Full Of Most Excellent Differences! (Zander) -FIN-

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Professionalism was dull, he'd always thought. Osric liked working odd jobs, because if you got fired, there was usually another one waiting somewhere, at least for a day. And besides his job at the music store - where he only worked about three or four times a week - was extremely flexible, and because he liked the other employees there and he needed somewhere to practice piano, he made sure to actually keep that one. But the other three or four days a week? Well, regular jobs were dull.

So he moved boxes for people. It wasn't a business though, it was more of a word-by-mouth sort of thing. He started with moving his mother's friend's boxes when she'd moved to Staten, and then when her friend who was also moving called, he gladly accepted for the price she was willing to pay. So now he just moved boxes for people who'd heard of him, but he didn't have a business card or an ad or anything. It was just… a thing to do that paid.

Still, when Hank said, "I've got you a job somewhere," and it turned out moving boxes, except with a company, well. It wasn't like he couldn't use the money. So here he was, working at a professional mover's, with his first job to move a loadful of boxes for a family of five: a mom, dad, two girls going into fifth and eight grade and a boy going into third. Meaning: toys.

Boxes were meant to be opened, and Osric wanted to see what was inside, he really did. He'd always had problems with waiting to open presents on Christmas morning. But he would not open them, he would not. He was a good person and not a rule breaker and these people needed their things!

Still, he couldn't help but comment to the guy whom he was bringing the boxes into the house with (the people were out, set to return later in the day), "I wonder what's in these, don't you?"[/b] He knew the guy's name was Zander because that's what he'd been told, but that was all really. Still, he didn't seem like a bad guy, and Osric was bored of not talking.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

Zander wasn’t sure how he’d ended up where he was.

President and CEO of Devereux Industries, Zander wasn’t exactly hurting for money or lacking in things to do. But since he’d stepped back from the day to day operations of the company, he’d found himself with free time on his hands like he had never had before. It was supposed to be ‘finding his twin’ time, but he’d found him far quicker than he’d thought possible, thanks to Hector and an unexpected trip to a coffee shop at the right moment. So now that time had become ‘finding himself’ time.
The problem with finding himself was that he wasn’t sure he wanted to. For all his years, he’d been the only son of Zee and Milly Devereux. Now he knew he was adopted and having something beyond being a Devereux was proving to be problematic. So he was branching out, trying new things, and having more fun than he could remember.

Take his new job. He’d wandered past a group of people moving boxes and thought they looked like they were having a good time. So he’d found a moving company and now he was apparently employed. The problem was, he was as curious as the day was long, and knowing what was in the boxes was a treat he wanted more than anything.

To top it off, Ozzy wasn’t nearly as compelled as he was. He just placidly moved the boxes while Zander watched and leaned against the door, only looking mildly curious when he’d wondered aloud what was in the boxes. He supposed he was going to have to be the one to make the conversation then.

“How do people acquire so much? I personally couldn’t imagine owning so many boxes of things...”

Mainly because he often tired of the things he had and gave them away. These people clearly kept things.

“They probably wouldn’t notice if half of theses boxes disappeared, don’t you think, Oz?”

Well, he hoped it was Oz or Ozzy or some strange combination. He really was awful with names. If he hadn’t had his own sewn into his clothing growing up, he would have probably forgotten it, too.

OOC: The title of this one so reminds me of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, haha. Ted says something like "On this most excellent adventure" so I smiled.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Mr. Zander - whom Osric was sure he recognized from somewhere, he swore it - had been mildly useless up till now, simply leaning against the open door while Osric walked back and forth, putting them into the family's hall. He'd justified the apparent laziness by deciding Zander was holding the door open for him, even if it was the sort on hinges that would stay open on its own.

“How do people acquire so much? I personally couldn’t imagine owning so many boxes of things," Zander said in reply to his wondering, and Osric had to agree with him. Well, he did sort of, until he remembered that his flat was completely packed with every little "stuff" you could imagine. To be honest, Osric was a keeper. He had a hard time giving things up. While he didn't have this much stuff (he didn't believe, and anyway his apartment wouldn't fit this much, would it?) he had acquired several piles of things over the years.

