Full Of Most Excellent Differences! (Zander) -FIN-

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"Blah blah blah, you whiney butt."

Zander blinked. “Did you just have The Hulk say ‘whiney butt’?”

It was so un-Hulk-like that it took Zander off guard when the green monster was rammed into his toy. At least the toys didn’t break this time. Zander wasn’t sure if there was any point if they were just going to keep snapping like that. Maybe he’d propose a new quality toy division at the next board meeting. Lord knew they could make a fortune.

“Whiney I am not, foul beast,” Zander declared dramatically, giving back with his toy just as good as he was getting it.

They clashed again, hitting each other over and over. These toys were pretty tough, he had to admit. This certainly beat moving boxes any day of the week. He whacked back at Ollie’s toy with the sword in He-Man’s hand, only for the darn thing to fall out of the grip.

“Time out. I lost my sword,” Zander sighed, holding his toy will above their heads to stop the action for a moment. “He-Man can’t fight without his sword.”

It was the rule. He-Man always had a sword, and if he didn’t, then he was Prince Adam. Prince Adam was no match for The Hulk, so Zander better get on finding that Sword.

“Do you see where it went?” Zander asked, looking around his feet for the tiny little sword that seemed to have skittered off somewhere.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“Did you just have The Hulk say ‘whiney butt’?” Zander asked, right before Osric smashed the plastic toys together.

"Oh, shut up,"[/b] Osric said impatiently, though he smiled through it before continuing his Bert-noises.

“Whiney I am not, foul beast,” Zander said grandly, and there were a lot of very impolite noises while the two plastic beings tried their hardest at making the others' pretend heart stop. It only stopped when Zander dropped his toy's sword.

Osric took his opportunity to lay a hard one on He-Man, but Zander said, annoyed, “Time out. I lost my sword,” and Osric had to respect time-outs because that was just a rule of life. “He-Man can’t fight without his sword.”

"Well, duh,"[/b] Osric said a little sarcastically.

“Do you see where it went?” Osric glanced around on the ground but didn't really see anything, so he just took a twig off the ground and wrapped it in some packing tape that he ripped off one of the boxes that they were supposed to be bringing inside the house. "Here, this works, doesn't it?"[/b] Osric asked. He was quite proud of his invention.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"Here, this works, doesn't it?"

Zander’s eyebrow raised at this sword substitute. “Onyx, He-Man is only He-Man when he has his sword. Otherwise, he reverts to Prince Adam of Eternia. The sword and the muscles go hand in hand.”

It was basic carton etiquette. Special powers went with special objects and if you lost them, there was some dire situation in which the hero had to be rescued and finally thwarted evil. So while the stick sword was quite interesting, it was no...now, what did he call the sword again? It wasn’t important. Obie wouldn’t know what it’s name was anyways.

“The point is he needs his right sword or he won’t be right. So, give me a minute.”

He started crouching over, looking for this sword on the floor. He was going to find it or his name wasn’t Zander Barclay Devereux III.

After a minute he didn’t see the sword and sighed loudly. “Ok, new plan. This is He-Man’s brother...He-Guy. He-Guy can use the stick thinger for a sword.”
He carefully put the stick between the toy’s hands, using some of the tape to secure it. Once he was satisfied, he held out his toy dramatically.

“Foul Creature, you may have defeated my nearly as handsome twin brother, but you cannot defeat me, for I, He-Guy, will always prevail because I’m not bound to a dumb old sword. Prepare to be defeated!” he challenged, moving to slash his toy against The Hulk again, the stick making a disappointing ‘thwack’. The other sword was better.

Oh well, as long as he was having fun. He and Osric...no, it couldn’t have been Osric. Oscar! That was it. He and Oscar could keep it up all day.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

“Onyx," said Zander crossly (Osric, thought Osric), "He-Man is only He-Man when he has his sword. Otherwise, he reverts to Prince Adam of Eternia. The sword and the muscles go hand in hand... The point is he needs his right sword or he won’t be right. So, give me a minute.”

Osric shuffled his feet impatiently, and a little guiltily, said, "That's true. Sorry Zander,"[/b] because the stick had been silly of him to suggest. Of course a man wasn't him without his weapon, silly him, stupid Osric. He pouted at himself for his silliness, watching the older man crawl about on the floor. It was just now occurring to him, in the moment of peace, that perhaps this was a bit odd, considering their ages, and maybe they shouldn't -

“-Ok, new plan. This is He-Man’s brother...He-Guy. He-Guy can use the stick thinger for a sword.” Osric's thoughts were immediately forgotten and he began to bash his plastic figure against Zander's immediately. Zander really did have an epic super-hero voice, golly gee. He retorted with not-so-easily witty remarks, and work be forgotten, until -

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Osric jumped half foot in the air.

