did he start to explain that to Greg? He’d think he was psychotic.
“I...sure,” Peter agreed, focused on his knees. “Sorry.”
He wasn’t perfect – far from it. And Greg just didn’t know how much it would have made Peter feel better if he would just stop pretending.
“Maybe this was a bad idea.”
Not just going to the park, but dating Greg – dating anyone who didn’t tell him exactly how much of a screw up he was. He didn’t know what to do with this, and he was just making an ass out of himself. Greg didn’t need the grief. He still didn’t understand why Greg was putting up with any of this. It was stupid and they both knew it. Peter ruined everything he touched, so why would this be any different?
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Nov 18, 2012 0:19:15 GMT -5
“I...sure. Sorry.” Peter mumbled, continuing to fold into himself, grasping his knees protectively to his chest. Gregory sighed, not wanting Peter to go into apologizing for nothing at all, again, but it seemed where anything was ever headed. Maybe Peter was abused as a kid or something. Gregory only had the ideas from old Western films as far as cowboy-country went, after all.
Finally Peter said, “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
No, that was... that wasn't what Gregory wanted to hear. He wanted Peter to be happy, so if breaking up made Peter happier he'd do it, but still... he wondered if he was too old to be confusing love with lust. Or perhaps it was one of his great downfalls making an appearance one again - his irresistible need to take care of someone who was not himself. Otherwise, he just... fell. Loneliness got to him easily. Was he just being selfish? Was he making Peter do this? He stared down at his own legs, which were spread in front of him as he leaned against his arms stretched straight behind him.
It occurred to him that while he knew Peter was anxious, perhaps because of apparently never being in a before, ever, that he didn't know the true source of his fear. There had to be something, besides Peter's rather breathtakingly boyish insecurity.
So after a minute, all he ended up asking was, "Tell me why?"[/b]
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Nov 19, 2012 23:26:24 GMT -5
"Tell me why?"
Peter wasn’t expecting that. Not that he ever expected the things that Gregory liked to say. He always felt blindsided. They were in the middle of a park, after all. But he could see why Greg would ask him then – where was he going to hide? And yes, he was very good at hiding. He was sure that it probably annoyed Greg, thus the park.
“I uh...I don’t know,” Peter offered with a shrug. “I just seem to ruin anything we do. You could probably have a better time with someone else.”
And didn’t he feel guilty about that. He couldn’t figure out why Greg insisted on doing this when Peter just made things awkward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want this – he did. It was just that he didn’t know how to do any of this. Greg had experience. He was self-assured that he knew what he was doing. Peter...he didn’t know where to begin with things and not knowing, knowing Greg did made him nervous.
“I mean, it’s not you – you’re great. I just...”
Peter shrugged, not able to explain it any better than that. He wouldn’t be able to unless he sat Gregory down and told him all about his past. He knew if they were going anywhere it would have to happen, and that terrified him.
“Does that make any sense?”
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Post by GREGORY LESTRADE on Nov 20, 2012 16:32:30 GMT -5
“I uh...I don’t know,” Peter said, looking offhand and a tad blank, "I just seem to ruin anything we do. You could probably have a better time with someone else. I mean, it’s not you – you’re great. I just... Does that make any sense?”
Gregory looked down at his outstretched legs, trying not to be too disappointed that Peter was still so insecure. Besides being a little annoying, it was mostly just... sad. It made Gregory sad. He wanted to say whatever, get Peter to believe that the compliments he gave Peter were true, but it never seemed to quite get through. He'd never dated someone like Peter before. Well, to be honest, he'd almost always dated women, but weren't women supposed to be the more emotional I-hate-myself gender? Peter was far less sure of himself than anyone he'd ever known. But still, he'd become attached to Peter, even Peter was different from anyone ever before.
"No..." He said thoughtfully, leaning to one side to look up at Peter and gave a tiny smile, "That's completely untrue, Peter. The only person I'd rather be with is my daughter, and she's cross country. Oh, and, maybe I'd have lunch with Jesus if he was still alive." He sat up and squeezed Peter's hand with his own, "Have a little confidence in yourself, if only to get me to shut up." He continued smiling, but turned his tone a tad more serious when he added, "I don't just go out with anyone Peter, nor are my compliments empty. Have some confidence in me, too, that I'm truthful."[/b]
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Post by DETECTIVE PETER ARAMIS on Nov 26, 2012 23:46:11 GMT -5
"No...That's completely untrue, Peter. The only person I'd rather be with is my daughter, and she's cross country. Oh, and, maybe I'd have lunch with Jesus if he was still alive."
Well, he couldn’t argue with wanting to spend time with his kid or Jesus. They were at the top of everyone’s list, of course. But Peter wasn’t about to sit there and think that they were the only two people who Greg couldn’t have a better time with. He was always so concerned with making sure that Peter felt alright. How was that anyone’s idea of a good time?
"Have a little confidence in yourself, if only to get me to shut up. I don't just go out with anyone Peter, nor are my compliments empty. Have some confidence in me, too, that I'm truthful."
Peter didn’t know what to say to that. He didn’t think Greg was a liar, he just...he was nice.
“I know you’re not lying, I just don’t see it your way. I’m entitled to my own opinion, to my own thoughts.”
And that was another thing that bothered him. It wasn’t bad enough that Greg thought he had no faith in himself, but that he could just tell him to change, that there was no merit to the way he was thinking.
“Listen, I appreciate that you’re nice about everything. I appreciate that you think you’re right, and for all I know you are, but you have to respect me as a person with my own ideas and beliefs, especially about myself.”
It wasn’t exactly assertive, but it was the best Peter could do. He didn’t want to offend Greg, but he sometimes felt like he was more like a kid to Greg than an equal and that wasn’t how it was supposed to go...right? He may not have known what he was doing in this whole dating thing, but that didn’t make him less important in all this.
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