“They probably wouldn’t notice if half of theses boxes disappeared, don’t you think, Oz?” Zander asked. ...Oz? Right, well, he'd been called that as a kid, hadn't he? Sometimes. Like, as a name shortening or something. Right. Well, he didn't mind that. Maybe Zander had a nickname too. He reminded himself the ask. Maybe Zee? Or Zane? Or Andy?

At first Osric thought Zander was just wondering, but looking at the other man's face, Osric realized what Zander was up to. "What? Of course they would!"[/b] Osric exclaimed, a little upset. "I wouldn't want other people to go through my stuff, anyway!"[/b]

Oh, and he'd thought Zander was nice… Well, maybe he was, but Osric wasn't the type to break rules. He liked… order. Like his flat. It was very messy, but it still had order. Music on one side, food on the other, and then the rest of his random crap accumulated on broken shelves pushed to the corner. Just how he liked it. Disorganized order.

OOC: Haha, I love that movie! XD MOST EXCELLENT! *electric air guitar*

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"What? Of course they would! I wouldn't want other people to go through my stuff, anyway!"

Now, how had he jumped to that conclusion? Zander had simply suggested that perhaps they wouldn’t have noticed half of their things disappearing because of the sheer volume. He’d never said a word about going through those boxes.

“Why, Ooblix...whoever said we would go through the boxes?” Zander asked curiously. “Is there some burning curiosity you’ve got about what’s in them?”

Truth be told, he had been wondering all day, especially when he had come across the boxes marked “TOYS”. He had plenty of toys, so he knew which ones were good or not. It would merely take a moment to compare them and move on.

He stopped and picked up the box by his feet, hefting it with one hand as he walked closer to the young man.

“I can see why you’re curious – the way they wrote ‘bedroom’ on your box would get anyone’s mind whirring,” he teased. “I’m far more curious about what toys these kids could possibly have. They could have cool toys or girl toys. It’s a toss up.”

He shrugged and carried the box over to the unloaded pile in the living room, setting it down with three more boxes labeled toys.

“Either way, these kids are spoiled.”

Not as spoiled as he had been as a child, but still, there were boxes upon boxes of ‘TOYS’.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

"Why, Ooblix…" Ooblix? Okay, this guy definitely had no die what his name was, did he… "Whoever said we would go through the boxes? Is there some burning curiosity you’ve got about what’s in them?”

Oh, well, that was true. Zander hadn't actually said to go through the boxes. That had been him. Oh, dammit… He watched nervously as Zander picked up a box with one hand and continued, “I can see why you’re curious – the way they wrote ‘bedroom’ on your box would get anyone’s mind whirring." It took Osric a few seconds too long to get was Zander was saying, and by the time he did it would have been useless to protest, as Zander was already saying, "I’m far more curious about what toys these kids could possibly have. They could have cool toys or girl toys. It’s a toss up. Either way, these kids are spoiled.”

The only thing he could think of quickly was saying, "That's sexist,"[/b] even though he knew exactly what Zander meant. And man, he really did want to see what they were… His impulse control was fairly lacking.

"I mean…"[/b] he mused worriedly aloud, pushing one of the TOYS boxes awkwardly with the tip of his foot, "There are so many though, they really wouldn't notice one gone, would they?"[/b]

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"That's sexist.”

Zander couldn’t help but snort in agreement. It was, but it just wet to show that boys had it better than girls when it came to toys. He’d played enough tea parties and dress up with the girls to know that there was some highly unequal creation of boys toys and girls toys.

"I mean…There are so many though, they really wouldn't notice one gone, would they?"

“Not for quite some time, I’m sure,” Zander replied. “Then little Timmy would go looking for something and there would be tears and such.”

Zander dismissed the thought. This family seemed the type to just buy and replace things, much like his own family. He had never wanted for anything.

“I am not sure I would want you moving my boxes, Opie,” he chuckled, looking over at the boxes of toys. “Though...”