Oh.
Shit.
The boss. Work. Right.

"What in God's name are you two up two?! I come to check up on you two to see if your first job's going and this is what I find? What am I supposed to tell the family? He was looking around nervously, a bit wrecked, and Osric felt bad. He said so, and the man scowled at him anyways. Well, then. He looked at Zander for help. They could work together against the common enemy now.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

The clashing commenced and Zander was ready to thwart Osric this time. He smashed He...whatever his toy’s name was, and kept bashing him against the other toy with fervor. He was sure he was going to win this time when he was rudely interrupted by a scream from across the room. Not a girlish scream or a cry for help, but an outraged one that caused his companion to jump rather high. Zander was impressed. He barely felt any surprise. He was a trained CEO, after all, though.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Zander cast a curious look in the direction of the person yelling. He vaguely remembered the man shaking his hand and telling him he was hired to be a mover. That seemed like ages ago, perhaps sometime in the morning...

"What in God's name are you two up two?! I come to check up on you two to see if your first job's going and this is what I find? What am I supposed to tell the family?”

Zander felt like rolling his eyes. This man wouldn’t be the boss for long if he let his temper go like this. The first rule he always followed was to keep his head when he was feeling stressed in a situation.

“You can tell them that they need to invest in some higher quality toys,” Zander replied, thinking that it was sadly true. “Rick and I had a terrible play experience.”

“You...I...What...?” The Boss looked flabbergasted by the answer. “You’re fired. Both of you.”

Zander couldn’t withhold his shrug. Yes, well, he hadn’t expected to keep the job this long. It had merely been a distraction to fill his day. Now he could get onto better things. He just hoped Odie wasn't too crushed. If he was, he'd give him some job down in product testing.

"Fine by me."

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Zander seemed very calm about all of this, and Osric wasn't quite sure if that was a good thing. But Zander's calmness assured him. “You can tell them that they need to invest in some higher quality toys; Rick and I had a terrible play experience.”

Osric blinked. He hadn't thought it'd been that bad. But the toys were a bit crap. Not that his own were any better, but still. Toys needed to be able to withstand the horseplay adults - proper boring adults - seemed so eager to suppress. Well, at least Zander got his name right this time. Kind of.

“You…I…What…? You’re fired. Both of you.”

"Fine by me," Zander shrugged carelessly, but his level headedness wasn't quite as powerful as before to Osric. Shit, he'd kind of wanted to keep this job for a while this time. And now he was fired first day! But there was no convincing this guy, if his face told the truth, and Osric bit his lip.

Sorry, sir,"[/b] he half heartedly apologized. And - oh, now Hank was going to be so angry when he learned about it… "Should we… finish up here?"[/b] He meant finish picking up. But maybe the boss didn't get it; didn't want their help.

"Just get out."

Osric had no idea where to go, so… left. He walked down the house's walkway and went left. It was a good direction, wasn't it? He glanced at Zander, wondering what the other man was going to do; he really was clueless. "Maybe we should get those kids replacements or something,"[/b] He said quietly, not quite sure if Zander heard him or not. But he didn't have the money, otherwise he would've done it in a heartbeat.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

Zander waited patiently as Rock and the ex-boss looked each other over. Rock looked like he was about as low as he could get, and the boss got fatter in the last ten seconds. Over all, it was what he was expecting.

“Sorry, sir. Should we… finish up here?" Rock asked, sounding small. Zander was tempted to grasp him by the shirt collar and drag him out of there before they did have to do something that resembled work.

"Just get out." The boss ordered, looking immovable.

Zander shrugged and followed Robbie out of the house. He looked less than decisive as he moved. Well, that was his issue. Zander had made his opinion known. He may have been fired, but at least he hadn’t quit. Now, he’d move on to something else – like going to the office and doing grown up things, like playing with his army men and glaring at the drawing on his wall that he’d bought because Jane was pretty. Yes, he could keep himself busy all day being a grown up.

"Maybe we should get those kids replacements or something."

Zander glanced over at Osso and shrugged a bit. “I’ll have my assistant pick them out a trunk full of top of the line toys.”

He supposed it was only fair for ruining their crappy toys and then not finishing the job. Now someone else will have to come in and do it and make it so that the family would have to wait longer. He supposed he felt bad about that. However, when he could just pay it off, it was easy enough to pass that off to someone else.

“As for right now, I was thinking more along the lines of a burger and fries,” he mused, reaching into his pocket for his phone, dialing quickly. “Jeffry? Have Driver pick me up with a double lunch. My friend and I have been working up an appetite...No. Are you insinuating I don’t have friends? How about you insinuate yourself into a new job that pays a fraction of the wage...? Yeah, I thought so. Burgers. ASAP.”

