Easy / Lucky / Free (John, Casual)

[OSRIC YOUNG]

We were gonna be amazing.
We were amazing.
We're not amazing now.

That's what Osric was thinking while he was walking down the stairs from his apartment to the lobby, because he needed to buy groceries and the elevator was being fixed by maintenance. It what's he was thinking as he took the steps too slowly for himself, and not how his stomach and head hurt and maybe how he had a fever too, he didn't really know anything except he suddenly he was falling down the stairs but it didn't hurt like it should have. He just thought, he didn't want to get the groceries anymore, so he climbed back upstairs, ignoring how there was a sort of dull throb to every step now that wasn't there before. He fell back asleep in five minutes, on the couch.

Do you feel good?
Are you satisfied?
Do you feel like suicide?
I think you should!

He saw Carl last week and Carl hit him, and then he couldn't stop thinking the things he habitually blocked out, and forgot to eat and got sick. So he took the pills, and they were dry going down his throat, and he told himself, It's okay because he's ill, it makes sense. Codeine isn't that much stronger than Tylenol after all, is it? No.

His cold was gone after two or three days, but he kept on taking them because he said to himself, It's just like vitamins, they're going to keep me healthy.

And then he fell down the stairs.

Prescribe pills,
to offset the shakes,
to offset the pills
you know you should take
(it a day at a time).

When he woke up, his head and his wrist hurt a lot and he remembered how any damage done to his arm could be serious, now. But it was the other arm, his right one that hurt, not the left one that still had a scar stretching from his elbow to his shoulder nearly, so he was caught in a few seconds of relief before he noticed Hank sitting on the other end of the couch looking terribly cross and texting someone on his cell.

"You're an idiot," Hank said, and Osric thought for a few horrible seconds that maybe Hank knew he was taking the pills, and of course it wasn't bad, no, they were good, but the idea of someone else knowing still made him tense for reasons he did not know (couldn't face). But then Hank said, "Did you forget about lunch?"

Oh. Well, yes, he had forgotten they were going out today, but that wasn't why he was an idiot, he thought. "Sorry," he said honestly, but flinched when he moved his arm, which had been wedged between the couch and his body, and his wrist burned. 

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Osric."

"Fine, I may have… fallen down the stairs." Hank looked at him disbelieving, and rolled his eyes. Osric wanted to go back to sleep; dizzy dizzy dizzy.

"You idiot. Are you okay?"

"Well, yeah, I just hit my wrist and some other stuff a little is all."

Hank looked at Osric's wrist and said, "Jesus fuck!" because it was rather large and purple and gross, wasn't it? What followed was a twenty minute argument about hospitals, and what followed that was an incredibly grumpy Osric being driven to the ER. Hank had to go to work, but he said it was okay to be a little late and made sure to both check Osric in and tell the nurse at the desk not to let Osric leave until he got checked out by a doctor. Osric told Hank to fuck off and Hank did, looking smug and slightly worried because Osric's words were sort of slurred now and he threw up on the side of the road on their way there.

Osric hated waiting rooms and hospitals and doctors, it all just made him sick to his stomach. Too many bad memories. He wanted to leave. And you had to wait so long for everything! Still, he got checked into a little room fast enough, and then he waited for a really long time (and sort of fell completely asleep) until a doctor came in. Osric sat up groggily and smiled because he'd been bored and lonely, even if he had been asleep. He didn't want to be checked out whatsoever, but if he had to be, he might as well try to be be friendly; it wasn't nice to spread frowns.