Really, there was no harm in looking to see what was in those boxes of toys, now was there. Great, now he was thinking like Opie here. Still... his curiosity was burning.

With a shrug he bent down and pulled the tape back on one of the boxes. “Here’s the deal – we’ll look at what these kids have for goods and if we like them, we’ll play for a bit, but I draw the line at stealing. Alright?”

After all, if he wanted cool toys, he could buy them, or have the boys down in R&D make them.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“Not for quite some time, I’m sure,” Zander agreed, and Osric bit his lip nervously and rocked on his heals, because he was pretty sure he knew where this was going. “Then little Timmy would go looking for something and there would be tears and such.”

"That makes me feel guilty just thinking about it,"[/b] Osric pointed out, an incredulous look on his face, skeptical of the situation. It almost kind of felt like the first time the guys tried to get him to smoke, except he'd been more wiling to do that than just now.

“I am not sure I would want you moving my boxes, Opie, though…” Zander trailed off, and Osric watched with slight horror and obvious guilty on his face as Zander ripped the tape loudly off one of the cardboard boxes, simultaneously thinking, Opie, what the fuck?

“Here’s the deal – we’ll look at what these kids have for goods and if we like them, we’ll play for a bit, but I draw the line at stealing. Alright?"

Osric hesitated. Not because what they were about to do was incredibly immature for someone with a job, let along the fact that they were supposedly adults, but he knew it was… wrong. But that hadn't always stopped him, and he found himself saying, "Okay. I wouldn't' steal anything anyway," he said, looking so earnest when he promised he wasn't a thief that it was probably impossible for that to be a lie.
Probably.
"Though, by the way, my name's Osric, man, Osric."[/b] So he could accept Oz or the occasional professor who thought Osric stood for Oswald, but Opie was kind of pushing it. He'd gone by a lot of names in his life already - Aric, Osric, for a short while he insisted on being called by his middle name, Roscoe, or Ross, and he replied to Young. He didn't really like it but there were a few people who called him Oz or Ozzy. Never Ricky or something like that, so… Opie was kind of pushing it. Sounded too much like opium.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"That makes me feel guilty just thinking about it.”

Zander felt like snorting. Now he sees the point. Zander may have been willing to bend the rules, but he wasn’t willing to rob some child of his or her enjoyment from a box of toys. And if Oscar was, well, then he was probably not the kind of person Zander should be publically associating with. Lord knew that he had enough questionable people in his life already. The fact he was related to most of them was even more troubling than it should have been. Though, he couldn’t exactly pick his family...

"Okay. I wouldn't' steal anything anyway. Though, by the way, my name's Osric, man, Osric."

“I’m glad to hear that you wouldn’t steal from children. That’s just low, after all. And I said Osric,” Zander dismissed, pulling the box open.

Honestly, Osric? What were his parents smoking on the night he was born? Zander thought Percival had it bad in the name department...though, Zander wasn’t exactly typical, even if it had class. It was part of the noble Devereux heritage, so at least it made sense. If there were three generations of Obrics or Osrics or whatever he’d said running around, Zander would be surprised.

“Let’s see what we have in here...” he dug in the box, his hand closing around something before pulling it out. “Look, Obrics! A Transformer! Yeah, these kids have cool toys.”

He tossed the transformer at his companion, digging again to pull out an Iron Man toy.

“Who do you think would win? Transformer Thingy or Iron Dude? I’m betting on this guy, seeing as how he has a better paint job.”

He waved the toy in his hand back and forth, impressed with the red and gold paint. Yes, he'd most definitely win in a fight.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“I’m glad to hear that you wouldn’t steal from children. That’s just low, after all. And I said Osric,” Zander said casually, ripping the boxes as if he'd not really heard Osric, processed the words. Well, maybe Zander didn't, which was… okay. Though his dismissiveness bothered Osric, somewhat.

