austenfan63 to xdongfeng

[FIONA "FANNY" PRICE]

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Subject: Hi

Uh, hi! It's me, Fiona. We met the other day in the library- I don't know if you remember...

Anyway, just wanted to drop you a line, see if you had a chance to read through my story yet. I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to, and there's no rush. I was just wondering.

It still doesn't have a title, I'm afraid- I'm terrible at titles. Normally I wait until I finish the whole thing before I try to name it- sometimes a phrase pops out at me towards the end.

So it turns out I have read one of your books- a Perfect Shadow. I thought it was very good- it made me cry when I finished it.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Fiona

[LING LING DONGFENG]

To: "Fiona Price" <[e-mail]>,
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Subject: Re: HI

Hello Fiona! I am glad that you were able to email me alright.

I have indeed read your story, or what you have given me. Of course, it is no trouble at all.

Titles are always hard, I must agree with you on that matter.

I am very surprised you have read one of my books, but that's quite pleasing; thank you. I am glad that you enjoyed it!

Now, on to your book. Obviously this is fantasy, and while I must admit to not having a vast knowledge on the subject, it seems very well thought out so far. I can tell it is still a slightly early draft, yes (there's just a few small typos, if you don't mind my saying so), but Phoenix's character is very well thought out, I think. The mix between historical fiction and fantasy is curious, and so one must be careful when mixing the two dramatically different genres, but you've done a good job of it so far! I will look forward to reading more.

Of course, I can't really judge whether or not I should show this to anyone else quite yet. I don't mean to offend you, I just feel it would be better if I could read the whole thing before I could judge.

Thank you for trusting me with this project and I will hopefully see you again some day soon!

-Ling Ling

[FIONA "FANNY" PRICE]

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Subject: Re: Hi
Attachments: Chapter5-16.docx

I’m so glad you’ve had a chance to take a look! It’s been ages since anyone’s given me feedback. I have to admit, I’ve been fretting a lot over this part, wondering what you’re going to say, wondering what you think, hoping you’ve read it. I don’t know what to do except sit here and type- most of it is junk, but there’s an idea or two that could probably give me something good.

I always hate making titles. I want them to mean something, to be something memorable- but I can never think of anything when the time comes. It’s hard to try and wrap up so many ideas, so much of myself and my time and my hopes and dreams, into a few words. It’s exasperating. English just doesn’t have the words for this kind of thing.

Most of my ramblings are fantasy- I love reading realistic fiction, but I can’t get the hang of it just yet. I don’t know how you do it- there’s so much truth and power behind that kind of fiction. I can’t get to it.

I didn’t even notice the typos! Thanks for pointing those out.

I’ve got most of the rest done, but the ending chapters still need some work. I’m sending along the next ten chapters or so- there’s about thirty overall. The rest still need… tweaking? I guess that’s the right word for it.

You’re probably right about not showing it to anyone else just yet. It’s really nice to have someone else look at this. My best friend, Edmund… he’s seen this, but he’s not a big reader. Or a writer. He just doesn’t get it- he likes to read everything, but he doesn’t get excited about the words like I do.

Thank you so much for looking at this!

Fiona

[LING LING DONGFENG]

To: "Fiona Price" <[e-mail]>,
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Subject: Re: Hi

Hello again Fiona!

It’s not a trouble at all, do not even think of it. I love to give feedback; I’ve read so many books and so it’s interested to read on that is not finished. And I am sure everything you type is definitely not junk; I’ve not gone through all of the chapter your just sent me quite yet, but I’m on number twelve and it’s getting a lot more interesting.

One criticism I have is maybe you have made too long of an introduction? I understand the concept of really wanting to flesh out the world and characters before starting the plot of a story, but yours seems just a little long, if you don’t mind my saying. Perhaps you might add a few smaller events into the beginning before the main plot begins?

Titles are always hard, perhaps I might be able to help you create one once I have finished the book . Thank you for thinking that my work is good, though! I suppose it’s just how I am though. You write fantasy and I write realistic fiction, and that’s just how it goes. Though I have to admit, here’s a secret, not all of my books are entirely fiction. A lot of the events that take place in some of my books, especially the one you read. I’m not quite sure why I told you that, it’s a bit of a secret, but I trust you will keep it^^.

Edmund sounds like a good friend. I was noticing Phoenix seems a tiny bit inconsistent at times. Not that his character itself is, but the way he interacts with people. At some times he seems like she has friends, but at others she does not. I was thinking maybe it was a projection of Edmund and your experiences with such a good friend that you based your characters experiences with friendship on? That’s not a problem, but maybe while you were writing one chapter, you were having a harder time with your friend than at others, and those are the chapter where Pheonix seems to take her friendships more for granted? I don’t mean to offend you, but it is just a thought that I have noticed in my own inconsistencies sometimes; I always must be in the right mood to write a character ,or they turn out wrong.

Anyway, I will finish more of your story; feel free to send me any more you type up!

-Ling Ling x