He closed the phone, muttering to himself over what he was going to do with Jeffry’s bonus this year, before turning back to his companion.

“Alright, here’s the plan. You and I are going to go grab lunch, then we’ll go play with good toys, and then there might be time for something loaded with sugar.”

Yes, that sounded like a good plan. Much better than standing around on the sidewalk like layabouts.

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Zander did seem very upset at all, which bothered Osric a little. Especially when he said, "I’ll have my assistant pick them out a trunk full of top of the line toys.”

"Um... ok?"[/b] Osric said, staring, confused. Was Zander rich or something? Now that he looked again, the guy was kind of... pretty. For a dude.

“As for right now, I was thinking more along the lines of a burger and fries - Jeffry? Have Driver pick me up with a double lunch..." Osric listened to the phone conversation in fascination. Wow, he even had an assistant. Someone he could fire and threaten and make go on errands and stuff. That was cool. Osric wondered if Zander was a congressman or something.

“Alright," Osric started when Zander addressed him, "Here’s the plan. You and I are going to go grab lunch, then we’ll go play with good toys, and then there might be time for something loaded with sugar.”

"That sounds great,"[/b] Osric admitted, "But, I mean... thank you so much, but you don't have too."[/b] Before he could stop himself: "Are you like a CSI agent or something?"[/b]

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"That sounds great. But, I mean... thank you so much, but you don't have to."

Of course he didn’t have to, but it would look rude if he either brought Osric along and ate in front of him, or if he were to just leave the man standing on the sidewalk looking like someone had kicked his puppy. Really, this was more so that he wouldn’t have to lie later when anyone asked him if he’d been a decent human being that day.

"Are you like a CSI agent or something?"

Zander snorted. “Hardly. Only the ones on TV make any money.”

And sadly it was true. People made far more by being entertaining than they ever would for honest work. It was a disparity in society, but one he wasn’t about to attempt to fix. After all, his own family had a fortune and he hadn’t seen Sidda do a lick of work in the past ten years. He wouldn’t see her destitute, nor Jean or his mother. He would persevere, but he didn’t like to think of what he would have to do in order to accomplish that feat.

“My full name is Zander Barclay Devereux III,” he offered, wondering if this young man could put the pieces together on his own. “And I make far more money than even the CSI agents on TV.”

Well, it was the truth. If it sounded a might pretentious, well, then there was nothing he could do about that.

“So, you can come and enjoy my wealth for the afternoon,” he offered. “And believe me when I say my toys do not break.”

[OSRIC YOUNG]

Zander seemed to find his question highly amusing. “Hardly. Only the ones on TV make any money.” Really? He hadn't known that. If it was true, it was rather, a lot, sad. “My full name is Zander Barclay Devereux III," Zander reintroduced himself, “And I make far more money than even the CSI agents on TV.”

"Oh. Well - gosh,"[/b] Osric said. What was he supposed to say? He couldn't just be like, 'Good for you,' because that'd be rude, and anything else also sounded rude.

“So, you can come and enjoy my wealth for the afternoon. And believe me when I say my toys do not break.” Zander sounded quite proud of himself, there.

Osric nodded slowly. Yeah, that sounded fun. So what if he didn't really know this guy? Who cared. He seemed nice, and he doubted he was gonna kidnap or rape him or something. "Alrighty, sure,"[/b] Osric said, then nodded firmly and grinned up at Zander, "Yeah, that sounds wicked fun. Thanks man."[/b]

So he was fired. So what. He could always find another job. And he had his music store anyways! Well, that was only part time, but still... he'd be okay. Of course he'd be okay. And anyways, having fun topped being okay anyways.

[ZANDER “ZEUS” DEVEREUX]

"Oh. Well – gosh. Alrighty, sure. Yeah, that sounds wicked fun. Thanks man."

Zander nodded in approval, spying the car pulling up on the curb. He hastily started shedding the overalls he’d thrown on for the job, not wanting to get wherever he was all over the interior. He left them on the sidewalk, figuring someone would pick them up and wear them. The people in this neighborhood would appreciate free clothing, he hoped. Jeffry climbed out of the passenger seat, his usual disapproving scowl in place. He was such a stick in the mud.

“Hmm, apparently you did make a little friend.”

He ignored the jab, gesturing at the car sharply, and watching as his assistant opened the back door. He could smell the burgers and his stomach rumbled in appreciation. Say what you would about the man, but he followed orders well. He climbed in without hesitation and slid over, leaning so he could still see through the door.

“Well then, let’s get a move on, Obi-Wan. I’d like to put whatever this part of the city is in the rear view mirror.”

And that was the understatement of the century. He was ready to get back to civilization.