“Let’s see what we have in here," Zander said, rummaging through the box. Osric rocked nervously back and forth on his heals, trying not to say anything. But honestly, he did want to see what was in there… and it was very hard not to say anything. “Look, Obrics! A Transformer! Yeah, these kids have cool toys.”

Osric grinned nervously. He might have been eighteen when that movie came out, but that didn't mean he hadn't gone to see and enjoy it with Hank and… and Carl. Wilson had been off doing school stuff or something. MUN and NHS or one of those three-initial things people did in high school.

“Who do you think would win? Transformer Thingy or Iron Dude? I’m betting on this guy, seeing as how he has a better paint job."

"Iron man, duh,"[/b] Osric said almost immediately, and then could have smacked himself in the head. He wasn't supposed to be playing along so easily. But then… damn, he wanted to! "Iron man definitely, because, like, the Avengers have been around forever so nobody can beat them."[/b] He gave Zander a tentative laugh.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"Iron man, duh. Iron man definitely, because, like, the Avengers have been around forever so nobody can beat them."

Zander smirked. Oh, he knew how to get people interested. Glancing at Iron Man – he knew that – Zander glanced at the bigger Optimus Primus or whatever his name was, and thought that the bigger toy would have won.

“Well, be that as it may, Optimal guy is an alien. He’s superior technology and he can hide as a Mac truck. That’s like being able to turn into a lily pad on a pond when a gator’s after you – you blend right in. This guy? Too flashy.”

Zander glanced between the toys again, thinking he had it right. Aliens always won. Besides, if the alien robot got hurt, he could get repaired. Iron Whatsit was a man under all that. Men were sadly mortal.

“Here, you be this flashy guy,” he decided, tossing Iron Guy towards Oggy. “I’ll be the Alien and we’ll see who wins.”

He held his own guy out, feeling like he was seven again with his friends from school. They’d clash the toys together, make sound effects...seven was a good age. Perhaps he’d be seven again today.

“Hello. I am Optimal Primus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

OOC: We were watching The Princess Bride last night and it was just too perfect to pass up!

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Zander grinned, “Well, be that as it may, Optimal guy is an alien. He’s superior technology and he can hide as a Mac truck. That’s like being able to turn into a lily pad on a pond when a gator’s after you – you blend right in. This guy? Too flashy.”

Osric frowned, shaking his head, "No way man, I mean, that's not how it works. The Avengers always win."[/b]

He caught the toy when Zander tossed it to him, his heart jumping for a half second when he thought he might not catch it, because of his... well, his shit aim. “Here, you be this flashy guy... Hello. I am Optimal Primus. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

Osric wasted no time buzzing his lips to make ridiculously noisy sound effects, because of course Iron Man had rev up his floating-thingies on his shoes, and then he was right into action, flying all over with the toy. He made Iron Man fly around the Transformer teasingly, bopping it on the head with the bottom of Iron Man's figure with a wicked grin on his face.

"Don't think for a second you can win this,"[/b] Osric announced in the most rich-confident-ass-hole aka Tony Stark voice he could procure. Which, in all honestly, wasn't bad.

OOC: I've never seen The Princess Bride. Oops. Sorry this post took so long!

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"No way man, I mean, that's not how it works. The Avengers always win."

Oh, if only that was how it worked in real life. The bad guys won, things didn’t always go your way, and good people ended up in bad situations. He’d seen the same thing happen over and over again. He was really seeing it with the stock market. Good people like Claudius Chandler were feeling it, while he stood to make another fortune. It was the way of the world, and just because Iron Dude was an Avenger didn’t mean anything.

"Don't think for a second you can win this.” Oscar challenged, with a posh accent for the toy.

“I am Optimal Prius! I shall always prevail because my world is all messed up and I have something to prove!” Zander declared in his best baritone. “Or I want world domination or something. Either way, I am going to win because I’m awesome!”

Or at least he thought that was the story line. He hadn’t seen the show since the eighties. Oh god, that was a decade he would have rather forgotten...

“Prepare to be smashed, puny iron person!”

Zander clashed his toy with Omar’s, listening to the plastic make banging noises. He wasn’t worried. If they broke the toys, he’d buy more. Sometimes it was good to be a multi-millionaire with nothing to spend it on.

OOC: You MUST see The Princess Bride. There is no option *nods*. If you youtube Inigo Montoya you’ll get where the reference is from

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“I am Optimal Prius! I shall always prevail because my world is all messed up and I have something to prove!” Zander declared, lowering his voice dramatically. “Or I want world domination or something. Either way, I am going to win because I’m awesome!” Osric grinned devilishly at him, already sort of forgetting his hesitance because this was fun and yay toys. “Prepare to be smashed, puny iron person!”

Zander threw himself into the battle, smashing plastic against plastic, and maybe some aluminum, and Osric gave a childish roar and smashed right back, and naaaaa bzoosh bzoosh with his mouth, blowing air through his lips excitedly because a battle wasn't a true battle without side effects.

"You can't beat me, Optimal Prius, I'm more awesome then you and I'm rich and sassy,"[/b] Osric declared grandly, and hit the transformer particularly hard with Iron Man. So hard that the arm sort of... cracked. Osric paused and swore, "Oh fuck, now what?"[/b] He asked Zander, disdain clear on his face. His opinion on why this was annoying, rather than for moral reasons, had dramatically taken a turn and now he was just pissed the toy had broken because damn, he was totally winning up until now. And hey, they could always buy a new one for the kid, he'd probably never tell the difference, right? Nah.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

The battle was fierce – plastic cracking against plastic loudly in the quiet house. Now, for someone who routinely played with army men, this was nothing out of the ordinary, but he’d finally found someone who wasn’t under eight years old to play with him, which was out of the norm. The fact he didn’t pay Oswald was even better. He was much better at sound effects than Jeffry any day of the week. Perhaps he would hire him just so that they could play with toys all day. Official Toy-Guy had to pay better than moving boxes, after all.

"You can't beat me, Optimal Prius, I'm more awesome then you and I'm rich and sassy."

Then it happened. Iron Dude connected with Opie Prime and there was a crack. It wasn’t a nice crack, either.

“Oh fuck, now what?"

Zander waggled Opie Prime a bit, watching as his arm kind of dangled. Yup, another one bites the dust. Oh well, it was time to move on, seeing as how Iron Dude was probably winning with how Oswald was grinding him into Zander’s toy.

“Tag team,” Zander replied, throwing Opie Prime over his shoulder and going back to the box. He hummed, digging through it before pulling out two more action figures.

This time it was The Hulk and He-Man – at least he knew their names because they were pretty easy to remember. Lord knew he’d watched enough TV with them in it as a kid. He tossed the green guy towards Oswald, holding up Prince Adam of Eternia aka He-Man.

“I have the powwwer...to kick your butt,” Zander said in his best Prince Adam voice. “I shall slay thee, green monster!”

He pointed He-Man sword first towards the other toy, ready to do battle and knock the other toy’s head off. With how cheap these toys seemed to be, it could happen easily.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“Tag team,” Zander said without hesitance, and Osric grinned at him. Oh, good problem solving! He caught the Hulk toy Zander tossed to him dramatically, clicking his tongue with satisfaction when he did.

“I have the powwwer...to kick your butt,” Zander reprised the story, with a great new voice to go with it, “I shall slay thee, green monster!”

"Blah blah blah, you whiney butt,"[/b] Osric said, and yeah, it wasn't his best insult but it hardly mattered when he rammed the toy into Zander's. Plastic cracked against plastic once more, but they didn't break... yet. Huh, perhaps they weren't making these as chinsey as Osric had thought the toy companies had been heading towards.

He make convincing Hulk man noises from his throat, kind of when he'd attempted to imitate Berk McKracken. It fit a lot better for the Hulk than Bert, he decided happily. Anyways, the Hulk was totally awesome and always angry, that was the best part. Also Bruce Banner was kind of a hot brute too. It was really cool he could become a green blob of anger that always reminded him of those green blobby things in Spin Doctor.